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[+] paying for this wedding

- who pay$ for the wedding?

- cost-saving tips

- stag & doe: wedding fundraising

what the hell is a wedding registry?

making the guest list

[+] the wedding itself

- the wedding rehearsal

- rehearsal dinner

- writing your wedding vows

- catholic weddings

- jewish weddings

- hindu weddings

- interfaith weddings

[+] the wedding reception

- the wedding reception will be a blast

- a dry wedding

- choosing a wedding emcee

- what's the right order for wedding toasts?

- the garter toss

- grooms cakes

- wedding reception music

- the first dance (and learning to dance)

destination weddings

an environmentally friendly wedding

wedding photos

easy thank you cards

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who pays for it [Page 1 of 2]

Ahh...wedding traditions. In the good ole' days, the bride's parents typically paid for the entire wedding. It was, and for those fortunate enough to have in-laws that still cling to tradition, is, a great deal for the groom and his family. Then, somewhere around the 1950s, the groom and his parents began covering the rehearsal dinner and the honeymoon to Niagara Falls. GroomGroove.com happens to think that we've evolved just a little bit more in this new century. The groom's family is pitching in, and more and more, brides and grooms are paying for the wedding themselves, with limited financial contribution from the parents. The power of the purse strings may entail a venue and menu veto, minding the music and even power to invite guests that neither the bride or groom have ever met.

Before we get rolling on who pays for what in wedding planning, below is a basic rundown of who covers what, according to tradition that started back in Moses' time (or something like that):

The Groom and His Family
  • The engagement ring
  • Wedding bands (the gold ring that you will wear and the ring that complements her engagement ring)
  • Marriage license
  • Officiant's fees
  • Rehearsal dinner
  • Groom's attire
  • Gifts for the male attendants (aka the other players)
  • Gift for bride
  • Boutonnieres for the male attendants, including both fathers and grandfathers

  • Wedding transportation expenses on the day of the wedding

  • The honeymoon

The Bride and Her Family
  • The engagement party
  • The wedding gown and accessories
  • Gifts for the bridal party
  • Gift for groom
  • All stationery (e.g. invitations, wedding announcements, ceremony and reception programs and thank you cards)
  • Ceremony site rental, not including officiant's fee
  • Decorations for ceremony site
  • The reception, including room rental, meals, cake, beverages, caterer's fees, decorations, wedding favors and guest book
  • Photographer and/or videographer
  • Wedding entertainment
  • All flowers, except for flowers worn by the groom, fathers, grandfathers and male attendants

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Fri, Oct.12th 2012
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Sun, Sep.9th 2012
I stumbled upon this site coz I needed to know why the bride or bride's parents have to pay for wedding here in the U.S., I attended 2 weddings here in Calif in the last month and found out both brides paid for almost all expenses. These brides are originally from the country where I came from (Philippines) where as far as I know..grooms pay for all wedding expenses. That's because the wife is precious and is expected to carry the man's child/children. Oh my! I just don't think the bride should pay all wedding expenses..but if not, I think should atleast be 50/50 at the most!!
Thu, Jun.28th 2012
Why does the wedding band have to be gold? From what I've seen, gold is a rare choice for grooms these days. It's mostly modern metals for men, such as tungsten, cobalt, and palladium. So many sites like http://www.tungstenworld.com/ sell only tungsten wedding bands because of how popular they are!
Tue, May.15th 2012
James Dixon - Kate and I had a ball on our wedding day and I would very much remcemond Olivier to anyone who is thinking about using him. His photos are of exceptional quality and he is a great person to have around you on the day! He really helped us because as mentioned in his post, neither Kate and I are at our most comfortable being photographed.
Sun, Sep.25th 2011
You Sir/Madam are the enemy of confusion eevryhwere!
Mon, Apr.4th 2011
I have butterflies all ova me... I am getting married
Thu, Jan.27th 2011
These traditions are based on principles that are so antiquated not even my great grandmother can remember them correctly. These "rules" were put into action and accepted as the norm in a different time. In the past women lived home until they were wed and their father paid for the "reception" as a gesture of gratitude for the man taking his daughter. Back then ceremonies did not involve 6 live bands, ice sculptures, 19 horse-drawn carriages, 450 guests, 5 dresses (ceremony, pre-dinner, dinner, post-dinner, dancing . . .), 13 course meals served all night, 2 photographers, a calligrapher, and a guest MC for all announcements. Today people marry across their socioeconomic classes with much more freedom, and that means total contributions to a joint venture (weddings do involve TWO people ladies, not just yourselves) so that each party can contribute what they can comfortably afford. Again, this is based on the predication that the two getting married are doing it within their economic means and not some wanna-be "I spend all day watching Super Weddings on TLC" dream you've forced upon yoruself. I say if you want something extravagant and need to get a loan to do so knock your irresponsible self out . . . just do not expect me to co-sign that loan. My family is financially secure and I have an above average income ($82k/yr base at 26y.o.) yet spending half my annual gross income on a ceremony is the absolute dumbest idea I have ever heard. I've been to a wedding recently that was 6 figures plus and it was a great time, that night, and we've never really talked much about it since . . . I'd rather dump that into my ROTH and 401k any day. To the guy who decided on a large wedding over a down payment on a house (really?) enjoy your impending debt, foreclosure, and divorce! I'd like to hear the "oh well, its just money" line when you are asking me for change in a few years!
heart broken
Sun, Nov.28th 2010
Can't believe my finance broke the wedding because I discussed the finances involved in the marriage after seeing her pick a 12k ring .. well for us we were marrying and doing the nice ring part at the same time ..not sure what it means when she said I have to expenses on everything and going forward she would keep her account seperate and as a man I would take care of all and she would contribute . and when it came time for contribution out of 30k plan she wanted to spend only 3-4k ..btw she earns as much as I do .though I can spend it but it looked like for future also a contant mystry in everything we would be doing, on how much I can spend on something so I wanted to discuss and she felt I am pressurizing her .. broke my heart money was really not a concern but this feeling of lack of trust leave me heart broken .. came all the way to other coast to do the marriage arrnagement and have no one around in this hotel room I can cry my heart out ...
Sat, Jul.3rd 2010
When a young woman moves out of her parents home before she is married, she is fully responsible for her own wedding.
Fri, Mar.5th 2010
2.2 billion wow.. a wedding of that size must've been publicized.. I have a buddy with one arm.. he actually has a "nub".. we call him nubby, but anyway hes always bragging about how he "nubbs" his girlfriend. Sorry man I know its most likely impossible for you to compete with such girth.=(
Fri, Feb.5th 2010
I just spent 2.2 billion on my wedding. The day after I filed for bankruptcy. She then left me for a chimp with one arm. Go figure? A sad, real story too.
Mon, Dec.28th 2009
Your Comments It such a stupid rule for bride's family to pay for the wedding. Who created this rule?! What men do?? even anything? Or may be they should pay for bride's wedding debt after the wedding.
Mon, Dec.28th 2009
Your Comments It such a stupid rule for bride's family to pay for the wedding. Who created this rule?! What men do?? even anything? Or may be they should pay for bride's wedding debt after the wedding.
Mon, Dec.28th 2009
Your Comments It such a stupid rule for bride's family to pay for the wedding. Who created this rule?! What men do?? even anything? Or may be they should pay for bride's wedding debt after the wedding.
Sat, Oct.3rd 2009
Your Comments I know a young man who has been pushed into something totally wrong. She is Hindu and he is Catholic. They are to have two weddings, A Christian and Hindu. Who pays for what in this situation. There are reasons from many people that this union should not occur. Not because of him, but because of her. Help, Help please. Not once has he said he loves her. I have spoken to him in length and all he says is she cleans and cooks. They don't even live together. Yes he has a fantastic job and she knows how to spend his money. From their first date two years ago she has made remarks about how her left finger is so bare, how light it is. This young gentleman is my son-in-laws very best friend from childhood until know. He has even told him not to do it. Help Help Help
Wed, Sep.16th 2009
Your Comments Listen wedding are to be the one thing in life that should be a blessing from god, it does matter how much you spend on the wedding, I my self would like to have a million dollar wedding and ask for $1.00 donations. Do you think this will work if i put it in to play.
Mon, Aug.17th 2009
Come up with a budget. The parents(and few very good friends) will most likely want to help out, so they can cover little things. The bride and groom should then decide who pays for what and what they will go half and half on. Well thats our plan and all is going well.
Sun, Jun.28th 2009
it is simple: you (and family) pay for ring, she (and family) pays for wedding. Both should cost about the same. If you choose to have a honeymoon, it should be a joint expense of the couple, or a gift of the groom's family.
Tue, Mar.17th 2009
me and my wife got married with everything cater,photographer reception and nice church for under 7,000$ you jus have to know where to cut costs. be smart.do it once, dont do it again. and DAN thats kind of rude font u think?
Sun, Mar.8th 2009
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Fri, Jan.23rd 2009
I believe "BELIEVE" is spelt thus - B-E-L-I-E-V-E. Idiot
Wed, Oct.29th 2008
Tue, Aug.5th 2008
The groomsmen pay for the rentals themselves, although the groom should keep this in mind when deciding what he and his bride want them to wear
Mon, Aug.4th 2008
Do groomsmen and ushers pay to rent tuxes themselves or is the groom responsible for this cost?
Thu, Jun.26th 2008
You know, the most in expensive wedding is the one at the court house. Go out to eat afterward with the family and a few close friends. The "industry" has blown weddings way out of proportion. The point is to go before God and everyone to declare each other as life partners, not spend $20,000 to show off.
Sat, Mar.8th 2008
Why do we rely on old traditions to dictate who pays for what? It is insulting that we in the U.S. claim to be 'modern' but rely on the woman's family to pay for most everything. If we really claim to be progressive or equal wedding costs should be shared equally. Too bad my parents aren't as feminist as me.
Thu, Jan.17th 2008
i told my lady we could do it if shy could come up with some money. i cant pay it all.
Fri, Dec.14th 2007
Your Comments im glad im reseching weddings i found out that i barely have to contribute as the bride and my family will flip for most the cost since they love me very much and i find out that i do not have to pay what i thought what a relief thanks to that i will no longer panic and as for my sister i picked out a resonable dress that she can pay for and it can be altered a little bit thank you for the big tip my shoulders feel relief
Fri, Nov.16th 2007
I just spent $34,000 on our wedding. I asked my wife "do you want a downpayment on a house and a small wedding or a big wedding - your choice." We had a spectacular wedding, and it was total blast. It's all good - it's just money.
Fri, Nov.16th 2007
yeah! they are silly expensive. as if i wasn't enough in debt already
Tue, Nov.13th 2007
I wish weddings were free

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