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planning the rehearsal dinner
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The Groom and His Family Plan and Pay for the Rehearsal Dinner - So goes tradition Wedding traditions being what they are, it is typically the groom and the groom's family that plan and pay for the rehearsal dinner. That tradition, of course, originates from the concept that the bride's father was paying for the wedding reception itself, the next day. Nowadays, there's a lot more flexibility, with the bride likely wanting to have a say in what the tone and style of the rehearsal dinner will be. In terms of paying for the dinner, however, to be clear - this is a dinner that is being hosted for the benefit of an intimate group of guests. We suggest that you budget around $500 (Yes, really. It adds up). When the rehearsal dinner takes place, and for how long As the name suggests, the rehearsal dinner naturally takes place soon after the wedding rehearsal itself, and that probably means the night before the wedding itself. Keep in mind that the rehearsal dinner doesn't have to go on for hours - it's fine to wrap things up fairly quickly after everyone has finished eating. Everyone will be tired, and you and the bride should get a good night sleep, even if it's guaranteed to be a bit crappy. Who gets invited to the rehearsal dinner? So if the groom and bride are paying for the guests, who gets an invite, and how many people are invited? The rehearsal dinner should be hosted for your parents, your bride's parents, the wedding party, the officiant and grandparents and other VIPs. You might also consider inviting guests that have made extraordinary effort to make it to your wedding; those that have travelled a long way to get there. Finally, each of the members of the wedding party should be allowed to bring their significant other. You'll also need to consider babysitting, if needed, or accomodate their children at the rehearsal dinner. Plan on hosting around 20 people. Of course, who ultimately attends is up to you. article continues...[Page 1 of 3]
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Humbug
It seems to me the original tradition was to reward the participants in the wedding for their support and participation, not to have a pre-wedding party for everyone invited to the wedding. I would think the rehersal dinner should be the night of the rehersal and include only the participants. It might be appropriate to include the participant's significant other if the wedding isn't too large. If you invite 40 to 50 people to the rehersal dinner at a simple restaurant the bill will be $1200 to $1500 not $500.
Boo Hoo Lou
Your Comments Trivia questions: Name the last team to beat the wings for the cup?
Boo Hoo Lou
Your Comments The dead wings won't win anyway so you won't have to cry like a baby twice in one weekend!
DAA
Your Comments
So sad to see Carl miss GAME 7 of the Stanley Cup FINALS when the famed Detroit Red Wings will kick the butt of the "Peng-goo-ins" in DETROIT. So sorry to hear you will miss the game Carl however, Etiquette is Etiquette. By the way, Dave T. says he is so sorry to see this as well. Have a great day Carl
djlct
brides parents are hosting rehearsal dinner at their home for family only. Groom's family would like to host something for out of state guests- wedding in WA; gooom and close friends mosly east coast.
Best way to do this?
Sandra
Your Comments
Well, I am the mother of the Bride and the Maid of Honor. The groom's mother did not include us in the rehearsal dinner planning. She has planned a party at her house for all the out of town guests and her home is 2 l/2 hours from my home. We can't have the rehearsal before the rehearsal dinner because of her choosing her home so far away and on top of that the wedding is at 10:00 the next morning. I will need to leave with the Bride to the venue at 6:00 in the morning in order to drive the hour and get the bride and myself ready for the ceremony. I think the Groom's mother was inconsiderate to plan it like this. She was asked to change it and threatened that if we didn't come she was not coming to the wedding. At that point I suggested my daughter call off the wedding.
Jenna
The significant others, i.e. husbands/wives, girlfriends/boyfriends, fiances, etc.. should be invited. Since our wedding party consists of mostly family, we are opening our rehearsal dinner up to the children of the wedding party, which is only 2 extra children, since the other 2 are already in the wedding party. Don't be afraid to try doing something simple, we are hosting our own rehearsal dinner at home. We are setting up tables in our garage and backyard - we'll be having a sub tray, pizza, and salads - just something simple. Good luck!
anon
At the last count the grooms dinner is up to 75 people! We could not afford to have it at the wedding site on the rehearsal night so we are having it one night before. I am getting grief about having it at the house and not on the night of the rehearsal... This was originally agreed to but now the bride is balking. Is there anyone else out there that has had the grooms dinner the day before the rehearsal? How did it turn out?
Annie
Your Comments
I think the idea of inviting everyone who has come from out of town to be a bit excessive. If you're going to invite everyone for the rehearsal, why not just have the wedding that night and get it over with all at one time. You could save alot of money that way. For some weddings, everyone is coming from out of town.
Palmella
I totally agree- the wedding rehearsal dinner must be taken as an opportunity to relax with friends and family. There should be entertainment and fun.
I recently attended the wedding rehearsal of my niece that was so wonderful. They had put up a big-screen tv and played a musical show made with pictures of the couple's dating days. It was perfectly choreographed to music and because it was professionally made, the results were awesome! It was so romantic and touching to watch their love story on the screen. Later, they presented a copy of the DVD to every guest as a souvenir to take home. They got the show custom-made for them by Smiling Snaps and I had never seen anything like that before.
Tim
Your Comments Rehearsal Dinner::
When you say significant others, does that mean husbands and wives. Or do boyfriends and girlfriends get invited also?
Tim
Your Comments
Should small children be invited to the rehearsal dinner?
Grooms Dinner to honor groom?
Your Comments: Is the groom's dinner meant to be a dinner in honor of the groom? For our groom's dinner the mother of the groom sent out formal invitations that read "Grooms Dinner in honor of James Smith" on the front and then on the inside had the location, time and date and toward the bottom "on the eve of the marriage between Jane Brown and James Smith. Does anyone else find this to be in poor taste? She insists that this is proper invitation etiquette.
The tables at the restaurant were set up placing the bride and groom at a table for 2 on the outer edge of the room. Maid of honor with spouse and 1 guest at a table for 4, The best man and spouse at yet another table for 2. All of the other guests were by family group.
The mother of the groom sat at the center table set for 8 with her daughter's family (sister of groom).
We thought it was odd that she hadn't considered a table for the bridal party to sit together. Or that she chose to sit with her daughter than to share a table with the bride's family whom she had never met. (The bride's family had come to town months earlier and invited her to dinner but she refused because she needed to bake pies for Thanksgiving the following week.
Thankfully, the best man contacted the waitress to set a table up near the group to sit the bridal party together.
Does anyone have any comments?
Groom Groove
Cyndie - Sandy,
That's on the high end for a rehearsal dinner, but not over the top. Everyone in the wedding party, plus significant other, parents, siblings, kids...it all ads up.
Just wait til more people show up than expected at the wedding reception itself!
Cyndie
Your Comments - We had 40 at the rehearsal dinner. It was limited to wedding party and their dates, minister, parents, grandparents and husband's brother and sister-in-law, along with their son-in-law and daugther (these three came and help up decorate, prepare food and cleaned up while I attended to my guests - therefore we invited them to eat). The other brother and his wife were upset that they were not invited. My husband tried to explain and they just refused to accept why. The other brother even tried to make a scene during the receiving line - my telling our sone he was sorry he couldn't be at the rehearsal celebration - they just refused to accept what we told them - the mother and father of the bride did not ask other aunts and uncles to attend this dinner. In fact the only was the the minister, who was the bride's uncle.
Sandy
Your Comments My "yet to be" duaghter-in-law advised that the rehearsal dinner will be 37 or so people. Granted, large wedding party and some special guest - but 37 people! Do you think that is a bit much. I found your article very helpful in guiding me to the making the right decision. Many, many, thanks!
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