If you and your fiancée are of different faiths the tension can reverberate through both of your families and make waves at your wedding. This is something that you have to face head on, and probably will lead to some compromises for both of you. However, there are some ways to make an interfaith wedding ceremony work well, no matter who or how many Gods you have!

The good news is that you and your bride have likely been dating for some time and have likely come to terms with how you friends and family (and you) perceive your relationship. That said, you do need to have a frank discussion with your bride-to-be about her spiritual beliefs and how they differ with your own. A good way to orient your thinking is to ask the question "What role will religious faith have in our new household?" If children are likely, it's certainly not too early to ask the question, "How do we want to raise our kids?" You and your wife will be building a home together and certain traditions and beliefs will be a huge part of that.

It can be a little tricky finding an officiant for an interfaith marriage. Even the most open minded religious official may not feel comfortable officiating over an interfaith ceremony. For example, at a minimum, either the bride or groom must be Catholic, and the other Christian, to be married in a Catholic church. Accordingly, it is likely you will have a few sit down sessions with the officiant before the wedding. Make time for this before the ceremony and be certain that their religious ideas are commensurate with yours. It is helpful to find someone who has an interest in both traditions. If there are specific religious aspects of the ceremony that you'd like to include, make sure you talk your fiancée through them and making clear their significance to you. Go over all of the options and choose the one that is best for both of you and both sides of the family.

Conversion

Maybe your bride is devout and you are searching for a spiritual center. If her religious background and traditions appeal to you, you may want to convert. This is not as arduous as it may at first seem to be. Most religious officials who are comfortable performing an interfaith marriage will be happy to walk you through the steps of conversion. It usually involves classes in the religious traditions that you are about to inherit. Don't take this step lightly, but don't rule it out. If she's willing to convert, try to be supportive, and take it slowly. Let her know that she doesn't have to turn her back on her family - just because you've decided to raise your children Jewish, She can still go to Christmas at her parents' house.

Put it in a secular venue

Even though you may want a priest to bless the wedding, you may not feel the need to have the ceremony in a church. This might be something that her family will be far more comfortable with if they are of another belief. Also, if the ceremony would be conducted in Hebrew, for example, consider making as much of it as possible in English, so as not to alienate her family.

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