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[+] all the groom needs to know about engagement rings

- a groom's guide to engagement rings

- diamond-buying
guide

- do you need GIA-certified diamonds?

- buying an engagement ring online

- surprise ring or blank check?

- how much should a groom spend on an engagement ring?

- engagement ring price calculator

[+] popping the question

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[+] "pre" marriage things

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- pre-marital counseling

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a second marriage for the groom?

engagement announcements

the engagement party

dealing with cold feet or wedding jitters

dealing with bridezilla

eloping

a las vegas wedding

the name change: sometimes touchy

backing out of your wedding: a survival manual

your fiancée called off the engagement

tax consequences of getting married

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How much should a groom spend on an engagement ring? [Page 1 of 2]

Grooms who are ready to ask for a woman's hand in marriage will inevitably attempt to figure out how much money they should spend on an engagement ring (diamond ring or otherwise). Guys have all heard (probably in passing) the idea that the diamond engagement ring should cost two months' salary. GroomGroove.com says spend what you can.

What grooms are buying

At the outset, grooms should know that any indicators of how much an engagement ring should cost refer to the diamond and the setting (ie. the entire engagement ring) and not just the rock itself. That is at least some form of consolation.

Where did the two months of salary idea come from?

The origin of the two months' salary begins with DeBeers, the largest diamond producer and marketer in the world. In 1947, in an effort to increase diamond sales in the United States following a depressed wartime market, DeBeers launched a marketing campaign with a New York advertising firm. A copywriter penned the famous slogan "A diamond is forever". As far as advertising slogans go, it's pretty damn good. A diamond, like your marriage, is supposed to last forever. (ed. - We're thankful wedding preparation doesn't last nearly as long.)

From our research, GroomGroove.com understands that DeBeers wanted to bring diamonds to the masses, rather than have them be for a select few. Accordingly, the price of diamonds was set at approximately two months of salary, which is somewhat tied to inflation.

Diamonds, just like your marriage, are an investment, and have been an investment device for several thousand years. Hard, durable and used to mine for other minerals, diamonds are generally quite rare (although they are not the rarest of gemstones). This, coupled with cartelization by the producers and resellers, keeps diamond prices very high. As a result, it will cost a groom at least $1000 to purchase a diamond of decent cut, clarity, color and carat. Of course, a $1000 diamond engagement ring will likely be lacking in two or three of the four C's. Accordingly, a groom is likely to spend at least $2,500 on his bride's engagement ring.

(Speaking of which - if you want to learn how to make an awesome marriage proposal, we highly recommend our e-book on the subject...) article continues...
[Page 1 of 2]

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Mon, Jun.10th 2013
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Brad
Sat, May.4th 2013
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Has anyone considered buying a used engagement ring? I have been looking at http://www.haveyouseenthering.com . There is a pretty good selection http://www.haveyouseenthering.com/Categories/331/Rings/Engagement-Rings and the site seems to be reputable.
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Thu, Dec.20th 2012
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Roger
Fri, Nov.9th 2012
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"buying a ring worth two months of salary shows your commitment and how much you love her" I say give her the money upfront. Why should I help some rich bastards get richer? Diamonds don't have any inherent value beside their fake scarcity. I don't mind spending money for someone I love, I just don't tolerate someone using this to extort money from countless people. Diamonds aren't forever, they are cheap minerals that can be artificially created.
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Fri, Oct.12th 2012
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A friend of mine requtseed, and received, and engagement cat. One of those hypoallergenic cats bred with the mutation of lacking the enzyme in their saliva that some people are allergic to. Her fiance is allergic, she loves cats, so she requtseed the hypoallergenic cat. =)However, if you want jewelry, you might look into an eternity band. You can wear more than one together, if you like the look. A friend of mine switches between her "beater band" which is a plain silver band, her eternity band, and her eternity band with her engagement ring.
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Wed, Sep.26th 2012
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MF
Mon, Jul.30th 2012
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I didn't get a ring when we got engaged, and after about 15 years of marriage, I told my husband I always wished I had an engagement ring. He went to walmart and bought me the smallest one they had (1/10 of a carat and cost about $200). I acted like I loved it, but it did hurt. This year is our 20th and I just think I deserve something nice - I don't think I'm being shallow.
Carrie French
Thu, Jun.7th 2012
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Great article! It all depends on how much YOU want to spend. It's not about some predetermined formula based on a percentage of your income. I've read this in so many other places such as www.how-much-to-spend-on-engagement-ring.com and www.how-to-buy-an-engagement-ring.com. I'm so glad that people listen to the advice on sites like these and not the marketing department for DeBeers! You can get a great ring for 1 month's salary and even less. It's more about how much you love your future fiancee and less about how much you're willing to spend. That's a sign of TRUE LOVE!!
Melanie
Wed, May.2nd 2012
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De beers is the proverbial "Fat cat getting fatter". Why in the hell would I want my future fiance to fatten the pockets of some shady-not-altogether-honest-brainwashing diamond company? I looked at their jewelry site and didn't see a single thing there that made me tingle. I looked at Tiffany also, saw something I liked made a mental note then thought to myself wait - I want to go the "green" route. When I think of mined diamonds I think of holes in the earth, violence, children getting blown up, rape and guns. Not exactly romantic and it sets off negative feelings. What IS a diamond worth anyways? A mined diamond is worth only what retailers convince you it's worth and to me honestly it's worth nothing. I saw the same ring I saw at Tiffany's (they use blood diamonds) over at Better than diamonds and yes Better than diamonds uses (for their Tiffany reproduction) the same jewelers that used to make Tiffany's jewellery and the best part is it's an Asha diamond. Affordable, with diamond compounds and it's clean ...100% clean. I know more than 6 months ago the Kimberly process was stolen/forged to falsely certify more than 900,000 carats worth of diamonds. People are going this far for diamonds DO I want to support this type of business? Hell no. There are options out there for people who want the most beautiful ring out there but also love their fiance more than anything. For all you women out there who are using their engagement ring to show their "dick is bigger than the next girls" get the hell off your high horse you make me shamed your female. Nothing attractive or beautiful about greed or egos. Number one lesson you should learn now about being in a relationship is you have to know when to bend, when to put yourself aside for your partner, you have to know when to give in and when to take and if you cannot fathom that then it's a clear sign you aren't ready to get married. You have to be able to put someone before yourself before you can get married chickies. Unbelievable - how pigeon and sheep like most women are ! If there are 10 girls in line and they jump off a bridge are you going to follow ? Same idea here - if 10 girls have rocks bigger than yours are you going to go home feeling bad about it or screaming bloody murder " well she has a bigger one waaa waaaa"? They CORRECT way to handle it is shrug and think to yourself " Oh well , they might have a bigger ring but only I have the man that gave this ring to me and damn I'm a lucky girl".
Mary
Fri, Apr.27th 2012
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It is the gesture that counts. Putting aside 2 months salary shows that you are willing to make some sacrifices for the woman you love. If you are in debt or are dealing with financial issues - then you shouldn't burden your future wife with more debt.
Pragmatist
Mon, Jan.16th 2012
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I didn't have any doubts about spending 2 months salary on an engagement ring. After my divorce 13 years later and now 10 years afterward my exwife has 3 such rings. There has been much said about the fidelity of men and women but honestly speaking the diamond is no measure of commitment, love, or character of the person giving or receiving the diamond. It simply means we accepted the societal norm of spending and heaven forbid Woman A's ring is smaller than Woman B's because then they feel slighted by their man. When all is said and done lasting marriages in this country are a dying breed. We live in a disposable society. Any man choosing to spend serious money on a diamond today where less than 50% of marriages last beyond 10 years is a fool. Ladies for all your high ideas of what he should or shouldn't spend ought to be ashamed. Anyone thinking that an engagment ring costing the price of a new/used car is the 'least the man can do' is self entitled and delusional. I would happily take the 15,000 and go somewhere truly spectacular before going that far overboard again!
Victoria
Sun, Jan.15th 2012
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The ring is a term of endearment. What you can buy within your means will show her how much she is valued in the eyes of him. No need to break the bank...after all, you do have to build your life together and you can't do that when you're making big payments on a ring.
HappyNurse
Sun, Dec.4th 2011
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Well I can't say this surprises me at all but rather saddens me like many superficial people I've met. To those woman that require a ring the price of a used car: you're using this outrageous ring and overpriced possessions to fill a void. You're using objects to distract you from your sad, boring, loveless lives. Personally I enjoy getting a good "deal" on something. I would expect my husband to be smart with his/our money so we can buy and have more. I have told him I would be angry for him to spend over $1,000 on a ring. Why would you want an obnoxious rock weighing down your finger. Your just telling the world and yourself that you can feed a city in Africa with whats on your hand? We have bought our dream house, he helped me buy a good car, and I for one would like to spend money on things that matter. Our future kids college fund, vacations to make lasting memories, the honeymoon! I am thrilled to be joining this man that I love, that would do anything for me at the drop of a dime, that spends every day showing me how much he loves me in different ways in a lifelong commitment. I am sad that he had to feel like shit and belittled by reading some of this garbage. I consider myself lucky to know what love is.
Camilla
Wed, Nov.2nd 2011
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Engagement is one of the most important part in a relationships. I was going out with my boyfriend for 4 yeras and I know that he was preparing for this moment for 2 years in order to buy me the engagement ring with which Im gonna be happy.We went to 47th street diamond district in NY and i fall in love with one 4.06 radiant cut engagement rinhg. The name of the store was Golda Jewelry,the price was little bit over our budget and we came home and we went to their website and i saw this ring for 20%off))) Can you imagine that??? I want you all know that if you really want something you will have it. By the way I promised them that im gonna recommend them. So try: www.goldajewelry.com
johann1965
Mon, Oct.3rd 2011
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After reading several online sources about diamond size, what women want, and the statistics in the U.S. for engagement diamond sales, I'm stunned...STUNNEd how superficial some women can be. 2 months salary? I you kidding? I'm not putting 15K into jewelry, no matter how much I make. My fiance is quite thrilled to have a beautiful .75 D engagement ring. We'll spend the extra money on a fantastic and memorable honeymoon in Europe.
td
Sat, Sep.24th 2011
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uh we carry your child for 9 months -- it's the least you can do
Bob
Wed, Aug.10th 2011
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I'm okay with 2 months salary on a ring but shouldn't the women also spend 2 months salary for the mans ring or maybe a watch...think about this ladies.
Diamond Rings
Thu, Jul.7th 2011
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It is an assumption but may be wrong as there are innumerable options offered online that can help you to get products at affordable rates. http://www.ajaffe.com
Ringboy
Sun, Jul.3rd 2011
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I made a decision on the ring. I decided to go gay!
Julie
Wed, Jun.29th 2011
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oh don't be so cheap people... if she wants a nice big engagement ring then 2 months salary is very reasonable. if your boyfriend doesn't have at least 4 months salary in a savings account for emergency or for if he loses his job or something, he lives beyond his means or is irresponsible to begin with and you shouldnt marry him. if he has a few months salary saved up, then he can spend 2 months salary on the ring. if she wants a small ring then that's her perogative too.. he doesn't have to spend the 2 months if she prefers small rings. also, if the man earns very little, don't waste you money or a small diamond ring for under 1000$! be creative and buy a nice ring with a pearl or another gem she might like.. most men who say they don't want to spend too much on a ring would spend 1000$ on a bike or on a fishing trip with buddies. where are your priorities??
Andi
Sun, May.22nd 2011
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Your I fully agree with the 2 month salary rule. If you are serious about being with your partner for a lifetime, you should get her the absolute best diamond you can afford! This is something she will wear forever and something your children and grandchildren will see. I have a $40k ring and I think it is worth every penny. It brings me so much joy and even keeps other guys away when they see it! My husband made the choice to pass up buying a sports car to get me my dream ring instead. Every time I look down at it I am reminded of how much he loves me and the sacrifices he makes for me.
Nicole
Mon, May.16th 2011
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So I am one of these girls that got a rather cheap ring... It was $950 but because he asked me on xmas he also got a discount of 30%.. i love the ring but at every wedding we go to, i am always the girl at the table with the smallest ring... the last few weddigs i just say i didnt wear it cuz it dont fit anymore..it just hurts my feelings. i feel like i wasnt worth it... my husband makes 5 grand a month.. i make 7 grand.. my husband also bought me a heart shaped neckless once, it was 69.00 the one i wanted my whole like was 149.00 he bought the cheap one instead of the one i wanted, that hurt to...my husband spends 150.00 a month on a car that has been parked in our garage for 3 years in insurance, he spent 10 grand on a painting back in 2008... so my advice is add up what you spend on beer in a year and buy her a right worth more then that!
Lucy
Wed, Apr.13th 2011
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I don't get why the cost is so important to other girls... How about have your fiance propose with a thick stack of $100 bills instead of a diamond ring? I agree there is a HUGE difference between cheap and reasonably inexpensive. There are plenty of classic, BEAUTIFUL rings from under $1,000. There are plenty of cheap looking gaudy rings for over $10,000. The simple trick is to find something that your fiancee will like when it comes to STYLE, NOT PRICE.
Colette
Tue, Apr.5th 2011
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Some people are very materialistic, so I can understand why people go by the 2 month salary rule. However not all women are after a whopping great diamond. I can't stand rings, let alone big rings. I can't imagine some big gem stuck on my finger, it'd be horrible! I don't understand why people feel the need to say that if you love your girlfriend then you MUST buy her the best of the best, this is a load of crap. It shouldnt matter how much you spend on her, its the fact that you are certain you want to spend everyday of your life with her. I for one don't want a flashy ring, and if I ever get one I'll be frog marching him back to the bloody store and telling him to save it towards a home, a future and a life together...All of that is more important than a piece of tin with a stone stuck on it. Get over yourself you silly people. WHY does it matter what others think of you, are you going to see them everyday? No. Are you going to speak to most of them? No. Are they important you you whatsoever? For the most part No. You're gonna die one day, what the hell will a crappy £2,000+ ring do that a £100+ ring won't? Men, if she loves you, and its a shallow cow she will love WHATEVER you give her...Don't stress, it is afterall just a ring.
kermit
Sun, Mar.6th 2011
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As a rule jewellery doubles in value every 20 years, but of course like a car don’t expect to sell it for more than you paid when take it home and expect the value to drop if it’s damaged. Also for a site with big ad’s for Blue Nile on every page, they would do well to mention the risk of on-line shopping, guess you guys didn’t do much research, the Diamond Exchange site that went insolvent late last year owing $2.5 million, mostly to their customers .Because almost all on-line Diamond sites don’t own any Diamonds!, they just link their website to a real wholesaler (which 90% of the Diamonds listed are already pre sold). Also Blood Diamonds are everywhere on-line! The Australian jewellery trade is subject to the Kimberly Treaty unlike almost all other countries (only 19 out of 800 countries signed the treaty). Many people end up with cheap faulty rings, (poor alloys with metal fatigue, poor factory quality not made by a qualified jeweller or too light weight and can withstand the inevitable knocks a ring will take), because they are so caught up trying to save some money, and don’t realize that there “discount” just comes of the quality of the ring. But you should only spend what you feel comfortable with, she’s marring you! not the ring!
Nela
Thu, Mar.3rd 2011
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The author of this article should do a little more research before stating, "Diamonds, just like your marriage, are an investment..." - NOT. If they were a true investment, everyone selling their old wedding rings would be making a profit; it's clear from most private sales that you lose money when you try to sell your "precious" diamond. Unless you have something truly majestic, ie the Hope diamond, you're on the losing end of things.
Haily Jade
Thu, Feb.24th 2011
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The diamond engagement ring is the most durable and culturally entrenched invention of the twentieth century. In charge of advertising diamonds for De Beers in the US, Frances Gerety coined the clever marketing slogan, “Diamonds are forever” in 1947. Her slogan ensured that every marriage proposal in North America would to be sealed with a high-priced diamond engagement ring. It signaled a cultural shift that established diamond engagement rings as the symbol of love, fidelity and endurance. Potential mates took the slogan to heart. In 1940 the conspicuous consumption of diamond rings surged and, in turn, prices soared. De Beer’s marketing campaign, and the concomitant shift in social norms, established that the diamond engagement ring continues to have the power to separate the truly committed from the hucksters. It ensured in the minds of every girl and women that any mate worth his salt would willingly spend two months’ salary on the princess cut bauble. I overheard a conversation: “Without a ring you don’t know for sure he is serious about getting married.” It seems that the words, ‘Will you marry me?’ are not enough to qualify as an official engagement. What a crafty invention.
the bride to be
Thu, Feb.17th 2011
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I would just like to state, that if you can't afford the one she likes, then, just save up for it and make it an anniversary gift... Thats what me and my fiancee are doing, we got each other rings that were right around 100 bucks, but we''re going to have a vow renewal once we hit the 10 year mark, and then we'll prolly be financially stable (well more)... and if we don't hit that mark, then hey we just saved alot of money lol
Moanz
Fri, Feb.11th 2011
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I've been with my husband 15 years, married young, and now have 4 kids. We're both working very hard with our jobs/home-making and bringing up the children. We had a lovely wedding but neither of us even discussed or purchased an engagement ring, It didn't cross my mind, I only gave thought to the big day, and our lives thereafter. Its only years later that i thought we should've bought a ring b4 starting a family. There's always something more important to spend the money on! Im shocked at this thread tho, the suggestion you cant buy a decent ring for less than 2 x mths salary is nuts. Also eveyone seems to be going for huge stones? Having kids, (and for me my job) means im now choosing something more practical between .35 and .50 max. Believe me large rings will be a pain when you have kids. Certainly in England there's loads of lovely rings for sale for less than a months salary. I rarely see people here with really flashy rings, maybe we're not under the same consumer pressure? Dont feel under strain to spend loads of money!! I do understand the importance as a ring as a symbol of commitment but in these difficult times financing your future is more important, and having quality time together is priceless XX
Just Engaged
Sun, Jan.30th 2011
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this sounds like a lot of insecure ranting from people who can't afford/ did not receive a DECENT ring. I 100% agree with the opinion that there is no need to go overboard and to buy a huge diamond. But you still want something that goods decent and classy. A modest ring CAN be beautiful. But you want modest, not CHEAP. When people hear your girl is engaged, the first thing they ask is to see the ring. Do you want to embarrass her with a $500 piece of crap that screams my fiance doesnt give a shit? And that makes them think "poor girl." Unless you REALLY CAN'T afford $2,500 for a decent ring, you are just being miserable. You usually can't find a respectable diamond ring for less than that- as this article states. To the man a piece of jewelry doesn't matter, but guess what? It's not about YOU. It shows that you took the time and made the sacrifice to invest in something that IS important to most women. And as for the girl bragging about her fake diamond, I am glad I'm not fooling people and lying everytime I show my ring. Some suggestions for making a smaller diamond stand out more is to get a bigger, more ornate setting with the diamond set INTO the setting rather than on prongs. Then the diamond is part of the ring rather than the centerpiece of the ring.
David
Wed, Jan.26th 2011
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The question is...what does she expect? If she truly loves you just for you, then she doesn't expect much. It doesn't take a ring to impress her. Love is supposed to be the driving force here, not money. If she isn't just as happy with a $2,000 ring as she would be with a $20,000 ring, then maybe you should reconsider your thought of marriage to her. I make pretty good money and could actually afford a ring upwards of $15,000, but if I came home with that my soon to be fiance would be disgusted. That's the kind of girl I want to be with. If the first question out of her mouth was "how much did it cost?" or "how big is the stone?", the first question out of mine would likely be "are you going to be gone by tonight?" I guess it just comes down to what kind of people you both are. Do you need a piece of jewelry to to "prove" your love, or do you do that through your daily actions anyway? You shouldn't have to "sacrifice" when buying your ring...that idea is ludicrous. The thought of you wanting to be married shouldn't be one of "sacrifice", it should be one of rejoice. The bottom line...There isn't any reason to be brainwashed by what you're "supposed" to buy. Buy what you want to buy and if it isn't good enough for her, she isn't good enough for you.
average guy
Wed, Jan.26th 2011
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This whole 1 month salary or 2 months salary "rule" is very silly. 2 months comes from a marketing campaign in 1947 & time has moved on. If I simply got a loan for 2 months salary to spend on a ring, it wouldn't involve any real sacrifice on my part - I could pay it off over 5 or even 10 years and barely notice the difference month to month, so it would be a fairly empty gesture. A meaningful gesture is to save money and spend your own cash you have already earned on somebody you love. However - the less you earn, the harder it is to save. A rich man earning 10k a month saying he won't spend 10k/20k on a ring is SURELY far more selfish than a guy who earns 2k but won't spend 2k/4k on a ring, as the proportion of the poor man's income that is "disposable" is far lower. We live in times where people in their 20's and 30's marrying for the first (and hopefully last) time are often living together and paying lots of bills and sometimes already have kids - this is not a world of foot-lose and fancy free people of 20 living with their families with few financial commitments of their own until they marry any more. In europe (I'm British) a basic 3 bedroom family home now costs over 5x annual average salary and rents are similarly ridiculous, so there are other considerations, rather than having the perfect engagement ring, wedding or honeymoon. If people were being "sensible" about it they would have cheap engagement rings. I've got some good advice to pass on down from my grandad (RIP) to any guy who hasn't got much to spend or has agreed with his partner that they need the money more for other things - save a small amount per week for the rest of your life, and then when that little acorn has grown and you have the financial security to do so, spend the lot on the type of ring you wanted to buy her in the first place and give it to her when you get to an important anniversary. Saying all this, I am about to buy a ring for my partner. Now personally, I would actually rather have spend 25% of what I am planning to spend on the ring, and give the other 75% to charity of my partner's choice in her name, put it towards our joint savings, or saved it towards a "once in a lifetime" holiday for our honeymoon... However, my partner has rather more conservative views that I respect, and because I love her, I will put her feelings before my own and buy her the ring she wants. I personally believe that I should spend an amount of money that represents a significant sacrifice on my part - not an arbitrary amount based on what I earn, but an amount that will "hurt" me a bit to part with. I am chosing to spend some of the money I have saved on flying her off on a suprise holiday to make the proposal in the most romantic place I know in the world (it's a secret!), because the proposal is as important as the ring, in my opinion. I have already managed to gradually elicit the "required" cut, setting, metal and her ring size and I have been learning about diamond values to ensure I get the best possible ring for the budget. To me, this is at least as important than what I am spending as it shows I can be bothered? Lastly, to the ladies on here expressing "disappointment" with their engagement ring - get some perspective, millions of people will die painful deaths this year from stavation, unclean water supplies and diseases which can be vaccinated against, your man failing to meet the high expectations of your ring finger is hardly the end of the world?
doober
Fri, Jan.21st 2011
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You buy a diamond once in a life time for your special one. Do it in style, but save money for it. Don't charge
suzanna
Thu, Jan.20th 2011
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I have a 1.5 carat high quality FAKE diamond.. i get compliments on it all the time and jealous glances..cuz it sparkles like crazy.. Nobody know the difference.. It made me realise how stupid the whole engagement ring thing is.. It is all just for show and an attempt to make other people around you jealous. And the funny thing is my fiance is a successful professional with a 6 figure annual salary.. so nobody doubts that my ring is real.. engagement ring is a sign of commitment my arse.. a simple gold wedding band can show as much commitment. diamonds don't make a happy marriage or guarantee that your husband will be faithful .. simple human effort does that.. People nowadays are just stupid and materialistic and have their priorites all twisted. our grandparents marriages lasted longer than hours and they couldn't afford 1 carat diamond ring or even a half carat. Start living in reality people!!
Tom
Tue, Jan.11th 2011
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There are more practical and fiscally responsible ways to show someone that you love them. The idea of buying a ring is an antiquated tradition that just shows how monumentally materialistic our society is. Rather than spend the $12,000 (that my GF wants) for a useless piece of material, we could put it toward the down payment on a house, a new car, home renovations, or anything that would ultimately improve our quality of life. Many people look at rappers and musicians and are disgusted by the excessive cars, jewelry, and toys that they buy, but when it comes down to it, they would just as easily spend a ton of money on things that do nothing for anyone (other than aesthetics). OPEN YOUR EYES, PEOPLE!!!
BG111
Wed, Jan.5th 2011
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"How can a man be willing to spend 30,000 on a car he'll have for 15 years if he's lucky, but not spend 2 months salary for a wife that will have his children, be his partner?" This statement alone makes me seriously wonder about the future of this country. First, your statement compares the utility of a car to that of a wife but that's not the choice that's being asked of men. What you should compare is the utility of a car versus that of a ring. A car is a useful machine. You need it to get around. A diamond ring has nothing but aesthetic value. It has no functionality except to keep other men from hitting on your fiance (and it doesn't even do a great job at that). If we were talking about spending 2 months salary on something that increases your wife's functionality in some way (ie necessary medical treatment or even cosmetic surgery) then 2 month's salary might not come close to being enough. But we're just talking about a useless ring. "Two months is about 16.7% of your annual salary. Don't we tip a higher percentage to some stranger that serves us food at the restaurant around the corner? Sometimes we don't even like the service and we still give them 15%. Don't you think your future wife deserves the same, if not better?" Another great display of bizarre logic and apples to oranges comparisons. Lets take this to the extreme. I give about 33% or so of my salary to the IRS and state revenue department and I hate both of them, so I should definitely be willing to spend at least a third of my salary on a ring for my future wife. Or look at it this way: I spent about 3x my salary on my first house. I certainly love my wife more than that POS so spending 300% of my salary on a ring shouldn't be out of the question either. Look people, you tip 15% or whatever at a restaurant because the waiter is providing you with a service. And its 15% of your bill. Not your gross income. Seriously, anyone spending more than 1% of their gross income on restaurant tips really needs to learn how to cook for themselves. An engagement ring isn't a dowry and you're not buying it in exchange for any service. Marriage is a mutual arrangement and presumably both you and your wife derive some value from it. Neither of you should require some material item to cajole you into the marriage. A ring is a useless item with only aesthetic value. Maybe you should dedicate 16.7% of your useless purely aesthetic item spending for this year on that ring but the ring's value has no inherent relationship to your salary, how much you tip a waiter, what you pay for a car, or anything else.
FED UP
Sun, Dec.5th 2010
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I think it's the principle that matters. If you're whining about "having" or "being forced" to spend X amount on a ring, then GROW UP. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. But if you're willing to spend 2 months salary on YOURSELF for a flashy car or home theater or whatever, then maybe you should consider spending the same, if not MORE, on the woman you love. It's about being selfless, not about getting her a giant rock. If you can't afford something, don't worry! She loves you and the fact that you make at least some sacrifice for her to show your SELFLESS LOVE will be enough. If you get her some cheap, ugly piece of sh*t and buy yourself a plasma TV in the same week, what's she gonna think?! Just do your research and don't whine whine whine like a child about having to spend money.
SAF
Wed, Dec.1st 2010
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Your Comments: Some people have no clue at all. It is not about how much money you spend on a ring. My fiance and I are getting married in 4 days. We went to the Bahamas and he proposed to me with a ring that i got to pick out. He told me I didnt have a limit to what i could get. I looked at 1 ring said thats it and away we went. I got a piece of the hearts on fire collection which is fairly expensive. Im not saying its right or wrong to spend a lot of money on an engagement ring but just remember its something she is supposed to wear for the rest of her life. We do ok for ourselves financially and it wasnt the price of the ring we looked at.
Brittney
Sun, Nov.28th 2010
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Your CommentsNeither my family or my husband’s family have ever had a lot of money. When we started talking about getting married I made it very clear to my husband I didn’t need a huge ring, and I most certainly didn’t want the ring to be a huge financial burden for him. Therefore, when I got my very dainty engagement ring I was ecstatic. However, as time went by and lots of other people I knew started getting engaged I would catch myself looking at their rings and being jealous and even somewhat embarrassed. I am a practical girl and understand what I was/still feel when I see other’s rings was/is completely 100% absurd. However, I still feel it, and then sometimes question why I’m not ‘worth as much’. I often now only wear my wedding band so I don’t have that awkward feeling when people look at my ring. I usually tell my husband it’s because I don’t want to scratch my residents at work, or that I don’t want to damage it at home, etc. Although I am far from a materialistic woman, I do wish I had a bigger ring (I would NEVER tell my husband this). Therefore, to all you men out there understand that even if you have an amazing, down to earth, soon to be fiancé, you don’t necessarily have to go in debt, and you defiantly do not have to buy the huge extravagant ring, but you SHOULD save over a period of time, and spend what you can.
Leah
Thu, Nov.25th 2010
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If my boyfriend were to spend two months' salary, my ring would cost $0. We are broke-as-**** college students. I already feel lucky that he'll be spending even MORE than two months' salary...even more than a whole year's salary...for the ring hahaha. He must really love me at that rate
PGR
Wed, Nov.24th 2010
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I think the two month rule is crazy for people who make huge amounts of money. If my boyfriend were to do this my ring would be worth about 70k. I would be happy with whatever he proposed to me with because I know it was earned through hard work and picked out with love. I think most of you are missing the point that this is a gift from the one you "love" and last time I checked love does not come with a price tag.
ridiculously happy:)
Wed, Nov.17th 2010
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my fiance makes about $2000 a month. We just had a baby and are looking to buy a house. He bought my ring for about $800 on sale retail value was over $2000. i can honestly say i didnt care what kind of ring he would have gotten me and i told him that he could buy me a cheap cz ring and i would have still been happy. my ring is the most beautiful ring i have ever seen and wouldn't trade it for anything i have never seen another one like it. it feels special to me. so to all the men out there dont think u have to spend an excessive amount of money on a ring if she truely loves u she will b happy with anything u get her. u should know her well enough to know what she will like. mine sure did.
Confused.
Tue, Nov.16th 2010
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This is ridiculous!! I am a young professional, that is paying off a huge mortgage and to think I have to fork out 2 months pay is a joke!! My girlfriend knows I earn $30k in 2 months and if this is what she is expecting from me I would be extremely disappointed. Our cars dont even cost 2 months pay!!!! I have had friends buy great rings for less than $4k and I was under the impression this was a generous amount? Now I am confused and worried she will be upset.
Ken
Mon, Nov.15th 2010
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According to the 2 month rule, I would have ben in the hole for almost 20k. That wasn't happening for a ring and not due to me. If my soon to be wife found out i spent 20k on a ring she probably would have dumped me! lol. I got a great 2.5 carrot for around 8k and she loves it. Good luck guys...
Yellowbeard
Thu, Nov.11th 2010
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Well, I read every single comment and I feel like I learned something here. It's OK that women value the ring highly and want it to be a really nice one. They need to be able to show it off to their friends, like we need to be able to show her off to our friends. Buying it should be a financial challenge to the man, where he proves he can put two and two together. I think what I will do is learn from her what she really likes in rings and stones, then find a great rock at a pawn shop or flea market, and have it re-set into a nice custom ring that is exactly how she likes it. That way she'll get a good sized, real diamond, in just the type of ring she wants, and I won't have to spend massive amounts of dosh for it. Cheers.
Ami
Sat, Nov.6th 2010
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I wouldn't want my boyfriend to spend that much on me; I'd rather have a ring made of cheaper, created (ethical!) stones or crystals that carry sentiment for us, and that's only because I know he has his heart set on buying a ring and proposing to me. If we're going to spend thousands of dollars on our engagement, I'd rather make it an engagement vacation we can both enjoy.
Dan
Tue, Oct.26th 2010
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And YES Brenda, you are a horrible person. If you judge your b/f by the size of diamond he buys you you don't deserve him. I wish I knew who he was so I could warn him of the type of person you are.
Dan
Tue, Oct.26th 2010
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You people are nutz! Thankfully I have a girlfriend that understands the absurdity behind the whole marketing scam. Paying exorbitant amounts of $$$ for diamonds is plain stupid unless it is truly one of a kind (like the Hope diamond). Anything else simply indicates you have succumbed to the peer pressure and companies like DeBeers have won!
Josh
Sat, Oct.16th 2010
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Spent 9k (GBP) on my engagement ring. My partner didn't want an expensive ring but decided to invest in this beautiful diamond I spent ages looking for. For me its only once in a life time so I decided to buy her a ring that she deserves. I know its pricey for the ring but to be honest I rather I spend the money on her than crap that I will buy. Everyone has a different views and opinions but everyone is different. You make your decision what to buy and dont let anyone tell you differently. Everyones circumstances are different and theres no rule of thumb what to get. If your happy buying a 500 pound ring and she be happy than let it be. I paid for the 9k ring because she deserves to have something special and sentimental in her life and years to come.
Brenda
Sat, Oct.9th 2010
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After reading this article and subsequent comments, I'm pretty disapointed in the engagement ring I am wearing. My fiance proposed to me in a time in our life when we are entering economic hardships and I am having trouble understanding why he decided this was a good time to blow $700 on a ring. I feel that he should have waited for a better time when he could have saved up and bought me something a little nicer. I am a little bit embarrased to show the ring to anyone because the diamonds are so tiny. Am I horrible person for wanting more? I love him but I feel like something is awry because I have established a successful entry level career position and he is getting his work hours as a salesman cut in half. If anyone has any advice, I'd love to hear it.
Erik
Wed, Sep.29th 2010
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I just bought an engagement ring for my girlfriend whom I am truly blessed to be with. I am a recent college graduate, but in this economy I can get a job in the industry which I trained for, and am working a part time job to make ends meet. I am suprised no one has discussed shopping around for deals. Just because its the "big question" doesnt mean you have to go to the premiere jewler to spend your money. As for custom rings designed exclusivly for your bride-to-be, there are so many designs in creation already, I simply (crudely with my artistic skills) drew what I wanted to get and eventually found a suitable ring very close to what I imagined for her. Although not the top of the line (as per my working situation and finances) I found a nice $1700 ring on sale for under $400. Its is a piece of jewlery I know she will love, matched what I was searching for, and clearly at a price that wont keep me from paying my bills or incurring new ones. Bottom line, I know my partner well enough to know what she will like, and that's what matters. It also doesn't hurt that she (jokingly) stated she'd marry me even if it was with a cand ringpop.
dave
Sat, Sep.4th 2010
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i plan on proposing on sept 11 kind of an unfortunate date to americans didnt hit me when i booked every thing
scott
Sat, Sep.4th 2010
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i have just brought an engagement ring for my gf of 2 years she lives three hours drive away from me and relay wants me around all the time but we cant do this at the moment because we are both studding i spent 5k and then found out about this supposed rule and i did spend the apparent correct amount.. i dont believe in it as i didnt relay know how much i wanted to spend but saw a ring and a diamond and instantly thought that she would love it.. i now hope that when i give it to her every time she looks at the ring all she dose is think of me and not how much its worth... i do think mabey she will think its alot of money but i wanted to spend it on her so its my choise i will tell her that i dont want a birthday present or christmas present this year as her wearing that ring is my present and we should save that money for a house....
EnergyTrader
Mon, Aug.30th 2010
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If spending 2 months of salary on an engagement ring is genuinely accepted as today's "standard," this would be yet another reason why I'm short the future fiscal health of the United States. The fiscal compass of today's US modern society has lost nearly all bearing. Irresponsible consumers driven by materialistic image continues unabated on its cancerous path. It took 8 years of incredible sacrifice to develop my small business (proprietary futures trading fund) into the structure it is today. I came from absolutely nothing 8 yrs ago @ age 23, to genuinely making something of myself. My wife was thoroughly ecstatic with her 1.0 solitaire that I spent $5700 on last year, which equates to roughly 1-day of gross take home pay. Yet we were both quite hesitant spending such an amount on a piece of jewelry. It is our incredible love and care for each-other that matters and what represents our long-term commitment, not some precious stone siphoned off a South African coastal sea-bed, perched upon $150 (raw) worth of precious metal. If a women is worth your time, she will encourage you to save and spend well within your means. Learning to save is the only way to earn freedom from the jaws of debt and accrue true fiscal wealth. For the average American with a median take-home income of ~$33k, recommending 2 months of pay is absolutely asinine. Such an income level can barely meet today's living costs at the end of the year. But hey, who needs to save for your children/retirement/later-life necessities when today you can buy Ipod after Iphone on your maxed out credit card and student loans. $850 billion in revolving debt (98.2% which is from cc plastic) spells out the picture quite clearly. Keep up this attitude with both public and private spending and this great nation will be a goner.
Fonze
Wed, Aug.11th 2010
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For those who can't afford what they want, or what their gf wants, instead of looking at cubic zirconium, check out lab created diamonds. Lab created diamonds are real diamonds, just man-made as opposed to CZ which is a different compound all together. A lab diamond can not be differentiated by a jewler even with a loupe (type of magnifying glass). Other methods using fiber optics or UV radiation can "expose" the fake diamond, but unless you are getting it appraised, no one will ever be able to tell. Not only that, but lab diamonds don't support violence in Africa and strip mines. They aren't available in most jewlrey stores, so you best bet is to buy online, and then pick out a band locally with a jewler. Oh, and I would suggest you ask to lady what she thinks about man made 1st. And don't lie, if it ever came out, women can be touching about things like engagement rings.
Lia
Wed, Aug.4th 2010
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I think spending 2 months salary on a ring is rediculous. My ring cost less than 1 month salary and its gorgeous!
Sept2010Bride
Wed, Aug.4th 2010
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look, I'm a woman, and my FI makes around 90K a year... and if he even spent one month's salary on a ring, I would beat him in is head! (not literally) A ring is a lovely thing, and mine is beautiful and I get lots of compliments, but unless you own your home outright, have no debt and are set for retirement and children's college funds, I would suggest that one's financial priorities should be elsewhere. If you are marrying the type of woman who demands large, expensive and extravagent diamonds, I would suggest that you think long and hard about how those traits are going to manifest themselves in your marriage for the rest of your life.
Steve A
Wed, Aug.4th 2010
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I just paid 2k GBP on a diamond ring four years after we have been married for our anniversary this year. If I stuck to the three months salary idea it would have been 11k , although technically this isn't an engagement ring. Whilst my wife is beautiful and means a great deal to me, I don't think I would ever be insane enough to spend that much on a very small material possession. We have other things we need to work on to improve our quality of life, our family home for one. When we got engaged our rings were less than £200 each, but we were still happy, I don't think it should matter how much you spend, the sentiment is the same. I'm only doing this now as a nice surprise.
Norma
Mon, Aug.2nd 2010
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I have been reading this article with great interest and would like to add my two cents worth. If a couple want to get married and he does not have the money to purchase a solitaire diamond engagement ring due to diamond costs and rising gold costs, here are some options: 1. Many times, you can find a nice diamond wedding band that is really pretty. It may have at least one carat of diamonds, but because the diamonds are in smaller chips, you can get a much better deal. 2. If your fiance is not into diamonds, you could focus on an artistic wedding band - maybe gold or titanium with a unique design. These are usually not expensive at all. If you're both artistic, you could pick out matching bands that are expressive of your personalities. Don't let whether or not you can afford a "big ring" put a damper on your love....make this event something you work at together....creatively. 3. If all else fails, buy a nice CZ set in real gold or sterling silver; however, don't buy one so large that it will leave people "scratching their heads" as to how you afforded the ring. Then, maybe later, if you both still want a diamond, you can buy one within your budget. Right now, there are some really nice, modern and even artsy wedding bands out there that are contemporary and most importantly, AFFORDABLE. Word of caution to the grooms: A woman who truly LOVES you will not expect you to spend beyond your means and go into debt just to give her a huge diamond. Buy what you can afford, be creative, and most importantly, do not get yourselves head over heels in debt. That will place more strain on marriage than anything. Remember, this is about love, not material possessions.
Richard
Thu, Jul.1st 2010
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I've been an attorney working in private bank trust departments for almost 20 years. I've seen how people with money acquired it and how they retained it. They are smart enough to know that you can never acquire money by spending it. They would sooner die than go into debt to buy consumer goods. They'll go into debt but only to purchase property likely to appreciate. These are the people who, instead of buying iphone after iphone and ipad after ipad, bought the stock of Apple when it was selling for about $7 early in 2003. Today, July 1, 2010, it sells around $260. People with money don't care about consumer goods, cars, big-screen TV's or anything else that the masses "must have". They know all this stuff is junk and that to buy it simply wastes money better deployed otherwise. In short, people with money got and kept it not by buying things but by buying the stocks of companies that sell things to other people...you for example. I'll leave you with this unsettling thought. Suppose you'd had $15,000 in October 1980 and that you'd been of a mind to "invest it". You might have been lured to purchase jewelry, say a diamond ring, on the utterly untrue but long spread lie that diamonds are rare. Any jewelry store would have been happy to lure you in with a lot of special lighting over plush counters served by shills who are trained in how to try to induce you to put reason on hold and think romantically about how happy you would be if only you had a $15,000 diamond ring. They'd tell you it would be "AN INVESTMENT". God help you if you fell for the scam. The ring you'd have bought on Friday, October 10th, 1980 for $15,000 would have been worth about $3,000 on Saturday, October 11th if you'd tried to sell it. It might not be worth even that today. On Friday, October 10th, 1980, stock of Johnson & Johnson traded around $83 per share; you could have bought 180 shares for $15,000. That investment, a REAL INVSTMENT, would today, July 1, 2010, be worth over $500,000. After 48:1 stock splits, you would have over 8,600 shares of Johnson & Johnson paying annual cash dividends of almost $19,000. You can be young in this country and be without money but this is no country in which to be old and without money. If you have no money you have no power. If you want to end up parking cars for a high school kid who owns a parking lot, keep doing what you've been doing. Keep buying "diamond rings". If you want to have some say about where and how you live and on what terms, leave the consumer good on the shelves and buy the stocks of companies that sell things to other people. Just make sure you're not the "other person".. Good luck.
claire
Mon, Jun.21st 2010
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i agree a man has to know his GF well enough to know what she'd prefer. There is nothing wrong with spending less than 1 week's worth salary or 4 month's worth of salary as long as it's what she wants and you are happy with it. Some people spend 50buck on a handbag while others 5k. bottom line- you have to know what she likes and hopefully by the time you propose you have a pretty good idea!
Steve
Sun, Jun.13th 2010
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Anybody who decides how much ring to buy based on something as stupid as "2 months salary" is just begging to be screwed, and probably on much more than just the ring over the years. Get an idea what your girl likes (example: mine *hated* the idea of a diamond being the main stone). Then - I know it's a crazy idea, but *decide for yourself* how much you feel comfortable spending and can pay off without spending your life savings or going into bankruptcy. If you make enough that you're comfortable with $20,000, fine. If you work part time at a coffee shop and only feel comfortable with a couple of hundred, then find something pretty in that price range and get it. Remember it's the symbolism that counts, not the price - many cultures don't even bother with gemstone rings.
REM
Wed, Jun.9th 2010
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I think it all comes down to personal choice. If people wish to spend the money of 2-3months salary on a ring then so be it. If you choose not too thats totally fine also. As long as both parties involved are happy (which you should be, you're engaged!!)then thats all that matters.
Trep
Mon, May.17th 2010
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Buy a quality cut CZ for the same carat weight at a fraction of the price. In fact, you could afford a much larger CZ stone. She can still impress her friends, and the ring would scare away would-be challengers to your claim :)
Jeanne
Wed, May.12th 2010
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My husband and I eloped 8 years ago. No engagement ring, and I used a ring I had to get married with. We did buy a ring/wedding band for my husband, since he didn't have anything. We saved money on rings and a big wedding and were able to put money down to buy our first home. I understand a lot of women are a hell of a lot more into jewelry than I am, but it always turned my stomach when women would announce they were engaged and everybody (I mean, other women) grabs their hand to check out the ring, as if it's some symbol of how much he loves you or something. The bigger the ring, the more he must love you, right? Ick.
Locke
Sat, May.8th 2010
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People think cost and value are the same. A piece of string around her finger is the same if it has the same meaning behind it.
katie
Sun, May.2nd 2010
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why the hell does any man have to ever spend a penny on any woman to make engagement/marriage official? what century are we living in? there oughtn't be any need, in a loving relationship, to prove one's love for another through material objects. the only value in a diamond is that created by genius marketers...somehow, millions have yet to clue in to that fact. wake up folks!
Lats
Thu, Apr.29th 2010
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Two months is about 16.7% of your annual salary. Don't we tip a higher percentage to some stranger that serves us food at the restaurant around the corner? Sometimes we don't even like the service and we still give them 15%. Don't you think your future wife deserves the same, if not better? I'm throwing in my $0.02 so I hope it helps.
Laughing at all of you
Wed, Apr.28th 2010
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LOL, you're all sheep...
yc
Fri, Apr.23rd 2010
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hi paul: i think you should get a better ring for her. 20 years of marriage and being a good mother and wife is hard. She probably sacrificed her career for you. What is 70K for you if it is really a two months of your wage -- ? ? trip around the world..... a few nice meal with good wine. She is your love of your life and will spend the rest of her life with you. But of course, if you have a lot of other compulsory expenditure then it would be different.
paul
Thu, Apr.22nd 2010
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So I bought my wife a nice 2 carat wedding ring in the 1990s. She still receives compliments. The center stone is really nice. So now we are coming up on 20th anniv. and she wants an upgrade to platinum bigger diamond, etc. Two months worth of salary? That would be a $70k ring. She is really great and I love her, but there has to be a limit. My original ring will be fine with me forever. Plus, she can be so oblivious, it would probably get taken at gunpoint by some thug. Maybe I should use two months worth of her salary. Yes! That's what I'll do, I'll even go 2 1/2 months.
Lee
Mon, Apr.19th 2010
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two months salary is fine, but is it two months gross or net pay?
yc
Mon, Mar.29th 2010
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I think it all depends on your taste, how much emphasis you put on it and your budget. Economically, a better quality diamond with better setting may depreciate less in value and vice versa consider almost all rings drop down in value as soon as it walks out of the shop. Then you got to love the ring and feel comfortable with it. There is no use of buying a nice diamond when the girl has no appreciation of the rinh. However if your financee wants a two carat ring and you only get her a 0.1 carat one, thing may not go down very well. After all she is the one who got to wear it and everyone will be looking! For myself, my fiancee spent two years wage on mine ring (he was a student then). But very soon after the engagemnent, we shared the same bank account and I make ten times more than him! So effectively I paid for my own ring. I only hope I got a bigger one now. -- just kidding, the ring was a surprise and I love it.
j
Fri, Mar.26th 2010
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I think that the 2-3 month rule is actually pretty good. My bf is not that good with money and it would take him some time to save that up and all the while he would be considering if it was the right choice. It is a good indicator of how commited he is to the relationship. I am trying to do the same on my part, save up 2-3 months pay for him. Even if you don't actually spend that much on a ring, I think that saving that money up for the other person is a good idea.
La Vie Boheme
Fri, Mar.26th 2010
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The more you spend on a ring, the less you can spend on a house, a family, and your future lives together. I would be ecstatic to get a ring from a gumball machine, if it was given to me by the man I love. If you're really about spending the rest of your lives together, the cost of the ring won't matter one whit. Besides, I wouldn't want the pressure of constantly carrying a $7,500 piece of jewelry with me. Talk about a mugging target!
jakehalsted
Tue, Mar.16th 2010
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Here's the thing. I'm already "engaged" we used a string. Now, I'm going to cheat on her anyway, why would I spend money on a diamond? I'm only engaged to get some better sex in the short term... and I'll tell ya, since we did the engagement thing, it's gone from the "last dance with marry jane" to some seriously hot stuff. But i'll be damned if I'm gonna pay money for sex
Vandrew82
Tue, Mar.16th 2010
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@johnny first of all who are you to judge how resposible or smart someone is by how much monet they can save? You are a moron! Just because someone can't save 10k doesn't mean they shouldn't get married or have kids. You sound like you were born with a silver spoon in your ass. If you truly be that wearing a ring less than 10k will effect your profffesional or social life then you are a retard. Oh and I wouldn't assume you will be making twice as much money in ten years you could lose your job tomorrow and then what? Now your wife is wearing a 10k ring and you standing in unemployment line waiting for your check.
Happily Married
Sat, Mar.6th 2010
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I don't think anyone should be asking how much to spend on a ring. If you are ready to pop the question, then I am hoping that you do know your GF inside out, so therefore you should already know if she is the type that wants a 10k plus ring or happy with a 1k ring.It is not fair to say that a girl is a gold digger if she wants a 10k plus ring, because everyone's/everywhere standards ARE different. Average house in Pittsburgh cost $125K while average house in NYC cost $750,000. And competitive people will always want a little more in life(anything in life)than their peers while others who are free-spirited can care less if the ring was from a crackerjackbox. You should already know what type of person she is by her usual habits. Soo if you did buy an engagement ring and she seems quite upset with the size whether it's way too expensive or not expensive enough, I think it's time to re-evaluate how much you really know her. My husband is a very smart man; had me picked my own ring because he knows Im a picky lady and do not like surprises. 99% of all engaged brides are usually very happy, because the groom-to-be knows her well enough to make the right decision. Fact: A jeweler had once told me(6yrs ago though)that the average engagement ring sold was 8-9k(this is in NYC)
WI
Thu, Mar.4th 2010
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I'm recently engaged and my fiancee went into debt for my ring - it is the ring of my dreams and I am ecstatic that he gave it to me, but it does carry a burden of guilt with it, especially since we are paying for our wedding ourselves (and I wish we had the money that was spent on the ring, but I'm not willing to give it up!) My ring is a high quality 3/4 karat Asscher on a custom band. I LOVE my ring. But I do think that some women AND men, even some friends, can be extremely condescending - they view it as a measure of status and economics. I've had people tell me, "Oh, it's small!" or the evasive "It's very you." Just realize that purchasing the engagement ring is the first step to a lot of other, and much bigger, financial commitments (wedding, honeymoon, house, children, etc.) Keep everything in perspective. Rings can be upgraded when you're able to afford it and IF your wife wants to trade in your token of love.
William
Thu, Mar.4th 2010
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Make over a 6 figures, been married for 5 years, only spent $1,000 total including wedding bands, if you're both happy that is all that manners, similarly, make sure she signs a pre-nub.
Drew
Thu, Feb.25th 2010
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Hey look, I think the 'two-month rule' isn't really that helpful. It's really a marketing message smartly crafted by the diamond purveyors at DeBeers. Is it helpful? Maybe. Does it set an expectation? Sure. Here's Long's take on the Two Month Rule... http://www.longsjewelers.com/why-the-two-month-rule-is-bunk
Roger
Fri, Feb.19th 2010
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Good lord we men are gullible, and you women are pathetic. And when I say men I'm not referring you Johnny.
sam
Thu, Feb.18th 2010
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It's a symbol of love and a promise to be married to the one you love. Besides, once you add the wedding band, your finger will end up being worth a lot more ! I for one find huge rings tacky. I see a woman on a bus with a huge ring and I automatically think it is fake. And I would be scared to death to lose or damage a ring that is worth a crazy amount of money. My ring is beautiful and tasteful and suits me so well. And by the time we buy the wedding band, it's enough bling for my taste. One day down the road in our 100 years of marriage together, I will get more rings and more jewellery. But really, that idea means more to me because I can pass all that jewellery down to my children and their children, etc. I'm a romantic. I love you HONEY !
Jane3
Fri, Feb.12th 2010
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What Jen said is exactly right. If you love her, find out what is important to her. Now, if all she cares about is having the biggest ring ever, well that's the woman you are asking to be your wife, might as well get used to it now or run for the hills. RIGHT ring for YOUR GIRL is what matters. That and putting some heart and thought into it. For me, for example, I want an eco-friendly ring. I fell in love with one that was $6500, but at another time I fell in love with a different ring that was $360. Which one would be the right choice would depend on the relationship and the circumstances at the time. Sure, you don't need to spend a fortune, however, if you spent more one videogames last year, then you need to prioritize the proposal a bit more. Unless your woman really doesn't like jewelry or something. The THOUGHT and HEART that goes into it counts. Making it special and hopefully lasting counts. Making it personal counts. The price tag does matter, in terms of not being a total cheapskate, however you and your girl would see that, but the other stuff matters more. I'd rather have a stone and setting picked especially according to my tastes and what I love in jewelry, that cost $1,000 than a boring solitare which cost ten times as much! Personalize it guys, you should find out hat she likes, this is part of marriage, knowing your partner.
Alyssa=)
Tue, Feb.9th 2010
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It's the thought that counts=) You don't need expensive jewelry to be happy!!!
kim
Mon, Feb.8th 2010
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ok. Just for the fun of it, I have read each and every one of these posts.It is really amazing to me that whatever we are not as people we are quick to condemn in those who possess the quality we lack. If you are ugly, you think pretty people are vain. If we are poor, we think rich people waste their money. If we don't have enough money to buy a decent ring, we condemn women who think they deserve a decent ring. Sadly ridiculous. Everyone says, "she should love you for you...she should not need an expensive ring" OMG, grow up. Can each of you men who profess undying love for your wife say that you chose her for what's on the inside?To follow your logic, shouldn't you love her just as much even if she is ugly? 300pounds? I think not. You want to be proud of the way your wife looks. Then allow her to want to be proud of a diamond she is wearing and don't embarrass her with a chip. Just a bit of quid pro quo
@Johnny
Wed, Feb.3rd 2010
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Seriously? In DC? $70K doesn't go so far there, pal. Class acts are people who could easily afford to live in luxury and may do so, but don't flaunt it around. As far as an engagement ring making or breaking your professional life, you're completely full of it. Your education and work performance can make or break your professional life. As far as your social life, if you get snubbed by people on account of your ring, they are the wrong set anyway. Good riddance. People who do not want to spend 10K on a ring are quite often better parents than you and your wife will ever be. Mine didn't spend 1/10th of that. They raised a son who is on the faculty of a very prestigious Southern Ivy engineering school. So you and your honey go make your babies, raise them, see what they turn out to be, and then tell me whether you have earned the right to reproduce.
@Johnny (By JGJJ)
Sat, Jan.30th 2010
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Ok.... Johny, you are D-Bag! I work hard for the little I make, and I didn't have a family to pay my way through college. However, I am smart (IQ and common sense), hard working, and responsible with my money... but to think that love and money have any equal footing and that money reflects the amount of love I have is ignorant to say the least. Should you feel like you need to spend a dollar amount to prove your love, that's a problem you need to deal with, either from your insecurities, media-conditioning that life is about money, or your partner. (And I can tell I will raise my children with much more moral grounding and common sense than you ever could. Your comment about getting married and having kids is ignorant of what true love is.) I KNOW I don't need to prove my love to my lady with a dollar amount because she desires me for who I am, not the dollar signs. Anyone who is TRULY thinking that they found the one that they are willing to spend their entire lives with will know that its not about the ring but what it represents. Yes, I would like to buy my love a nice ring, but that's just my pride. Don't let the world, media, and what everyone else thinks get to you. Embrace LOVE! You can always get more money, but there can only ever be one "the ONE"!
Linda
Wed, Jan.27th 2010
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First of all, why does anyone need a ring? My commitment is stronger with my boyfriend than anyone's because we are together because we are committed --- not because we have a piece of paper, or a ring, or a house or a child ---- we are together because we love each other. And if the love dies, then we split . . . simple but an authentic way to live. BTW, he did just buy me a ring "so men know you are taken" . . . not sure that I like that idea . . . I don't need a ring
Nate
Sun, Jan.24th 2010
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After reading all these comments, I'm officially never getting married.
TKLBH
Fri, Jan.22nd 2010
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As a recently married woman, I thought I’d weigh in on this discussion. First off, I’m curious about the numbers that are being tossed around here. I’ve heard 2- even three months’ income is the “traditional” amount a man “should” spend on an engagement ring. Second, what a diamond ring “is worth” (ie appraised at) is often drastically different (read: higher) than the cost itself. For example, if you go to a mall jewelry store and buy a diamond and a setting, the jeweler may charge you $4000 but hand you an appraisal saying your ring is worth $10000. Even if you go and get an independent certification (which you should do—so you can get insurance, which you should also do!), the valuation of your ring will likely be much higher than you’ve paid for it. The long and short of my comment is that if a woman tells you she’s wearing a $12k ring, it may have actually only cost $8k. Or $4k. So, you, for those that are feeling nauseous thinking about spending 2 months of gross income on the ring, why don’t you interpret it as getting a ring “worth” 2 months salary? For what it’s worth, my husband did spend the “suggested” amount on my ring, and I wanted to kill him. I’d rather have had him spend the money on a car for me. Or a down payment on a house. However, I know many women that disagree.
Von Del'Rossi
Tue, Jan.19th 2010
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Ok first of all im going to say it clear with out holding my tongue any woman who looks down on a guy for not blowing his mortgage to buy a ring is shallow as hell. an needs to think over their life. What ever happened to real love values and being together forever. a ring should not indicate the amount of love your husband has for you. Simply put if he wants to spend that much its all well and fine but he should not feel obligated to do so because u want to be a spoil bitch no chick is pure royalty and you already know damn well you wouldnt go drop that much money on something he wants. An if you say u do ur a damn lie. Ppl need to learn from the past an reread into what marriage an relationships truly are. Its not a salary or a Check it is bondage of 2 souls that have decided to truly be together for the rest of there lives. Go for Quality though gentlemen ur wife doesnt want to stare at a piece of shit all their life... but u dont have to over do it
Caroline
Thu, Jan.14th 2010
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WOW. I can't belive comments I am reading here from other girls... I am going to smack silly my man if I ever find out he spent even a full week's income on a freaking piece of rock to propose. He's a dentist so obviously he makes a lot of money... I like jewelery, don't get me wrong, I am a girl and I like shiny things too. But I am not a superficial princess. What matters to me is that this man truly loves me. What use do I have for a 10 000$ ring if the love of my life dies tomorrow?! Seriously girls... get real. Love is NOT about a ring and the size of the diamond on top of it. This two month income "rule" is stupid.
@ Johnny
Thu, Jan.14th 2010
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Wow, sounds like your wanting to raise your kids around money and make them spoiled little brats. I make quite a bit of money and could easily afford a >10k ring, but my wife and I spent 800$ on hers, and I dont wear the husband version. We both drive 1998 minivans, one with 280k and the other 160k. Why do we do this, because we want to teach our kids the value of money and that love can not be bought & sold. Money will not make you happy, love will. We would not hang around people who would shun us because she wears a 800$ ring. If your social circle revolves around what kind of ring you wear, I think you are hanging around the wrong people. And I would be shocked if a legitimate employer would devalue your services because of the size of ring you wear.
Jeff
Wed, Jan.13th 2010
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Hey BIGMACK, throwing money at a chick is not the way to make a girl love you... it's the way to make a girl love your wallet. That will lead to nothing but heartache. Is that what you really want? Try tellin the girl how you feel.
Jeff
Wed, Jan.13th 2010
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Wow, what a piece of garbage you are Johnny12.
@Johnny12
Wed, Jan.13th 2010
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So if you can't afford to spend $10,000 on a piece of jewelry then you shouldn't be allowed to have a family? People like you who judge others based on their bank accounts are a waste of life.
johnny12
Wed, Jan.13th 2010
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What anyone considers excessive or too expensive is relative. My girlfriend and I are young professionals living in Washington D.C, and we both make about 70K per year. I make enough money now to afford a 10K ring, but I can further justify it by assuming that I'll be making twice as much money in ten years given that I'm a level 2 in my company and expect to receive regular promotions and raises. 10-15K for an engagement is pretty much the norm for anyone working in a competitive professional industry. I'd even say that buying or wearing a cheap ring (under 10k) would seriously cripple both your social and professional life. Conversely, if you are a blue collar worker making less than 50k, and have pretty much peaked in terms of earning potential, than a 10K ring would absolutely put you in permanent debt. The same is true for low level professional workers in mid-size cities. If you aren't willing or able to save 10K for a wedding ring, you probably shouldn't get married and definitely should not be having kids. If you aren't smart or responsible enough to save 10K, you definitely aren't serious enough to get married.
Tue, Jan.12th 2010
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How can a man be willing to spend 30,000 on a car he'll have for 15 years if he's lucky, but not spend 2 months salary for a wife that will have his children, be his partner? +++++ I bet he wouldn't spend 30,000 dollars on a car if there was a >50% chance the bank would take it back in a year along with half his other assets and earnings.
bkynchick
Mon, Jan.11th 2010
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How can a man be willing to spend 30,000 on a car he'll have for 15 years if he's lucky, but not spend 2 months salary for a wife that will have his children, be his partner?
BigMack
Sat, Jan.9th 2010
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I came here through a google search. I was searching to find out how much money I need to spend on jewelery to get a girl to love me. There are some girls in my life, but they are just friends to me at best. I heard that girls really really like diamonds. How much money do I need to spend to make a girl fall in love with me? I've tried "Being myself" and all that jazz but I've had no success so far. So, how much do I have to spend to let her see how much I care about her. Please realize this is a woman who probably doesn't even know I like her in the first place.
MN man 1
Sat, Jan.9th 2010
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MN man is a mongoloid, a straight up mongoloid!
MN Man
Fri, Jan.8th 2010
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Really? You all are retarded. Straight up retarded. And you gold digging women are ridiculous. Saying things like I would not be satisfied with a .5k ring worth 1k? Really? So you would be upset with your "loved" one for going out and expressing his love to you? Half of you are complete and utter hippocrits and contradict yourselves left and right. I bought my wife a immitation ring and and told her I wanted her to go out and pick out her own. When we went, she suggested this petite, .65 carat marquise cut solitaire with amazing clarity. I suggested something maybe a little bigger. But no, she refused. You know why? Because love isn't about how much money you spend on someone. It's about the memories you make together, the lives you are about to combine, and the commitment you vow to take. If you need an expensive rock on your finger to prove those things, then maybe you should re-evaluate your relationship. For all you men, take it from me, if you have a decent girl, she will love whatever you get her, as long as you put your heart and thought into it.
Tue, Jan.5th 2010
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to lish, absolutely, how could you live without a 35k ring? You need it to prove he loves you. Or is it just insecurity on your part?
lish
Tue, Jan.5th 2010
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when I got engaged or married with my husband, he didn't do well. my wedding band cost us about 150$ and I didn't ask for engagement ring either. I had very samll wedding party (compare to most of my firends) and I end up paying for it myself. We are married now for about 8 years, however now, my husband just graduated from Medical school and he is going to make around 200k a year. Now I am thinking to get an engagment ring which I always dream of. and I don't feel materialistic if I want to go for 35k ring.
to NYC
Mon, Jan.4th 2010
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NYC, I would gladly pay 15k for a ring, if my wife came with a dowry. But since both ideas are pretty much bunk these days, forget them both. Most guys today get a girl with no dowry, a load of credit cards, a family that cant pay for a wedding, and an american girl who has attitude, wants to buy everything she sees and starts gaining weight the day after she get married. I have a good girl, but if something were to ever happen, it would be tough going finding another decent american girl worth marrying who is not cracked out on all kinds of anti depress meds. They have just all priced themselves out of the market.
NYC
Fri, Jan.1st 2010
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These posts are interesting. There are a few things to consider when reading these opinions. Location is key. I am from NYC, as is my BF. Not only do rings cost more here (taxes), but we both work in industries where appearances unfortunately do matter. I by no means expect a 15k ring, but I also don't want a .5 carat ring that cost 1k. Men should understand that an engagement ring is very important to a woman. Any guy who thinks it is a "waste of money" should reevaluate their relationship. If you're not willing to spend a fairly decent amount of money to ask for a woman's hand in marriage, then you probably shouldn't get married, as life gets much more expensive as the years go by.
Ashley
Fri, Jan.1st 2010
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Ok so i know this might sound strange, but i have found the ring of my dreams, and it only cost about $500 if even that. I am not a high maintenance girl and i don't really ask for alot. All i want is a yellow stone, doesn't even have to be a diamond. So for the two month salary thing, i think it is a load of crap. I think a man should do the best he can with what he has to work with. Don't go into debt on a stupid ring!! Save the money to start a new life with your wife!!
Ridiculous
Wed, Dec.30th 2009
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Two months gross income? This may be difficult considering 30% of my check disappears before it hits my bank account. On top of that, I need to pay rent, which is 20% of my income. Food, 10%. Transportation, 10%. School loans, 12%. These are the minimum costs I incur in order to survive. Assuming I don't spend money on ANYTHING else, and that I remain healthy, and that I don't purchase any gifts for anyone (including gf or myself), I should be able to afford my "two months gross income" engagement ring in about 1 year, optimistically. Gf won't be happy to hear about this...
sally
Mon, Dec.28th 2009
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Your Comments im just apolled a girl i worked with got a kay jewler 900 ring and i think its ridiculous...i would never settle for that especially if they are buying a new luxury car...i dont know maybe im a snnob
ichabod
Mon, Dec.28th 2009
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If you're bothered by the cost of the engagement ring...wait until you find out how much the wedding/reception costs!
The Realist
Wed, Dec.23rd 2009
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I do see women posting that spending 7K - 12K is average. Reality dictates that if a blue collar worker is going to get a ring this is completely a fabrication. I know being a college graduate myself, I make 50K/ year, I certainly can't afford to pay $300 for a 3K ring with debt that is already accrued. If a woman can't accept financial limitations and that the ring is a symbol of your devotion, but see's the ring a status symbol THAT is the problem. I understand you should get her what she wants, but how about me I'd like a Hummer for X-mas...does that mean I should get it?
michael
Sat, Dec.19th 2009
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I've noticed all the women posting are pro giant ring and all the men posting are con giant ring ATTENTION MEN: DON'T GET MARRIED ITS ALL A SCAM Marriage may be ordained by christian churches but it is a man made invention, it was designed to keep track of property rights from one generation to the next. The concept of "living in sin" was started in the 1800's. DON'T GET MARRIED ITS NOT WORTH IT YOU GIVE UP EVERY RIGHT YOU HAVE Women embrace "liberation" when it is convenient. Such work outside the home, not being chained to the stove, not being a sex slave to the man and spending money whenever they want. What women don't want to shoulder is the responsibility of their liberation. All money issues becomes the man's fault even though the woman spends 3/4 of the money. Lack of sex becomes the man's fault even though the woman has completely let herself go physically and is nothing but a source of stress. Money and sex is what a couple fights over. The man will be blamed. DON'T GET MARRIED
Jane
Tue, Dec.15th 2009
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If you love your woman enough to be worthy of marrying her, you'll want to treat her like a queen, whatever that means to you. If she loves you enough to be worthy of marrying you, she'll be happy with anything you give her that's from the heart, even if it's straight out of a crackerjack box :)
Cara
Mon, Dec.14th 2009
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I leafed through this out of curiousity - i design and handmake beautiful engagement bands for people. i noticed that all the "shallow" accusations here are mostly leveled at women if they admit to wanting an expensive ring - but this article was written to answer men asking how much they should be spending for a ring. If you have to measure 2 months salary against spending a lifetime with someone, that is just weird. How much should you spend? it isn;t really about that. Of course your budget is important, and buying a ring is putting you way into debt, that doesn't sound like a good symbol of your future. At the same time there is a great deal of skill and craft that goes into making a fine ring so don't ignore that either. Here is something I have noticed after years of creating rings of all price ranges - you should both be happy, it is a symbol of your promise to each other. ask yourselves and ask these same questions of your partner - what aspects are important about the ring Should it be about money/ status? jewelry often is, since pretty much when people lived in caves. But is this important to you? if yes, that is ok!! want a diamond or not? Diamonds were not historically the most popular stone for engagement rings - it is true this was created by an advertising agency. They are still beautiful, just not the only choice out there. Sometimes other stones are just as expensive if rare. Jewelry has also since the beginning represented spiritual and internal sentiments such as love and faith, worn as amulets and talismans. Does this feel right to you? should it be handmade? does it suit your style of living, who you are right now and who you want to become in the future - should it be delicate, dainty, antique style or modern, will you be passing it on to another generation? there is a very special place where you invest some money, and more importantly some time and effort, and look for a ring that you really like. it's not that hard.
vic
Thu, Dec.10th 2009
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I'm kind of surprised by the men that aren't willing to spend a decent amount of money for an engagement ring. Perhaps this is because I'm from the east coast, but $7-$12k is pretty standard among the people I know. That being said, its not like an engagement ring is an impulse buy, so when you realize the woman you are dating might be the one, start a separate savings account just for a ring. This way you can let the money grow gradually, and when you spend it, you won't be eating ramen noodles for three months or something crazy like that. My ring is somewhere around 1.5 carats for the center round stone, the stone is gorgeous and the setting is one we both fell in love with that he had customed to make it just ours. Prob set him back about $10k, but he had it set aside and started saving around a year and a half into our 3 year relationship. Even if it was a cigar band, I'd be happy just because it means I'm all his, but the sparkling stones are incredible and neither of us regrets his purchase at all. By the way, he is a graduate student...not making lots of money by anyone's standards.
what
Sun, Dec.6th 2009
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If I was guarenteed the same quality/quantity sex and that she would not gain a ton of weight after marriage, I would gladly buy her a diamond worth two years salary. But, judging from what I have seen, woman like that are extremely rare.
Valerie
Fri, Dec.4th 2009
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Seriously the if the amount you spend on her ring is a problem for her then thats not really the problem!
Tue, Dec.1st 2009
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Oh yeah people, and the two month thing, please remember this is only a marketing ploy. If you are really dumb enough to do what the ad agency says you should then you deserve all you get. Just a girlFri, Feb.13th 2009 thank god my girlfriend is nothing like her, what a b1tch.
Sparts
Tue, Dec.1st 2009
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I get all nervous just reading stuff like this! Women (and men) need to wake up. At the end of the day we're talking about a chunk of useless metal and almost equally useless stone. Whoever managed to convince us that these are a thing of beauty because they are shiny or sparkle needs shot. Seriously. Ok, although it's tradition to buy a diamond and nice ring it is a total waste of money to spend two months of your salary (it would be over $15000 for me!). I'm lucky enough to have a girlfriend who would rather I spent less on a ring and instead took her away for a holiday or saved it. I'm not tight, as it happens we just returned from a $11,000 month long vacation (she is at college) but we couldn't have done that if I'd blown the money on a chunk of metal. So many females on this thread have said they'd be embarressed by a small diamond. That frankly is pathetic. Personally if I spent more than I thought appropriate on a ring I'd get mad everytime I saw it. Dont; force your partners to spend more than they are comfortable with ladies, it'll all end in tears. And guys, if they ain't happy with that then bin them. The thinker post on 19th Sept is spot on. "If you desire a diamond at all, you have been fooled...by DeBeers. You are not thinking for yourself. You are following the herd. Merchandising can be powerful and DeBeers takes the top award. No one in human history has ever been more successful in starting with nothing and creating intense desire in so many people. Before the founding of DeBeers in 1871, most women did not really desire diamonds. Now, particularly in the US, there are many unfortunate women who demand, under pain and penalty of severing the relationship, a diamond commensurate with the socio-economic station of the groom to be. It's not about practicality. It's about being duped. Gem diamond sales are declining, as more women embrace the truth. Diamonds purchased as gem stones are worthless. Hopefully, diamond prices will soon land where they should be...near zero. If you have a burning determination to flush $5k, $10, $20k, or more, maybe you should examinine your values to decide on a worthy charity."
Jen
Wed, Nov.18th 2009
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if you understand and respect your girlfriend, you should understand and respect her expectations when it comes to an engagement ring. Ask yourself "what does she want?" not "what is 'expected' of me by the dominant culture/master marketers. If she wants a big diamond. Go for it! she will likely see that you really mean it! Is she active and modest? maybe she would prefer a modest, eco-friendly ring!
Tiny
Mon, Nov.9th 2009
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Guys if you only were able to buy one car that you would have to drive your entire life would you want a honda or a mercedes. This is how you should think of the ring. This is hopefully the only engagement ring the woman will ever get so it should be the best you can afford.
marriedgrl
Sun, Nov.8th 2009
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When my husband and I got engaged I had always wanted the dream ring however at the time it wasn't feasable to spend 10k on a ring.My husband is military and had gone through a divorce and pays out a hefty chunk in child support.We had a discussion about it and we both agreed that we would chose a ring that he could pay cash for and upgrade later my ring ended up being 2,400 it is a beautiful ring I get complimented on it all the time so if I ever do upgrade I will pass the ring on to my son for when he gets engaged.We've been married over 5 years and in the end I say it is not "The Ring" or "The Wedding" it's the MARRIAGE.
Stupid
Sun, Oct.25th 2009
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This is STUPID... Don't put a standard on a special ocassion. As long as the ring is from the heart it shouldn't mattter. Also, Why does the engagement ring cost more than the wedding ring. I mean seriously... which one denotes the bigger step?
Budgeting2
Wed, Oct.21st 2009
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Now - what should your budget be? Well, answer some questions; Will you be paying for the ring upfront; If so, how much of your savings are you will to invest? Or will you be making monthly payments over time (financing it); In this case, what amount of payment/for how long can you make it? These questions might settle your budget for you. If you are lucky enough to be unlimited by these questions, then spend as much as you feel comfortable spending, understanding the traditional and social importance an engagement ring is meant to represent. Make no mistake - every woman wants a beautiful ring. But beautiful doesn't have to mean expensive. I agree with other posts recommending you should think about what kind of lady will be wearing it. The golden rule - Don't be cheap, but don't go nuts either.
Budgeting
Wed, Oct.21st 2009
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I'm not engaged (yet) but am curious about this topic. I think everyone forgets the point of this question is finances - not sentiments. As with any large purchase, be it a car, tv, or jewellery, it's important to establish what you can afford FIRST. Then, after doing your research on the item, buy the best you can for your budget based on how 1. much the item will be used (in this case everyday) and 2. how long you expect it to last (hopefully forever). But remember, establish your budget FIRST!
Mind in michigan
Tue, Oct.13th 2009
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um yea so ladies help me out here im confused. From what a majority of you say a ring is very important to you and some of you went so far as to say that its important that you can show people. I thought the ring was a symbol for unending love that should be there without anything else. I dont mind spending money if the girl gets what she really wants and isnt just looking for a price tag. Including 2 months salary and the "dream come true" wedding youre taking about a huge sum of money. Trust me i love my lady but id rather invest that money in us not in a ring or a single day. I could buy a house for what some of you say you spent on a ring. I hope as 'Picked mine today' realizes at the end of tyhe day its the man your saying yes to not the ring.
What Matters
Tue, Oct.13th 2009
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You just need to strike the right median. Get something your future wife will like as well as something you are comfortable with. Second... for gosh sakes go to a place that will let you exchange it for something else at anytime or that has a 60 day return period. At ShaneCo you can go in and as long as the diamond is $1 more than what you have you can exchange it at anytime for something else. And for all you people saying you earn so much but won't do the 2 months thing. If you can't afford 2 months salary and you aren't married yet.... sheesh, have fun with managing money afterwards. Although if you can afford it and have thought better about it great.
Michael
Mon, Oct.12th 2009
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My present girlfriend and, hopefully, future wife are both devout Catholics. We have discussed this and agreed that she will get a ring, but not one that costs two months of my salary. We both give money to charity (that's one of the things we find attractive about each other), and that would probably have to stop or be cut way back if I went and spent $15K on a rock... She has student loans she's still paying back, and I owe just over $100,000 on a home mortgage. We'll be paying for our wedding ourselves, too.
H
Sat, Sep.19th 2009
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when my now husband proposed to me he was an apprentice and my ring cost all of £695 and I loved it. I used take my jewellery off when washing up and one evening whilst we were in bed we were broken into and the beasts stole it. So when we eventually received our insurance money we went out to buy a new one. This one cost a little more than the first, £3750 to be precise. My little girl loved playing with it on my finger and I promised her that when she was a big girl I'd let her have it. The say lightening doesn't strike twice, well in my case it did. We were burgled again and this time they took everything. So the point of my story is, it doesn't matter what you spend on a ring, sentimental value is worth millions more and for goodness sakes make sure you have them individually insured.
Thinker
Sat, Sep.19th 2009
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If you desire a diamond at all, you have been fooled...by DeBeers. You are not thinking for yourself. You are following the herd. Merchandising can be powerful and DeBeers takes the top award. No one in human history has ever been more successful in starting with nothing and creating intense desire in so many people. Before the founding of DeBeers in 1871, most women did not really desire diamonds. Now, particularly in the US, there are many unfortunate women who demand, under pain and penalty of severing the relationship, a diamond commensurate with the socio-economic station of the groom to be. It's not about practicality. It's about being duped. Gem diamond sales are declining, as more women embrace the truth. Diamonds purchased as gem stones are worthless. Hopefully, diamond prices will soon land where they should be...near zero. If you have a burning determination to flush $5k, $10, $20k, or more, maybe you should examinine your values to decide on a worthy charity.
Diana
Mon, Sep.14th 2009
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Jenny Sun, Jun.28th 2009 Rating: P.S. Don't recycle a diamond either. Getting it cheap at your local flea market and then turning around and having it placed into a semi mount is not cool That is the most retarded thing i've ever read. Why are people SO materialistic? I think if my fiance did something like that, it would not only prove creativity, but it is more economic AND intelligent!! SOME women are WAY too hung up on sentimental ideals regarding an engagement ring. No matter how you look at it, it is a metal band with a stone setting. Your soul doesn't get sucked up into it, doesn't have evil or magical powers... it's an object.
Louis
Fri, Sep.11th 2009
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2 months salary??? This seems a bit much. I know it's a lasting peace of history showing my professed love for possible future wife but I really do think I should be doing something more useful with that money! Alot of posting people seemingly earn enough to have huge savings accounts and practically own diamond mines -don't know why you need to buy any- I don't, so by the time I'd saved 2 months salary to spend all at once on something to look at, we'd be about 80, and she'd have left me! Thnak god she doesn't like rings, has no idea what a carat is -nor do I- and we don't care we love each other not stones!
mb
Tue, Sep.8th 2009
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my man and i started talking about this stuff, we've been together close to two years, and living together for over a year. He owns a house a truck, has savings, no debt has a decent job. He said no way am I going to spend 2 months salary on a ring. It's just a ring. I agree for the most part, he is very practical, but I hope to get something that I'm happy to wear every day. I have little hands, so like .65-.8 carats with decent clarity is all I really hope for. I don't want or need a flashy huge rock. I just hope I don't end up with something toooo practical if you know what I mean, LOL...
Ms. Ella
Mon, Aug.17th 2009
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This has been very informative... My boyfriend (soon to be fiance) and I recently discussed this. I have seen too many marriages that start off with the fly ring, the grand wedding, the extravagent house that end up in divorce less than a year later. I want us to be comfortable AND I want a nice piece of jewelry that I adore. I prefer that we are able to live comfortably for years to come rather than spend money on an expensive ring only to eat Ramen off of paper plates for the next 3 years...as such..we have decided to go the Moissanite route. Before you say it's a 'fake diamond' Moissanite is not!! It's it's own stone. Yes it is comparable to a diamond in most of the areas that count cut, clarity, color etc but the cost is significantly less. I can get a beautiful stone, a gorgeous setting and be happy with the man that I love for less than $1000.00. I know that to some girls "nothing but a diamond will do" but that's just not me. Take a look into what matters to you and decide accordingly!!
Mayflower Mama
Thu, Aug.13th 2009
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Reading this as an old and very wealthy woman who has one well off young son soon to get engaged. I am confident that he has made a wonderful choice in that she is too intelligent and classy to be hinting for a large, vulgar diamond--she loves him and all can see she would be happy with the Cracker Jack ring--she wants him not his money. So I am happy to go to the family vault and give him the family stone -- a very fine rock that has been in our family for over generations -- to surprise her with. Men, your sweetheart should be thrilled with whatever you give her, if she truly loves you. If she fusses over the ring, pitch her back and choose another more worthy bride.
Barcers
Tue, Aug.11th 2009
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I would never forgive myself if my furture wife had her finger cut off to extract a diamond ring. $5 maximum or from a cracker at Christmas I reckon should do the job.
Anna
Tue, Aug.11th 2009
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At the risk of sounding extremely shallow and materialistic, I want the ring that I want that I will feel proud wearing. To some it might be enormous, but to me and considering my job, my age, and my lifestyle, it's appropriate. My fiance's finances are not the best right now considering his divorce and he does not have the money for the ring that I want, nor do I want him to go into debt. We explored three options - no ring, a ring from my mom, or the third, which is what we are doing. No ring was not acceptable. Shallow, I know. Whatever, flame away, I don't care. The ring for my mom was ok, but not what I wanted. She is a widow and my father did well and her ring is ENORMOUS and totally inappropriate. Ok as a temporary ring, but not something I would wear every day. The last option seemed the most practical and equitable if not a bit cheesy. I gave my ring from my first marriage to my fiance, showed him what I wanted, and told him to upgrade the stone and get a new setting for me. I know that it would hurt my ex's feelings, but seriously what I am I going to do with a beautiful ring sitting in a drawer. I consider it to be a contribution, even an investment, in my future that makes us both happy.
In the market
Mon, Aug.3rd 2009
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As a woman, I think the 2 months rule is rather dependant upon your situation. If you are deep in debt, know you will be fronting all wedding costs yourself, still in school, alimony payments, etc I would think that any womany worthy of proposing too would mentally take that into account in the whole engagement ring scene. Also some people make a lot more a month, and 2 months is extremely high to spend in my situation. My boyfriend is in that category for gross or net, and I certainly do not want him to spend that much on the ring. We are planning to look at rings so he knows what I like for settings, and he can make the decision on the diamond. I think that is very smart, because then I will for sure love the ring if I got to show him exact settings I liked! The setting does not dictate the cost, so he can still determine what diamond fits his budget and what he is willing to spend. I liked the post that said the amount varies, but should take a financial hit on the guy...it shouldn't be an easy purchase to make, and should require some thinking and planning on his part to save and pay for it. It is a big decision, both financially and emotionally so taking extra time to save up is a good thing!
Steve
Fri, Jul.31st 2009
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If you're fiance needs a big diamond ring, then for god sake's don't marry her! Find a nice girl that is not material. Otherwise it will probably just end in divorce anyway. My wife picked out a $900 dollar ring which she really liked, even though between us we earn about $180,000 per year. We are happy.
Courtney Lawrie
Tue, Jul.28th 2009
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You of course should never go into debt for a ring, it is something that you should save up for. Most women dream of a one carat diamond ring, it's not overly expensive, a fine size, anything larger than that looks fake anyways. You can get a stunningly beautiful ring for less than $5000, any more is just ridiculous. You don't want the diamond to be too small though, because it will be very disappointing to her, regardless of how excited she is to be proposed to.
please god noooo
Fri, Jul.24th 2009
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i just woke up and this was the page that was left on the laptop when my boyfriend left for work. i don't want a ring. a $20 ring or a $10,000 ring. i'm terrified that he was even looking at this.
Picked Mine Today
Thu, Jul.23rd 2009
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Listen, the bottom line is this... I don't care how much the ring costs. I care that my fiance knows that it is something I've been dreaming about since I was six, and wants to see me happy. Basically, I want to see that he really wants me to have something I will love and cherish. That said, if I'm a selfish, spoiled brat who can't keep in perspective that as a couple we have other financial obligations and burdens and think my "dream ring" is more important than say a down payment on a house, then I don't deserve a guy like that now do I? When my fiancee first started asking me about what kind of ring I would like I pointed him in the direction of something very specific (which I thought was safely in his budget) and told him that I loved it, but that I would be happy with anything of a similar style and didn't want him to break the bank on a piece of jewelry. At the end of the day, I'm far more excited about the man I'm getting than the ring I'm getting.
Bob
Wed, Jul.15th 2009
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This has turned into a forum so anonymous people can boast/lie about how much money their husband makes. Good for you. You truly are living the "Woman American Dream" - staying at home tending to your crotch fruit, shopping, and telling everyone how your husband spent two months salary - which equals exactly $XX,XXXX.XX - on your engagement ring. I am thankful my wife isn't so pathetically shallow.
A
Thu, Jul.9th 2009
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i was given a ring with the smallest diamond I have ever seen. It reminds me of a diamond that some people place in their nose. I didnt even know you can buy such a small diamond ring. It probably cost around $100, $200 at most. Good thing it bruised my finger...at least i have a reason not to wear it. You should see how shocked I was when I was given that ring. My childhood maid's ring is bigger than that. What hurts is that he is earning more than $5K a month and he could have easily bought me the ring I loved which is less than $4K. I just dont understand why and it hurts me everytime i see the ring. I'll probably "lose" it one day just because I hate it that much and I cant bear the embarassment of letting everyone know what he gave me for an engagement ring
Wed, Jul.8th 2009
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don't buy diamond n dont support that industry coz it's full of guilt.
Felicia
Sun, Jun.28th 2009
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Oh boy...well Melissa and girl just a girl...My man drives a $75,000.00 sports car and I drive a mini van. I'm low maintenance and never buy for myself. So yep, I expect a nice ring. Not a huge cost for it, but let me choose it and don't put up a stink about the price because we are after all paying $1,500.00 in a sports car payment a month. So I agree with you ladies, it does make a man look bad if Im sportin' a inexpensive ring and he is rockin' a nice car. Men...don't embarrass yourself. You'll understand when she walks in some place and some complete stranger says' "Oh my God, your ring is gorgeous!" You'll get aroused at the pride you feel and your woman will thank you for it later.
Kalie
Sun, Jun.28th 2009
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Okay, so we struck a nerve about how much you should spend on a ring. I can only speak for myself...since I was little I dreamt about my wedding day. The perfect man, the perfect dress, the perfect cake, the perfect ceremony and yes, the perfect ring. This does not mean you need to spend a load of money, but it does complete the "dream come true." Why should you be so offended CJB because as a woman maybe she wants just one thing that she can look at every day and gasp at the beauty of it. You are exactly the type of man I'm glad I didn't end up with...cheap. Just remember that $20.00 band when you want to upgrade your flat screen tv.
Jenny
Sun, Jun.28th 2009
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P.S. Don't recycle a diamond either. Getting it cheap at your local flea market and then turning around and having it placed into a semi mount is not cool. Call it superstition but there's a reason that person no longer is wearing it so why do you want us to? Besides, that's being cheap and someday she'll run across the papers and you will embarrass yourself. Unless it's an heirloom that she already approves of, don't go there.
Jenny
Sun, Jun.28th 2009
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Trust me...I'd rather spend my two months salary and buy the ring of my dreams instead of having to settle for the wrong ring. My ring cost $9,000.00 I can't stand it, I don't wear it 90% of the time. I guess if you are going to spend the money, take her to pick it out. You will be surprised at what she chooses because the ring I had hoped to have was only $3,500.00. Now we are looking at spending even more money once we marry to have it set in a guard/wrap or to have it reset. Very bad investment. You may think I'm selfish but if you have dreamed of owning a Corvette since you were a child and I surprised you with a Brand New Mustang...oops, now you're obligated to drive it and love it cuz It will totally hurt my feelings otherwise. (Not to mention I'll think you are a selfish brat.) Then I'll say things like, "doesn't it matter that I liked it or that I picked it out or that you didn't have a nice car in the first place and now you do???" Hmmm...starting to sound familiar? Guys, just take her and save some money. Tell her to pick out three and you decide later when she's not around...just make sure she doesn't see the price. My guy bragged about how much mine was and even showed me the appraisal papers but I just wanted to say to him "You really shouldn't have."
Heirloom
Tue, Jun.23rd 2009
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I have been married for just under two years and up until a month ago when my husband and I bought a home, my engagement ring and wedding band were the most expensive items we both owned. I love my engagement ring, not because of how much it cost, but because I know that my husband worked very very hard to save up enough money to give it me. When we found it I fell in love with it immediately, but we realized it was just too expensive. I walked away without a second thought, knowing that we could not aford it. When he proposed 6 mos later he was so proud to be able to put that ring on my finger. I would have been proud to wear any ring that he could afford, but the fact that he sacrificed and worked so hard to give me the ring he knew I loved is what makes it so much more special. I will proudly wear these rings all my life and they will passed on to my children. Women are not as shallow as you think. We do like a pretty ring, but no matter how big or small the ring ends up being we are not ignorant to the personal sacrifices you made to give it to us. This sign of your commitment is what we are looking for. Don't be cheap just because all you see is a material object. It is truly not just about a big shiny rock.
buymearingbiotch
Sun, Jun.21st 2009
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2 months salary..is that gross or net? Gross would be $16K and net would be $11K..either way that is insane. I will consider spending between $5-7K and thats it. I figure if you are going to do it go middle of the road...not too cheap and not insanely expensive but then again its all relative.
A woman's perspective
Wed, Jun.17th 2009
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As a bride-to be, I am a bit offended that the article (and many of those who left comments) assume all women care how much you spend on the ring. Personally, I did not want a ring at all but my mother gave me the diamond my late father had given her. My fiance spent all of $600 to have it re-set. And that included the jeweler setting my father's birth stone in the old ring in memory of him. Two months salary? No. The best ring I could ever have wanted? Yes. The sentimental value is what counts for me and I am sure many other women feel the same way.
I'm ready, yet not...
Sun, Jun.14th 2009
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Sooo I'm ready to start looking at rings...I know she is the one. But I have credit card debt that I NEED to pay down and I know I want to go back to school to get my Master's. We've already talked about moving in together within a year. So do I save the money for the 2 month's salary or do I pay down the debt which will at least take another year? And what about the honeymoon? That's where I really want to spend a large amount of money for a great getaway vacation...what do I do?
Equal Rights
Fri, Jun.12th 2009
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Ladies, WHERE IS *YOUR* SIGN OF LOYALTY AND COMMITMENT TO HIM? Aren't we living in 2009? Aren't men and women supposed to be equals? Why aren't you spending two month's of YOUR salary (if you even work) on a ring or other gift for HIM? Oh, that's right....you're only "equals" when it's convenient....lol.
CJB
Fri, Jun.12th 2009
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I am not going to spend $8,500 on a ring. No way. No how. That's a ridiculous proposition, pun intended. I love my woman and I will spend every day for the rest of my life making her happy. I could buy her a $20 silver ring to propose with, It doesn't matter. Just A Girl...and so many other women on here saying "Spend, Spend, Spend!" You're exactly the type of women I am glad I am NOT marrying! A ring is a symbol. The DIAMOND company wants you to spend a lot of money on a DIAMOND ring. It's unbelievable how many of you pathetic sheep follow these marketing campaigns as if they were gospel.
Jackson
Fri, Jun.12th 2009
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Yes, lets face it, a car is a status symbol. You can get a practical, reliable car for under 10k. If a guy has a reliable, practical, inexpensive car, than his bride too be shouldn't be upset with an inexpensive, practical ring. However, if the guy thinks an inexpensive, practical car is not good enough for him... then of course he should not get the love of his life a practical ring. It tells the girl that he doesn't value her as much as himself, and that he doesn't value the symbol of his love and commitment as much as his status. That's not a good way to start out a marriage.
Melissa
Fri, Jun.12th 2009
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I agree with girl and just a girl. It's sad to see a man driving a nice car and his girl wearing a dinky ring. It just goes to show what he values more... himself and his ride, or his commitment and bride.
Darryl
Thu, Jun.4th 2009
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I am 51 and this is all stressing me out...I make just over 172,000 now that would mean...a 29,000 ring !!! Forget affordability...just practicality. I told her the ring would cost over 20M and her remarks were.."are you outta your F%$#in mind"... Now the background is we were both married before..neither received or gave a ring the first time. Maybe I want to do it right this time..but I admit. Her response is valid !
angelina
Tue, May.12th 2009
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the bigger the better....its also for your own face for good's sake, dont be so sharby....most of the guys are just worried about this ring will not be able to cut into half when they divorce
inlove
Thu, Apr.23rd 2009
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Personally I think to each its own. According to this 2 month salary thing my fiance should have spent 75,000 but he only spent 35,000. So it really depends and I loooooove my ring!
Anonymous
Tue, Apr.21st 2009
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We got engaged on Valentine's Day 2008, the biggest day of the year for engagements I guess. I got a 3 carat yellow zircon ( which is a real genuine stone, not a CZ ) that is set in white and yellow gold and has small diamonds down either side of the band. I absolutely love it! It sparkles just like a diamond and it didn't cost us a down payment on a house to afford it. Everyone thinks it's a diamond but if they ask I proudly tell them it's a zircon. It's beautiful!
his salary or mine?
Sat, Apr.18th 2009
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Interesting posts-- I think the two months things is just a guideline, as other have said, think about her and what kind of ring would she most love-- since she will have to wear it for the rest of her life. I'm not big on jewelry and would say budget-conscious BUT... I do want to receive a beautiful ring. I make a little over 6k a month, my guy makes close to double what I make-- it would be crazy for him to spend that kind of money on a ring-- but I will wonder if it's something dinky
Bargain Hunter
Wed, Apr.8th 2009
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You may also want to consider going to a resale or pawn shop. You will not pay nearly the amount you would in a retail store in the mall. I got a 1/2 carat solitare in platinum for only $500. The 1/2 carat heart shaped I had picked out in the mall was $1500 on sale.
2FOR1
Wed, Apr.8th 2009
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I spent 1250.00 on my wife and was able to get a engagement ring and wedding band set. When together it is a very unique and beautiful ring. I think people are too quick to think that the price they see is the price you pay. This is not so for a diamond. try and haggle - you might just be supprised. P.S. the original cost of my ring set was 2250.00
Bride to Be
Wed, Apr.8th 2009
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It's things like this that make me go: I'm glad my fiance chose to give me a sapphire than a diamond (European custom, supposedly.). :) I'm a college student, my fiance is just starting out in his career. Who can afford that kind of money these days in the times we're in? There's far more important things to spend 2 months income on than a rock that sits on a finger and does nothing... like maybe save up for a downpayment on a house?
Paul D
Tue, Apr.7th 2009
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One of the comments were that you are taking the best years of woman's life....so two months of salary for 4 years(avg. lifespan of a marriage nowadays).... a guy would get laid for 250 times for that period(yeah, sex is rarety once you get married).....at $5k per month(avg. salary) that ends up being $40 per lay.... still a pretty good deal.. one just ends up paying upfront
Jmd
Tue, Apr.7th 2009
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At the beginning I never got a chance to give my wife an engagment ring due to our limited income . But even so we have been married for 11 years now. On our 10 year anniversary I finally gave her the engagment ring , the tears on my wife eyes said it all. Her ring cost me $549.00, and before anyone starts thinking what a cheap bastard I am my wife and I handle our mony very well, we own our company and have been debt free (except for our house)2 years. And she is my everything.(please excuse my grammer , inlish is not my first language)
Synic
Tue, Apr.7th 2009
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Life is not about things bought, but the life you lived. No one will give a shit when you die about how big the ring you got when you got married was. Your marriage may not even last. Marriage is just a piece of paper and a bunch of false promises that will hardly ever hold up. Who cares about any of this mess, just love the best moments you have with the best person you have.
Good Woman
Tue, Apr.7th 2009
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The sad truth is that if your lady TRUELY loves you the ring won't matter. It's the fact of being married and the sacred bond that is promised through that cerimony that matters the most. Some girls are happy with a ring from a cracker jack box, all the others are looking for a trophy to show off to their friends and brag about how much more their man loves tham then the man of one their friends. It's all just a show. Don't worry about how much the ring costs. Get what you can afford. If your lady really loves you, she'll love the ring because it is FROM you!!!
Love me like a lady
Mon, Mar.16th 2009
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Buying the ring is not only about the money it costs, or even about the love you share. Getting married is a lifetime commitment, the ring is a symbol not only of your love, but also of your commitment and willingness to sacrifice. Who just jumps up and can spend 2 months of salary on a ring? Take the time, make the sacrifice and SAVE up the money. Make her feel special and important to you. Knowing your partner is very important but be willing to make the sacrifice, take the time to save up as a symbol of your love and commitment.
Anonomous
Sun, Mar.15th 2009
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I don't know what the answer to this question is. I don't know the proper amount or percentage. What I do know is that soon after engagement typically comes (1) a wedding, (2) a honeymoon, and (3) a home (downpayment + mortgage). People typically get married in their 20s and typically making a 5-figure income at this point in their lives. So how can a 5-figure income afford an awesome ring, an extravegant wedding, exotic honeymoon, and a comfortable home all within about a one year time frame. I feel screwed. Unless you have wealthy parents who can help front the bill this just doesn't seem realistic for us 20-somethings to do. Then again, perhaps thats why so many of my generation is extremely debt-riddin.
Best Answer Ever
Sun, Mar.8th 2009
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I am a surgeon going through a divorce. I cannot afford two months salary on my girlfriend. And I know some of you can't either. I asked a few people this question until my friend Betsy came up with the perfect answer. This answer doesn't matter whether you're a rich CEO or a hamburger flipper in McDonald's. Betsy says, "...that because a woman is willing to give up her "beautiful" years as well as her child-bearing years for you the ring better be nice. As for how much it should cost. Well, price doesn't matter--AS LONG AS IT HURTS YOU FINANCIALLY!" That's it! Perfect answer. I just bought a ring that will end up costing me about $6500. How could I possibly spend $32,000 on a ring. That is crazy. Especially when I am forced to give my ex wife $4200 every two weeks in alimony and child support. DBF
bad bitch
Mon, Feb.16th 2009
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For all that think the price mattes its just a engagement ring its not your wedding ring. I think price do not matter at all its the love and the thought that count if spent he spent 300 to 1000 on an engagement ring he brought it and that what matter all lady , girls or women need to stop thinking about the price, size and the dam diamond.
True Love
Fri, Feb.13th 2009
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I'm sorry, but anyone who expects their partner to spend two months salary on an engagement ring needs to examine their moral values and priorities. You're basically putting a price tag on love, your relationship, and your lives. I can guarantee you that there is no correlation between the compatibility/success of a relationship and the money the groom spends on a ring. The ring should look nice and display to everyone that the person is taken. A woman who really loves a man (like my wife) appreciates those things above a standard. Love is about trust, communication, dedication, and appreciation through actions. A man should definitely spend money on his wife to be, but he shouldn't put his new family in debt or irresponsibly consume because of it. The fact that the two months salary requirement stems from a diamond company and we follow it really says something about superficially consumer driven we are. When we start spending (or saving) on more things that matter, we can finally realize what's important. I've known a lot of women who have expensive engagement rings (not to mention handbags, shoes, etc.), and it's funny how their happiness from those things doesn't last long. It's also funny how a great compatible partner brings you true eternal happiness, and they won't put a price tag on how much you care for each other.
Just a girl
Fri, Feb.13th 2009
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boys, boys. I think some of you have this all wrong. You obviously don't understand the importance of a ring to a woman. This is the one thing that we have been looking forward to since we were teens laying around and daydreaming with our friends. I am not a superficial person, but come on...no matter what a girl says unless she never wears jewelery, she wants a decent ring. One of you used the phrase "waste 2 months salary"??? Seriously you should not be getting married if buying the woman you love a ring is "a waste of money". You don't need to go crazy, but don't be cheap either. If you buy a ring and say you will upgrade...that is crap also(if you make a decent income)! What, you don't love her enough now to buy something decent,but if it lasts then you will in the future? You want to be proud and feel good about what you give and most importantly want to make her happy. This is one ring for the rest of your lives. Pick up some shifts at work, stop buying extras for yourself, save...and do what is right!
J-Money
Mon, Jan.26th 2009
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The article does suggest that it's ok to go under the 2 month rule if you are on a really tight budget... but what about the opposite end of the spectrum? What if you make $800,000/year... are you really supposed to shell out $67,000 for a ring? It just seems a bit absurd to spend that much on a freaking ring, and it doesn't seem safe to be wearing something that expensive on your finger all the time. I would be worried about my wife getting a finger chopped off! What would be an appropriate amount to spend if you make 300k? 500k? 800k? 1 Million?
Engaged chick
Wed, Dec.3rd 2008
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Fortunately (hopefully) you're partner won't be marrying you for your money, and will recognise that your thoughts and feeling are more inmportant than the number on the receipt for the ring! I've never been a fan of diamonds (I mean really, they are a bit bland) but my lovely fiance bought me an antique diamond ring: the thing about it that we fell in love with was the setting, not the stone! We were also happy it wasn't too big, so it won't constantly get snagged, and it didn't cost us 2 months salary we need to pay for the wedding and a house down-payment! Know yourself, know your partner: what suits you both best may be completely different from these advertising campaigns/"traditions"
John
Sat, Nov.22nd 2008
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Oh boy! I'm about to try looking for one also. May God have mercy on me too! Also for the poor girl I love. May she be blessed for tolerating me!
John
Sat, Nov.22nd 2008
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Oh boy! I'm about to try looking for one also. May God have mercy on me too! Also for the poor girl I love. May she be blessed for tolerating me!
Anon
Wed, Nov.19th 2008
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Haha, I'm a student, so my 2 months of salary is like -$1000 ( if you count tuition as salary). How do they like their marketing campaign now.
Rantipole
Sat, Nov.1st 2008
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Yes, the two month thing is suggested primarily by... DeBeers! Who want to sell diamonds! A bit of a conflict of interest there. Of course, you won't find many brides disagreeing with their suggestion. ;-) Still, while technically I suppose I could have afforded two months, I found an amazing ring for around 1 month's salary... it just took a LOT of footwork! That is what is missing from this article: you don't necessarily want to walk into one jewelry store and walk out with a ring. Go to a bunch and check out all the options.
Pat
Mon, Sep.29th 2008
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From the time you give your Wife/Husband "to be" an engagement ring, how long can/should engagement be before marriage?
Kevin
Sun, Sep.28th 2008
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Everyone's situation is different, and the "two months salary" marketing slogan should be viewed as a suggestion. Additionally, I would never consider buying a mined diamond. Man-made diamonds (gemesis, apollo, etc..) are higher quality, and much more unique (available in yellow, pink, blue). If a clear, high quality stone is your preference, moissanite is a great way to go. It's more durable than diamond and more brilliant (fire). Think outside the box! Almost every couple I know has the same generic 1 to 2 carat diamond. There are many more creative options available.
ransdell
Sat, Sep.27th 2008
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maybe i can just fly by with a cubic zirconia lol
Eligius
Wed, Aug.6th 2008
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You should choose the very best engagement ring that will fit your girl's style and your budget. It's important to make knowledgeable decisions about diamond purchasing based on the "4 Cs" (color, clarity, cut and carat weight). However, I don't think guys should get caught up in this. Remember why you're buying the ring in the first place--romance! Choose a ring you know your girl will love and then choose a diamond that fits your budget. You can always upgrade later!
Ryan
Tue, Jul.29th 2008
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2 Months Salary is a little high don't you think. I mean especially if you and your new lady are planning on getting a house and having a nice wedding. I mean down payment on a house is 10 000 minimum and even a small wedding as a moderate location will cost upwards of 10 grand. so all ready you're into this 20 000 and they want you to spend (in my case) 15-20 thousand on a ring. that's a little much.
truth
Tue, Jul.22nd 2008
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It's a shiny rock that a bunch of old white guys have created artificial scarcity and demand for. plus, you can think about all the severed arms that you have just put 2 month's salary into. Stupid
Adam
Mon, Jul.14th 2008
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The 2 months salary is smart. It was created before the idea of credit cards. It may take a year or longer to save that kind of dough. Not only does it give you more time so you dont make a rash decision with the wrong person but also gives you time to learn about jewerly. Guys if I go out and buy a new truck I dont just take the first one with a decent price. Research jewerly, you are a guy and have no idea what your doing. A jeweler is like a car salesman, dont take his word for it
soon to be mrs.
Fri, Jul.11th 2008
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diamonds are expensive guys......i would not go as to say spend ALL your money on your soon to be wife....but just know that it will be something that she will wear (potentially) all your lives together.... and as a girl that loves jewelry its not like you have to buy her a 4000 dollar ring every year.....its once!!! one time... you guys spend that on a flat screen for your sports room and dont even blink an eye!.......and i dont think that it shows how much you love the person.....but it could make your girl really really really happy.....so go on make her friends jealous... put a little more thought into the ring....dont just get the whatever ring.....get the ring that will make her scream!!!!.....there is a big difference.
girl
Fri, May.16th 2008
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So you know...She may say it's "perfect" or "better than putting a strain on our relationship", but let's face it guys: THE BIGGER THE BETTER. No woman would turn down a larger, better quality ring, if given a choice. The fact is that we don't have that choice. It's not like we can say "that's kind of a dinky ring" as you are on one knee and profess your undying love and desire to spend eternity together. So do your ladies a favor and try to think of it as a good kick start to the rest of your life. Remember, you spend more on the multiple cars you'll own in a lifetime...let's hope you'd be willing to spend as much on the ONE woman you'd like to spend the rest of your life with. Learn to appreciate her and not think of the one time price of a ring as a burden. In the end...we all know that she'll pick up after you and feed you and your dumb friends in amounts that far surpass two months salary.
pat
Tue, May.6th 2008
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Seriously....2 months salary is what the diamond companys want you to give them....Think about it before you jump of that cliff like a lemming. Putting a financial strain on your relationship over a ring is not worth it. Love, trust, and a good relationship is much more than a piece of jewelery. If you think that a higher price ring says that you are more committed and more in love....better get yourself a good divorce lawyer
Frank
Fri, Apr.25th 2008
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I was also concern that a two month salary was too much, specially if you take into consideration that the wedding itself could go pricy very fast, sometime by just changing a few things here and there. Flowers, for example its something I am willing to sacrifice if I could use it in something that will last longer, such as the diamond. In all reality the whole thing its about the person who is going to hopefully share the rest of her life with you. You should buy what you can affort, it your marriage is meant to last. You can always upgrade her ring setting, diamond, etc.
Patrick
Tue, Mar.25th 2008
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Think about your future wife. Does she wear jewelry often? Does she want a huge rock? Forget your salary for a minute and think about her. My soon to be wife never wore a ring until now and doesn't wear much jewelry to begin with. According to the 2 months salary rule I was supposed to spend $15,000 on a ring, which seemed insane to me. I was able to buy her a ring that she loves, with near flawless ratings in Cut, Color, and Clarity while sacrificing Carat for under $4,000. It's not the biggest, but it's perfect for her. Think about her long and hard before giving up 2 months income.
Sat, Mar.1st 2008
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Great article! May God have mercy on me as I embark on this process.

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