I'm the mother of the groom, and appreciate the guidance this site has provided. My husband and I agreed to set a budget for our son's wedding. We've invited members of the wedding party (not signifiant others) along with the Bride's mother to the rehearsal dinner. My son and future daughter-in-law understand and appreciate that these are tough economic times - both have done an amazing job themselves to scale back on the expense. If anyone feels we are not doing enough, that's their issue. Most important thing to focus on is the love of these two individuals and celebrating their marriage.

Haha...$500 and twenty people??? Wish I was paying for that one!!!! How about several grand and finding out you are entertaining/feeding almost HALF of the people invited to the wedding. Meanwhile, the Bride and Groom still don't have a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out of. They could have had a house with a yard for my GRANDCHILD to play in :(

Advise sought: As mother of the groom I was appalled to receive an email from my sister to inform me, my future daughter-in-law and parents had booked a resturant for the rehearsal dinner without consulting me. Not sure if this bothered me the most or the fact that they choose the resturant where my family had recently celebrated my father's birthday just weeks before his death. I did completely freak out and refused to go to the rehearsal dinner. I've also said I would not pay for the dinner if the venue was not changed. Am I being unreasonable?

Your Comments A rehearsal dinner can be expensive. Wish I had a book on what was proper ettiguette and what was not. But I had no control of where , when how who was invited and what was to be done. Only that I had to pay for it and had to pay for it because that is what I should have planned for in my life. I am on disability and had just paid for a funeral losing my son. I was disappointed that my only living son did not allow me to have a say in what I was paying for. In fact they invited several children to the party and they did not eat their food which I paid a very hefty price tag for. I had no idea that children were coming. I had total surprises. In fact the very people who I asked my son to invite were not included but at the last minute he was able to get them included. Then they celebrated someone in the other families birthday at the event, which is why all the children were there. I was very hurt. I know these things should be ironed out somehow beforehand but isn't the person who pays the bill suppossed to plan this and not the couple. Shouldn't we have some say in it since it is our gift and our money. And shouldn't it not cost a couple thousand dollars when you have just lost a child and had to pay for a funeral? I think brides today are different than yesteryear. They want something very elegant. I had my own rehearsal dinner at a brother in laws house and we invited a lot of people. Cost was extremely minimal and we paid for it because my in laws could not afford it. I am sorry that things happen in weddings the way they do because when I expressed my disappointment I think my new in laws or not happy with my comment about my being unhappy about paying for someones birthday party with their family. I felt sad from just losing a child. Plus, I wanted to be close to my only living son but we were at odds because he wanted to let his future wife have her happy moment. Her happy moment cost me a lot of money and it also caused a rift between us which I wish was not there. I want to have a close relationship with my son, his wife, his children and his family. I really like them all. I just wish that the event could have been handled differently so no one could have felt like they do now. Wish we could have just had something simple in which I could have invited people not able to be invited to the wedding. What is the protocol for these things. I requested something simple in a nice place which I was able to have for no fee at all. They could have invited anyone they wanted. I wanted it catered and still with a sit down dinner it would have been less expensive for me. Even allowing the event to take place the way they wanted still created feelings which were mixed. Wish it could have happened a different way because I would like the family to be close. I really like the in laws and my daughter in law. But this stupid one event has caused her to feel odd toward me, because I expressed some hurt about paying such a high price for something like that. Shouldn't I have had some input when paying. No matter what I did the way they wanted it didn't do me any good because I think they were still upset with me.

Your Comments Trivia questions: Name the last team to beat the wings for the cup?

Your Comments So sad to see Carl miss GAME 7 of the Stanley Cup FINALS when the famed Detroit Red Wings will kick the butt of the "Peng-goo-ins" in DETROIT. So sorry to hear you will miss the game Carl however, Etiquette is Etiquette. By the way, Dave T. says he is so sorry to see this as well. Have a great day Carl

Your Comments Well, I am the mother of the Bride and the Maid of Honor. The groom's mother did not include us in the rehearsal dinner planning. She has planned a party at her house for all the out of town guests and her home is 2 l/2 hours from my home. We can't have the rehearsal before the rehearsal dinner because of her choosing her home so far away and on top of that the wedding is at 10:00 the next morning. I will need to leave with the Bride to the venue at 6:00 in the morning in order to drive the hour and get the bride and myself ready for the ceremony. I think the Groom's mother was inconsiderate to plan it like this. She was asked to change it and threatened that if we didn't come she was not coming to the wedding. At that point I suggested my daughter call off the wedding.

At the last count the grooms dinner is up to 75 people! We could not afford to have it at the wedding site on the rehearsal night so we are having it one night before. I am getting grief about having it at the house and not on the night of the rehearsal... This was originally agreed to but now the bride is balking. Is there anyone else out there that has had the grooms dinner the day before the rehearsal? How did it turn out?

I totally agree- the wedding rehearsal dinner must be taken as an opportunity to relax with friends and family. There should be entertainment and fun. I recently attended the wedding rehearsal of my niece that was so wonderful. They had put up a big-screen tv and played a musical show made with pictures of the couple's dating days. It was perfectly choreographed to music and because it was professionally made, the results were awesome! It was so romantic and touching to watch their love story on the screen. Later, they presented a copy of the DVD to every guest as a souvenir to take home. They got the show custom-made for them by Smiling Snaps and I had never seen anything like that before.

Your Comments Should small children be invited to the rehearsal dinner?

Cyndie - Sandy, That's on the high end for a rehearsal dinner, but not over the top. Everyone in the wedding party, plus significant other, parents, siblings, kids...it all ads up. Just wait til more people show up than expected at the wedding reception itself!

Your Comments My "yet to be" duaghter-in-law advised that the rehearsal dinner will be 37 or so people. Granted, large wedding party and some special guest - but 37 people! Do you think that is a bit much. I found your article very helpful in guiding me to the making the right decision. Many, many, thanks!