In the olden days before we were born, the parents of your fiancée would throw a small party to celebrate the newly-announced nuptials of their darling daughter. As with many traditions, this one has gone the way of Brooklyn Dodgers and has morphed into whatever you - as the modern groom and bride - can conceive. Welcome to a new century.

The engagement party is usually a casual affair with your closest friends and family. Jeans instead of tuxedos, relaxed and not uptight, with plenty of appetizers, beer, drinks and wine. An engagement party is certainly not required, but it can be a blast.

What kind of party, exactly, and when do we host this drunken affair?

Generally speaking, there are no set rules for planning an engagement party. Anyone can host it; anyone can pay for it; it can be formal or casual; it can be big or small; it can be held at someone's house or apartment, wine bar, or the corporate box at a hockey game.   The engagement party is typically held a few months after your engagement and no later than three to four months before the wedding date.

Benefits

The engagement party can serve as a great way to informally bring two families together who might not have had the chance (or inclination) to do so before. Your brother meets her sister; her mom meets your step-dad's girlfriend (divorce number two) and so on. Along the same line, it can be a great way for the wedding party to get together informally before having to sweat it out in rented tuxes and awkwardly link arms with a stranger/bridesmaid on the wedding day.

An engagement party can also serve as an opportunity to celebrate with friends or work colleagues that may not be invited to the wedding. This, of course, is dangerous territory, because more often than not someone who is invited to the engagement party will be invited to the wedding. That said...proceed with caution.

Sometimes, the engagement party can be used as a fundraiser for the bride and groom, similar to what is called a "stag and doe," which is often a slightly rowdier affair. (We suggest you also read GroomGroove.com's article about wedding fundraising (the stag and doe) so that you can decide which is more your style.) In a nutshell, an engagement party is more of a get-together, whereas a stag and doe is primarily to assist the bride and groom in paying for their wedding.

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