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fundraising: stag & doe [Page 1 of 2]

Planning a wedding is an expensive prospect, and the big payoff at the end - the honeymoon - can be pretty costly as well.   That's why many couples forego the traditional engagement party , in favor of a "stag and doe" party (also called a "buck and doe" party).   The idea behind a stag and doe party is the same as an engagement party - it's a chance for the people close to the bride and groom-to-be to celebrate the upcoming nuptials. The difference is that a stag and doe party is larger, more elaborate, and has the ultimate goal of generating some much-needed extra cash for the happy couple.  

An engagement party can be a small, intimate affair, easily accommodated by a house.   This isn't the case for a stag and doe party.   We're talking about a rented venue, with as many guests as you can convince to attend.   The name of the game is selling tickets, and if you're going to sell enough tickets to turn a decent profit, then this party needs to be an outrageous bash that your friends will be talking about from now until your first wedding anniversary.  

The saying "you have to spend money to make money" is embodied in the stag and doe party.   You'll need to rent out a space, such as a bar or club, hire a dj, find some servers and bartenders, and provide enough finger food and alcohol to keep your guests energized and partying all night long.  

Who Gets an Invite

As the name suggests, the stag and doe party is a co-ed event.   Anyone you would want at your bachelor party is a shoe-in for the stag and doe party, and the same goes for anyone your fiancée is planning on asking to her bachelorette party.   College friends, work buddies, guys you hang out with at the bar, guys you bowl with on Tuesday nights, whoever you can think of that would be interested in coming out and having a good time for a nominal fee.   In fact, invite people who can't even make it to the party.   It is not at all uncommon for invitees who can't attend to by a ticket anyway, since the money is going to a good cause (i.e., the groom and bride).

Get your invitations out as soon as possible.   As with all wedding-related events, it's to your advantage to make a guest list well ahead of time.   You shouldn't count on a lot of ticket sales at the door, so start talking up your party as soon as you decide you're going to have one.   That way, by the time you've actually figured out all of the expenses and calculated how much you will have to charge for tickets, your invitees will have caught onto the buzz.

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patricia rose
Wed, Sep.19th 2012
Your Comments please advise amount of time before the wedding that the stag & doe should be held. thank you
Moses Simiyu
Tue, Oct.26th 2010
My greatest desire is to do church wedding but looking at my income almost US $ 3 per day from my small business makes me sweat. I have a very understanding fiance who works as a nurse who loves me for who I am. She suggested that since we can't afford a wedding I just go and see her parents then inform our Pastor and we start staying together. We had set a date of going to her parents is the week of Nov 22 2010. Looking at our finances we only have bus fare so far. In our culture it is a taboo to go to your potential in laws empty handed.The way things are I might appear before them empty handed. I just don't know if I should quit or do what. Moses Simiyu, Mombasa, Kenya.
Wed, Jun.16th 2010
tiffany, are you serious? its an extremely common trend and it is widely, widely accepted and loved. perhaps it's not common in your area, but don't judge. it's no more "tacky" than expecting gifts at your wedding.
Thu, Mar.11th 2010
Fundraising for a bride and groom is not a good cause, it's tacky.
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Mon, May.4th 2009
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Your Comments Good to know.

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