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[+] considerations for the prospective groom

- gut check: are you  sure you are ready to get married?

- how do i know she's the one?

[+] all the groom needs to know about engagement rings

- a groom's guide to engagement rings

- diamond-buying
guide

- do you need GIA-certified diamonds?

- buying an engagement ring online

- surprise ring or blank check?

- how much should a groom spend on an engagement ring?

- engagement ring price calculator

[+] popping the question

- should the groom ask the father-in-law for permission?

- popping the question

- marriage proposal stories

[+] "pre" marriage things

- the prenuptial agreement

- pre-marital counseling

- pre-marital financial planning

a second marriage for the groom?

engagement announcements

the engagement party

dealing with cold feet or wedding jitters

dealing with bridezilla

eloping

a las vegas wedding

the name change: sometimes touchy

backing out of your wedding: a survival manual

your fiancée called off the engagement

tax consequences of getting married

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popping the question [Page 1 of 3]

Subtle and quiet over dinner? With an airplane flight over a farmer's field? No matter how you do it, the manner in which you ask your girlfriend to marry you is a big step. GroomGroove.com covers some suggestions on how to pop the question, with all the goods best covered in our sweet How to Make an Awesome Marriage Proposal book.

Are you in a relationship with someone with whom you would like to spend the rest of your life? How you are going to ask her to become Mrs. [insert your name here] is a symbolic step that you both will remember forever. No pressure!

Given its importance, the prospective groom will want to take some time to think about how to make the wedding proposal memorable. This means that a smart groom will carefully plan what he is going to do and avoid any impulses to spontaneously propose to his girlfriend.

Know the Answer in Advance

While it isn't the focus of this article, you should read GroomGroove.com's article on whether you, the groom, are *really* ready to get married. This will help you to determine your level of compatibility with your girlfriend and whether you have the basis for long-term commitment. By having "The Conversation" in advance of the proposal itself, you'll have a very clear idea on whether the answer will be yes or no. Only a fool (or a character in a bad Hollywood movie) pops the question without having a sense of whether the other person truly loves them back and will say yes. The element of surprise you are looking for here is: "Oh my God, I had no idea today was the day! How creative was it for you to mow "Will You Marry me" in our lawn!" and NOT "Oh my God, I had no idea he thought we were that serious!" Got it?

Big Bang or Something Subtle?

When you are planning the act, you should take some time to think about your partner's personality. Is she an extrovert or an introvert? Without getting too deep into psychological analysis, you need to determine whether your girlfriend would appreciate a huge, potentially very public display of affection or would she rather have an intimate moment alone with you. That being said, it is up to you. If you are confident that the outcome will be positive, put as much creativity into the proposal as you feel comfortable. Regardless of the tone of the proposal or the amount of creativity involved, however, you do not want your proposal to be overly complicated, unless you are prepared for things to go wrong.

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Hello! This is your creativity
Sun, Jul.11th 2010
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You can always change the ring--upgrade, return it, get a bigger diamond--but you can NEVER ever change the proposal story. Once it happens, that's it! It is the story you're going to be telling for the rest of your lives. Do you want that story to be "oh, well we went to the restaurant where we had our first date..." or "we were watching tv one day and he got down on one knee..." or "there is this cute park by our house and he made a picnic..." OR(!!!!!), do you want it to be the kind of story that still makes her weak in the knees when she's 85? The story that stands as the TRUE symbol of your love and your commitment? The story that shows that you're a BAMF when it comes to romance?! THE STORY TO RULE ALL STORIES?!!! GENTLEMEN, you are not bounded by platinum and an artificially inflated budget...You will not be burdened with the expectant glances of her friends and the disdain of her foes...You do not have to face the condescending glares of crooked jewelry salesmen...AND NO, you do not have to pay a single cent!!! THIS is your opportunity to express your love and bad*ssery WITHOUT a dollar sign attached to it. This is the true test of your commitment. So... GO FORTH... And take hold of your FREEDOM!!!!!
Jack
Tue, Jun.22nd 2010
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LOL, I really don't get it. As much as I love my girl, I find it quite grating that virtually the entire process is about her rather than about US. She's already told me what kind of ring she'd like, how she'd like to be proposed to, and basically she'll be in control of virtually everything about the wedding, oh and I already know the do's and dont's of my non-existent bachelor "party" and even though she hasn't said it, it'll all be "about her". For someone that is so selfless outside of the whole wedding process, it really is a surprise for me. I look forward to MARRIAGE, but definitely, definitely, definitely not to the entire wedding process - none of which I, as a man, am allowed to enjoy apparently. While women have many valid concerns when it comes to men's behavior during the wedding process, I also wish they would understand that for some men there is virtually NOTHING to look forward to about a wedding. (Shelling out TONS of money and then doing tons of things you don't want to do...ugh)
sweetsunray
Mon, Feb.22nd 2010
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I knew my fiance and I might become serious before we even started our relationship. Often he would have deep conversations with me, and then suddenly stop and saying "now was not the time yet." At first I didn't even know what he was on about. And then the last night, before I would leave back to my home country, he popped the question half drunk as he took me aside in the bar where we were celbrating my last night. Kinda strange too, as he was romantic in every other sense, buying ice creams, walks along the boardwalk or along the river, cooking me surprise meals, wanting to see sunsets... I guess he wasn't sure first, and then when he was got insecure ... We'd been together through a lot already in a month, day after day, but though I thought it was sweet and knew it was sincere, I felt it inappropriate to answer: I needed to go home and center myself before I would make any decision. Then he came to live with me for 3 months to test the relationship itself. We had a few big lows, some fights, and we also turned the tide around back to loving and supporting communication. And then I realized it was time to answer his question of half a year before that, and the only way I could was by popping the question myself. Perhaps not the most romantic story... but then the whole leaving his life, family and country to be with me by itself is romantic enough. And his proposal actually makes me smile fondly, even back then...
Mike
Thu, Oct.15th 2009
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thanks guys!
KayKay
Thu, Jul.30th 2009
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Hi! I'm a spoiled ass bitch. My insecure husband only chose me because I was a virgin. See, he has a tiny dick, so he wouldn't even consider any woman with experience. I got married really young, and hubby thinks he got a good deal. What he got, was a stupid, vapid, spoiled rotten cunt who went right from my fasther's house to my husband's house, and who would rather spend my time at the mall, spending his money, than raising our children. Our oldest daughter has a drug problem, and got arrested last month! She's been charged with a drug/alcohol/DUI, plus possession of a dangerous drug, plus drug paraphernalia! I'm in denial and quite stupid, so it hasn't occured to me that a 'casual user' doesn't carry around a crack pipe! We overextended ourselves with hubby's father's business, and now I'm reduced to selling our personal belongings on ebay! I wonder how he can stand me and if he regrets marrying me?
Awesome idea
Fri, May.22nd 2009
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Nate R that idea rocks. nicely done.
Nate R
Tue, Apr.21st 2009
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Your Comments When I 21, i had bouoght a very nice ring (which didnt work out) but, I would alway buy little cheap plastic rings from gum ball machines and give to her and she would wear them for the night out...Anyway when i bought her the real ring i bought a plastic ring and put the real one in the plastic container and gave it to her and she was so excited she cried for 2.5 hrs and i was so scared cause she didnt awnser. So if this would help anybody out you can use my idea.
K
Tue, Apr.7th 2009
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Your Comments Just make sure you propose in a place that means something to her or to both of you together, NOT someplace that only means something to you! You might think it's funny to propose in a place that meant something to you & your college buddies, maybe you think it will make you look cool with them, but she won't appreciate it. Make it something special that she can happily share with friends & relatives when they want the scoop. Even if she's not much of a romantic, don't underdo the proposal-- it's too important.
HH
Thu, Feb.26th 2009
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As a female and wedding planner I have seen the do's and don'ts of marriage proposals. I started helping men with marriage proposals after I saw many men spend thousands of dollars on an engagement ring yet spend little time planning the best marriage proposal possible for his future fiancée. The proposal doesn't need to be extravagant just personal. Here are just a few more words of advice from a female and proposal planner... always start by avoiding the two common blunders in marriage proposals; one, a man makes it all about his interests and likes or two, his lack of planning leads to a poor presentation. (resource: www.simplyuproposals.com) It should reflect your personality but hers as well! Another helpful tip: Wait to purchase her engagement ring until after coming up with the proposal idea. Many men get so excited that they finally found the perfect ring (which is great!) they just pop the question wherever or whenever. It's a story couples tell over and over so we suggest taking some time to plan it out. Again, every woman is different so it is not how extravagant it is just how thoughtful and personal you made it.
princeless princess
Sat, Jan.17th 2009
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When my bf proposes to me I want to be dressed up so when he puts the huge rock on my finger I look good. If he chooses for family or friends to watch it happen I don't want to know otherwise I may not kiss him the same as I would. I feel it's a private moment between us. I would want the rest of the day or evening to belong to us. We can inform all of our people the next day. OMG if the ring is really nice he is so going to get so much sex that night! MUAH!!! XOXO
Craig
Thu, Nov.6th 2008
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RH - I would suggest looking up Aphrodite. (the Greek, goddess of love) Maybe there's a certain spot that has a story relating to her by where you'll be. I found when I proposed to my fiance that she didn't care much where we were, just what I said and the kind of RING I gave her. I was able to have someone make a very original ring which my fiance continues to show off every chance she gets! Good luck thinking of some way to propose.
Groom Groove
Tue, Jul.1st 2008
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RH - we haven't come across any marriage proposal stories from Greece in our marriage proposal story archive. See the link at the bottom of the page. But there are a ton of other travel or exotic marriage proposal stories there.
RH
Sat, Jun.28th 2008
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any suggestion about proposals on greece?? Mythology.. temples.. etc
Rober
Fri, Jun.27th 2008
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It should certainly stand out...I asked my girlfriend to marry me on top of the Zugspitze, the highest mountain in Germany. I couldn't believe how nervous I was at the time, or perhaps it was due to the freezing temp.
James
Wed, Jan.16th 2008
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The way you pop the question should reflect your personality. I made plans in advance, not at a fancy place to eat with all kinds of special effects but instead I (with help from her father) built a heart-shaped box with a lock on it and put the ring inside in a velvet bag. Planning the day was no biggie, I just figured on asking after midnight mass on Christmas Eve. Simple but memorable event and now she has box made out of oak and stained a rich cabernet color to treasure forever.
Andy
Thu, Jan.10th 2008
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My bride to be is an American and she was flying in to the UK on July the 4th, perfect date for an anglo-American engagement. I planned it all. I had rung the hotel we were staying at and arranged for rose petals and champagne to be put on the bed while we were out. I had booked the club (seriously, well it was the Ice Bar) we went to the night we got together, and then planned t propose on one knee in the park we walked in afterwards where we discovered we were together (a long story). Well her flight got put back a day thank you suspected terrorists at Heathrow, so I had to ring the hotel in a panic and rearrange and rebook the room and call the ice bar and get a new reservation, thankfully they had one. But then on the day she arrived it poured down with rain. However the hotel had given us the honeymoon suite at no extra. I proposed in the ice bar instead, where she said yes making it the best night ever, and when we got back to the hotel (after getting quite damp) they had put out the petals and the champagne which rendered my new fiancee speechless and unable to move. That reaction with the yes were simply fantastic. So yes things can go wrong, but they can easily be fixed, and as long as there is a yes then it don't matter what went wrong
Dave
Thu, Jan.3rd 2008
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I proposed on a tour of Fenway Park. It was quite cheesy, but she is a huge Red Sox fan so it had some sentimental value. She cried instantly and forgot to say anything... after saying yes she cried for 30 mins more. I started to think that she was upset at my choice of location, but she convinced me that she was so surprised. I had not planned on the proposal being so public, but it turned out that 100+ people were on the tour.
DW
Sat, Dec.29th 2007
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The best advice I can give is to think about how you think SHE would like the proposal to be - not you. If she's an introvert don't give her the big embarrassing public proposal because you like that idea. Give her what she wants, you're going to have to get used to doing that anyway, might as well start now!
JON
Wed, Dec.26th 2007
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I actually did this on Christmas Eve. It was very simple. Friends and family were over for a late late breakfast and I popped it then. Her response was uh-huh. Not yes, but uh huh. That was nerve wrecking. But now its over.
Kareem
Fri, Dec.14th 2007
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scariest day of my life!
Andrew
Mon, Dec.3rd 2007
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DOH! Jason that sucks - but at least you pulled it off in the end. I know one guy who hid the diamond ring in a park, in the mud where they went running. Guess what happened. THAT's even worse.
Jason
Mon, Dec.3rd 2007
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I agree with Brett. simpler the better. I tried a very elaborate plan involving a spotlight, the local pool where we first met, and a whole host of other things. on the day the event was supposed to happen it all fell apart, literally. the pool pipes broke and flooded the basement and a gas main broke. I still at the last minute booked a nice restraunt, and got them to put the ring in some tieramisu, but all my best laid plans were laid to ruin.
Brett
Sun, Nov.18th 2007
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Simpler the better!

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