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making the wedding guest list
[Page 1 of 2] As a child, you probably loved making lists. What's more fun than listing the five things you have to get for your eighth birthday or the ten greatest baseball players of all time? Now you're a groom sitting in front of your computer and though still eager to plan a wedding, you may be dreading the impending finality of drawing up the guest list. Sometimes a daunting task, creating an invite list doesn't need to give a groom a migraine. Step 1: Go to your gut To establish the foundation for your guest list, start with your gut feeling. With your fiancee at your side, write down the core group of invitees. Your most important friends and family members will come to mind first. Though this original list might reveal the bare minimum in terms of numbers, it will give you both an idea of your essential guests. Count on this initial list to at least double in size after both sets of parents get their hands on it. Grooms will be shocked -- shocked -- at how quickly the envisioned "40 person wedding" turns into a humongous affair. Step 2: Let it marinate Keep this original list around for at least a week. You will probably have a "how could I forget him?!" moment at work, and then you can adjust the rough draft accordingly. Plus, this gives you a little time bring up some touchy subjects early on, such as ex-boyfriends and girlfriends. (ed. - More on the former flame conundrum in a moment). Step 3: Take it up the ladder Of course, we all know that this is your wedding. However, depending on the level of parental involvement, it may not always feel like it's your wedding. Your parents and future in-laws might have a completely different agenda when it comes to this guest list. One of them may see the wedding invites as a potential angle for a new promotion at work or as a way to connect with old friends, and you may need to understand that. In many cases, they're paying for the wedding (or at least making a nice contribution towards the event) so you should try to keep an open mind. Nevertheless, don't completely cede control of the invitations. Make sure you politely voice your opinions and attempt a compromise. Your dad is entitled to invite his golf buddies, but raise the red flag if you start to notice names of people whom you've never met or never even heard of. article continues...[Page 1 of 2]
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