the best online guide for the groom and best man
writing your wedding vows
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How should a groom verbalize his commitment for his bride and the masses? Go with traditional religious vows, borrow modern vows or write something creative and perhaps more meaningful than anything else?
While different religions have different traditional vows, it is surprising to know how similar they are. For example, a typical Catholic wedding vow is as follows, with the Priest (mercifully, leading the groom and bride through the words):
"I, [the groom], take you, [the bride], to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part."
A typical Jewish wedding vow is as follows (again, with the Rabbi leading the groom and bride):
Rabbi: Do you, [the groom], take [the bride] to be your wife?
The Groom responds: I do (Ed. - Let's hope so!)
Rabbi: Do you promise to love, cherish, and protect her, whether in good fortune or in adversity, and to seek with her a life hallowed by the faith of Israel?
The Groom responds: I do
Rabbi: [The groom], as you place this ring upon the finger of [the bride], speak to her these vows: "With this ring you are consecrated unto me as my wife, according to the law of God and the faith of Israel."
Variations of these words have been around for centuries, and there may be strength and comfort in uttering them, but for some, contemporary or personalized vows will feel more meaningful to you.
Examples of contemporary vows can be found on www.myweddingvows.com, which have many 'non-traditional' vows that may suit you. There are some truly sappy contemporary vows out there, so groom beware! GroomGroove.com found the following vow, and thought it was well done without being over-the-top:
"It is the greatest desire of my heart to be faithful to you and to love you always, seeking to meet your every need, desiring to help in every way, listening to you, encouraging you, comforting you and standing by your side in whatever circumstances may face us in the years ahead. I will respect you, honor you and strive for harmony in our marriage with a quiet and gentle spirit."
These contemporary vows have been crafted to maximize emotional impact. Select your vow and go for it.
If you're the type that detested writing assignments in school, then the classic or contemporary vow is your best bet. But if you believe in being different or mildly creative and you don't want to speak someone else's words at your wedding, then the personalized vow will work for you.
In your personal vow, you'll want to focus on the qualities that drew you to your bride and any memories that can be tied into the general theme of the vow.
Keep in mind that your bride will also have to prepare a similar statement. You may even opt to work on these vows together. Try to give yourself a fabricated due date for your vows well in advance of your wedding day so that you'll have plenty of time to memorize and rehearse. If you decide to keep the vows a surprise for the special day, you may want to consider running them by a friend just to be on the safe side. Personalized vows may require more time and effort, but in the end, the reward will be in the eyes of your bride.
What about jitters? A groom will be a nervous camper on his wedding day. If there's any way that you are likely to stumble and forget your personalized vows, it will be awkward for everyone involved. While it is out of the ordinary to write your vows on a small cue card, it may be a good idea if you are truly in a bind and are worried about forgetting the words for this all important minute. Under no circumstances should the groom write the vows on your hand.[Page 1 of 1]
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