post your comments post your comments email this page email print this page print home >weddings 101 >wedding guest list

[+] paying for this wedding

- who pay$ for the wedding?

- cost-saving tips

- stag & doe: wedding fundraising

what the hell is a wedding registry?

making the guest list

[+] the wedding itself

- the wedding rehearsal

- rehearsal dinner

- writing your wedding vows

- catholic weddings

- jewish weddings

- hindu weddings

- interfaith weddings

[+] the wedding reception

- the wedding reception will be a blast

- a dry wedding

- choosing a wedding emcee

- what's the right order for wedding toasts?

- wedding reception music

- the garter toss

- grooms cakes

destination weddings

an environmentally friendly wedding

wedding photos

easy thank you cards

making the wedding guest list [Page 1 of 2]

As a child, you probably loved making lists. What's more fun than listing the five things you have to get for your eighth birthday or the ten greatest baseball players of all time? Now you're a groom sitting in front of your computer and though still eager to plan a wedding, you may be dreading the impending finality of drawing up the guest list. Sometimes a daunting task, creating an invite list doesn't need to give a groom a migraine.

Step 1: Go to your gut

To establish the foundation for your guest list, start with your gut feeling. With your fiancee at your side, write down the core group of invitees. Your most important friends and family members will come to mind first. Though this original list might reveal the bare minimum in terms of numbers, it will give you both an idea of your essential guests. Count on this initial list to at least double in size after both sets of parents get their hands on it. Grooms will be shocked -- shocked -- at how quickly the envisioned "40 person wedding" turns into a humongous affair.

Step 2: Let it marinate

Keep this original list around for at least a week. You will probably have a "how could I forget him?!" moment at work, and then you can adjust the rough draft accordingly. Plus, this gives you a little time bring up some touchy subjects early on, such as ex-boyfriends and girlfriends. (ed. - More on the former flame conundrum in a moment).

Step 3: Take it up the ladder

Of course, we all know that this is your wedding. However, depending on the level of parental involvement, it may not always feel like it's your wedding. Your parents and future in-laws might have a completely different agenda when it comes to this guest list. One of them may see the wedding invites as a potential angle for a new promotion at work or as a way to connect with old friends, and you may need to understand that. In many cases, they're paying for the wedding (or at least making a nice contribution towards the event) so you should try to keep an open mind. Nevertheless, don't completely cede control of the invitations. Make sure you politely voice your opinions and attempt a compromise. Your dad is entitled to invite his golf buddies, but raise the red flag if you start to notice names of people whom you've never met or never even heard of.

article continues...
[Page 1 of 2]
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Rich
Fri, Feb.29th 2008
Rating:
Keep in mind that everyone who's already married knows what hell it is to plan a wedding. If they invited you to theirs, but you don't have the space to invite them, address it with them. Everyone understands "we'd like to keep it small." The only people who "deserve" an invitation to your wedding are you family members and those friends you communicate with actively. Those who are part of your life. If you correspond by email once a year, or only see them on trips back to the home town around Christmas, leave them off! But tell them you're leaving them off because you're trying to keep it small.

Post Your Comments:

Name:
Rate this article: