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[+] considerations for the prospective groom

- gut check: are you  sure you are ready to get married?

- how do i know she's the one?

[+] all the groom needs to know about engagement rings

- a groom's guide to engagement rings

- diamond-buying
guide

- do you need GIA-certified diamonds?

- buying an engagement ring online

- surprise ring or blank check?

- how much should a groom spend on an engagement ring?

- engagement ring price calculator

[+] popping the question

- should the groom ask the father-in-law for permission?

- popping the question

- marriage proposal stories

[+] "pre" marriage things

- the prenuptial agreement

- pre-marital counseling

- pre-marital financial planning

a second marriage for the groom?

engagement announcements

the engagement party

dealing with cold feet or wedding jitters

dealing with bridezilla

eloping

a las vegas wedding

the name change: sometimes touchy

backing out of your wedding: a survival manual

your fiancée called off the engagement

tax consequences of getting married

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how do i know that she's the one? [Page 1 of 3]

"You'll just know," says one groom. "I guess I just knew," says another. "It sounds cliché, but...." So, how can a groom tell if his girlfriend is "the one"? It's a question every guy contemplating marriage will ask. GroomGroove.com deconstructs the question to help you figure out the answer to one of life's big questions.

From girlfriend, to fiancée, to bride-to-be and retirement in Florida: Yup. You'll "just know"

Without wanting to toss in the towel too quickly, there is an element of truth to the idea that a groom-to-be will just know that his girlfriend is the right person for him to marry. Knowing is that feeling you get when you've got the right combination of characteristics in a woman and in the relationship itself.

What is it about this particular woman?

In terms of your girlfriend, only you can really define the characteristics you're looking for. Frankly, you've probably never given it much thought, other than "Man, I really love Jen!" GroomGroove.com suggests digging a bit deeper. What is it about this woman, over and above any others that have already danced around in your life and dumped you, that makes your heart jump? Is she smart, sporty and funny? Is she ballsy? Is it her looks? Is it only her looks? If you will be truly proud to call this woman your wife and she has the characteristics in a woman that you are looking for, you may be on to something. "There was a magic moment," says Ryan T., from Montreal, happily married for 3 years. "I was sitting on my balcony having a smoke after my last year of law school, after my last law school exam. Romantic, I know. But in that moment of happiness, I just decided that she was the woman that knew me the best, that I felt totally comfortable around and adored who she was and who we were together." (ed. - Get out the Kleenex etc.)

Your relationship

You aren't talking about puppy love. You're not getting married after one whole month of dating. No, you've sown the seeds, so to speak, for a relationship that is going to last a long time. If you've got shared goals and desires (aka - on the same wavelength), for key elements of a successful marriage (including support for respective careers, views on having a family and everyday life), you're in good stead. If you enjoy being with your girlfriend and she enjoys being with you, but you're both secure enough to have lives outside of the relationship, you've got something to hang on to. Make sure to read our article about having 'The Conversation' with your wife-to-be. It covers a series of questions to consider with your bride-to-be on whether you the prospective groom and bride are ready to be married.

But she's not perfect...

We men often search for perfection. The perfect golf club. The perfect job. The perfect beer. Just as you aren't a perfect person, nor is she likely to be. If you're searching for perfection, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. Over the course of your career (and hers), you're going to meet plenty of amazing women that will catch your eye, all of whom have elements of perfection. It's God's way of teasing us, we suppose. (ed. - If you do find perfection, send us an email. We'd like to talk!)

The trust factor

Trust is very hard to define. But in our view, trust begins when you can tell your girlfriend anything. Anything at all. Anything embarrassing. Anything that you are ashamed of. Anything that would make you, a grown man, cry. You've told her that one thing that you've told no one but her. She'd never reveal your most trusted confidences. She'd never abandon you if you had a terminal disease, and you'd never abandon her in the same situation. Do you trust this person to that extent? That's a pretty big test.

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Tue, Feb.12th 2013
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Robbie Corey - The scene was a amazing muesum full of fine art and priceless paintings. In the middle of that was a wedding that in every way compared to the beauty of the surrounding art. The way you captured their spirit and love for one another is incredible, they are wonderful group of people from the bride and groom to their family and friends. They will look back at the photographs and remember in vivid detail because of these great photographs.
Michele
Tue, Nov.9th 2010
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Great article and it is definitely best to be sure that you are positive you have found the one before you propose. Once you are sure, go for it. There are Marriage Proposal planners out there to help make your proposal perfect too. It can be very stressful www.theheartbandits.com
Jeeves
Sat, Apr.10th 2010
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My hand is the ONE! Perfect
Tilak Sokoria
Fri, Mar.19th 2010
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it is good to have chemistry in a relationship,be where your heart is needed and you too know that it is right!
the caurtious
Mon, Feb.8th 2010
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wow i see you guys that say you have years dating ...... thats the point me and y girl want to get to we have 6 months together and well this is not kid love i reallly really love her we have konw each other for 4 years and liked each other and i barely had the guts to ask her. i just want to know is there any advice out there that you can give us? we have never fouhgt and are allways giving each other uplifting things and it is really really working out i love her and we really want to be togther for the rest of our lives. any adive since we never fight and well yea . Do's dont's? help graatly appriciated ty :D oj94@live.com is my messenge and my e mail please and thank you
William
Sat, Jan.9th 2010
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I've been with my girlfriend for over 6 years. Everything is perfect about her except for the fact that she doesn't do any physical activity. The sex is great, shes got a really nice job, shes the most honest person i've ever met and for some reason she still really loves me even after all we've been through... But I've tried going on a bike ride with her and she barely made it a mile at a super slow pace. She also eats fast food for about every meal. She is the most picky eater on the planet and has never even had an apple. She is very petit and doesn't eat a lot but I am a very healthy person. I take vitamins, work out, do a number of different sports and I enjoy skiing more than anything. And she HATES the winter. I don't need someone who is just like me, it would just be nice to have someone who is open minded about different activities and who likes to push themselves physically to maintain a healthy body so I don't look like I'm 30 when she looks 45. Perhaps this is a shallow "i don't want a fat wife attitude" but what can i say, her mom and sister are HUGE and while I know she never wants to be like them i'm afraid her lifestyle needs a drastic change that I dont think will ever happen. I love her dearly, HATE dating and find all the girls I've been with very immature and lacking a lot of the qualities i love about her. But being healthy is very important to me especially if this person is going to be carrying my kids. We've talked about these issues and all she gives me is "i am not going to be fat" which really isn't what I'm concerned with, its more the lifestyle choice that I don't think i can "change". What on earth do i do?
clinton
Thu, Jan.7th 2010
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I have been seeing my girlfriend for about 6 months. We get on really well and even when we disagree we agree to disagree. However she is not very affectionte and does not belive in sex before marriage even though she is not a virgin. This was strange to me at first but for the first time in dating I decided to give her a chance and not walk away as I found that weird. I can sort of cope with no sex issue but even other intimate stuff she did not believe in, but yet a few times she has initaited intimacy but gets all tied up when i intiate it. I have addressed this with her that it cannot be one sided and she admits it, but my worry is that why is she trying to be something she is not. She is a very cautious person which I can understand to some point but sometimes I keep telling her that a relationship needs for both parties to open up. I like her alot and i feel she does as I have met her friends and she takes time out of her busy schedule to do things with me and there is never a dull moment with her. But as I have told her in the next 3-6 months I dont want to start thinking this was a waste of time. I am not perfect but I have given her lots of patience that I never gave anyone else but I am not blinded by my fondness for her. Sorry for the long post your commnets are appreciated.
kat
Thu, Nov.5th 2009
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To Vic: It's all about Love Languages. We all express our affection differently. There is a book called the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman that details five common ways people show they care. Here they are in a nutshell: 1. Quality Time-- A person who values quality time simply likes being around those they enjoy. They will set aside time from a busy schedule if they want to work on a relationship. 2. Words of Affirmation-- Some people like giving and receiving compliments. These can range from "I love you because..." to simply "I like the way you do ___." 3. Gifts-- Many people find gift giving to be representative of their affection. This doesn't have to be that competitive type of gift giving. It simply means you are driven to give the people you care about something with meaning. 4. Acts of Service-- This is DOING. Doing a favor, giving a helping hand, surprises, etc. To some people, actions speak volumes to their hearts. 5. Physical Touch-- Not to be confused with simply the pleasures of intimacy, many people find that physical touch holds a great impact over their feelings of love. A hand on the shoulder/back, frequent hugs or nearness is important to people who care about physical touch. Perhaps your girlfriend speaks a totally different love language than you do. It sounds to me from your narrative, that you like to express your love through physical touch: kisses, hugs, etc. It also sounds like that is the kind of reciprocal expression you crave. You and your soul-mate do not have to have the exact same love languages to be compatible, however, it helps to understand each other. How many times have we heard our mothers say "I just wish someone would do this without me asking!" Her primary love language is Acts of Service. Or what about probing questions such as "Do you like it when I wear this jacket?" That person is seeking Words of Affirmation. I'm sure you can google a quiz to help you find your love language and there is a Facebook app called "Love Languages" that can guide you to finding your love language. I hope this helps! It really is important for communication, not only for those closest to us, but with anyone we encounter!
Julie
Mon, Oct.26th 2009
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I've been with my boyfriend for a year and seven months, we've known each other for going on five. I've always wanted him, and finally when we owned up to our feelings and started dating I felt so blessed. I still do feel so blessed. We are having our hard times right now, I'm at school and we only get to see each other every two weeks usually. I know we'll get through this tough time and it will make us stronger, but I always worry what if I see him next time and don't feel the same, I think I'm getting too used to the distance. I know that I want to be with him for the next 5, 50, 100 years of my life (if we live that long). These questions really helped me out during one of my neurotic moments, that and talking to him about it. Being able to communicate is so important to us, and though we both have quirks that may be annoying at times they're things neither of us would change because they're also endearing parts of our personalities. Grooms, and brides-to-be, if you feel the way I do about my boyfriend (or girlfriend in some of the gents' case) then you're ready to pop the question, for me I'm just waiting for him to ask.
Vic
Tue, Aug.18th 2009
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I'm in a strange predicament myself. I've been in a relationship for 5 months and now I'm starting to have my doubts about my girlfriend. I'm very gentle, sweet, and tender with her.. rubbing her back and running my hands through her face, neck, and arms every night we're together.. I go out of my way to make her feel wanted and special but she just doesn't have it in her to reciprocate the showering of love that I give her on a daily basis. Whenever I see her the first thing I do is go over to kiss and hug her. She on the other hand, will walk in as I'm standing next to the counter and simply starts pouring herself some juice from the fridge, or doing something else entirely. I feel that we're on the opposite ends of the affection scale. She tells me that she loves me, and I believe her but she sure doesn't know how to show it. I'm happy with my girlfriend, but I'm wondering if there's someone else out there who could make me happier. It's very conflicting because she is definitely "wife" material as she takes care of herself, me, and the house (cooking, cleaning, etc.,) but there's a lack of chemistry. On paper she would look like the perfect candidate for me, but in reality she's not really making the cut. I'd hate to break things off with her since I know it would break her heart but I've got to find happiness for myself right? Just writing this makes me feel anxious and conflicted... My friends all like her and tell me that I'm an idiot for thinking like this. I think its mostly because she's also a very slim and attractive woman. I know you can't ever get the "perfect" package but something is going to have to change if I'm to stay committed to this relationship. I'm so friggan lost. What the hell should I do? I know I can find someone else... but what are the chances that I'll probably feel this way again? Am i just being too damn picky?
Juanita
Tue, Aug.18th 2009
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My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and some months. In the beginning there were some problems, like if I wanted to talk to him about something serious or an issue I was having it was like hearing a speech from my dad or something. We both had entered the relationship in hoping that this was it, I personally am not a big fan of dating. We've worked through the downs, the good has certainly outweighed the bad. We have talked about getting married and what traits from each of us we want our kids to have and how that would affect our careers etc. Sometimes I get scared that maybe after the 3rd kid or so he might get bored with me but that feeling always passes. He is the most amazing man I have ever met besides my dad lol. We share goals, interest, hobbies, etc. I don't know what I would do without him. I love it when we have our time together laying on the couch watching a movie, playing around, etc. Especialy in the morning when I wake up and he's laying there smiling at me, oh wow. I also enjoy time away with my friends and he has his time for his. The best thing I feel is being positive and allowing only the good to influence your relationship. If you are positive it doesn't allow discomfort or lack of communication in the relationship. It always help you and your future wifey grow. If she's not willing to be positive that should be a sign too. I may be 20 but I have a feeling....I just know he's the one. Even with the 7 year age difference (he's 27) I feel as though we are are on the same page and that no one else could ever come close to him. I wish the best for all you other couples and hope that 40 years from now we will still feel as if no one else will do.
Lalo
Fri, Jul.31st 2009
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I have been with my girl for 4 years and up to date I still love her but she is real bossy and she gets mad at me for any little reason it puts me real down when she does that.... Would any one tell me what to do????
dave
Thu, Jul.9th 2009
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I have been with her for 3 years we just started living together(2 months), I keep asking my self can you see yourself being with this girl for the rest of your life? i keep asking my self this question because, i know that i will never find perfection but i want to get close... i have came to realize that ever girl is crazy, i can over look that, but i like sports, she never played sports in high school. i bought a soccer ball and she has never wanted to kick it around with me. I play soft ball she never has asked to throw with me. now to some people that's not a big deal ... but to me its HUGE!!!! I still hang out with all my friends. For some reason all of her friends dont talk to her anymore.. I have dreams i want to be rich and famous. She just wants to go to work every day. I try to be sweet and write nice things on our dry erase board, she writes put the dishes away. i want to jog and excersize, she wants to put her pj's on and watch TV. I want to make love. she wants to go to bed early... I have come to realize that there is no reason why i should have to settle on this... Men, Women, be with someone who you cant breath without, be with someone who has dreams, be with someone who you dream of kissing every day... for me i have found that person ... and its not the girl im with, after my lease is finished .. i will part ways its just been a waste of time... i going to get on match.com.. screw it. lata
Blaine
Wed, Jul.1st 2009
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Been dating her for 3 freaking years, have lived with her for one. She has been great, up untill she caught wind I might ask her to marry me, then she got crazy. Then again, she has always been controlling of my money, I dont hang out with anyone anymore really only her. This sucks but I think we need to break it off. Im 22 shes 20. Were young, we'll be fine. But Im pissed cause i dropped 6 grand on a ring!!!! shoot me
RichS1
Thu, Jan.22nd 2009
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This is a solid article here with some really good points. I've now been married for a few years and couldn't be happier, and I think the points in this article are critical to look at before dedicating yourself to someone. Personally it wasn't too hard for me to realize that I had met my ideal companion, so I considered many of these mentioned issues - and decided soon after to propose. I ended up proposing with a platinum ring while at brunch one quiet Sunday. She didn't expect it at all, which was exactly what I was going for. For those of you looking towards taking the next step, one of the sites I used is www.engagementguide.com. It's a comprehensive site providing lots of good information on stuff you might be wondering about. It's what convinced me to get a platinum ring, too. I'm so happy to have chosen the ring I did because I'm reminded of it's meaning every single day when i see it on my wife. It's timeless, stunning and classic - a constant reminder of how much I love my wife!
wiseman
Mon, Jan.5th 2009
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small disagreements are very common in a relationship. Men and women think and behave differently, and that's the beauty of it. The true test is how you come out after a disagreement. Talk it out, work out the problems. even the little ones. be the one to say "lets not fight about this" and go with the flow. does she move on and forgive? or will she be pissed all night? see how she reacts to talking it out.
Mr. Blue
Wed, Nov.5th 2008
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This is to Mike. I'm right where you are at in my difining my moment to pop the "question". In my thought process of deciding to wait for her to finish school, I had an epiphany. The education is not who I'm proposing too, its the woman. I love her now and want her to know that. You can always be engaged until she completes her study, but I learned in life there is no time like the present if you truly LOVE her.
MIke
Tue, Oct.7th 2008
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Yeah, I know what it feels like to go through 'that moment' where you just *know* "Hey.. she's the one. I could spend the rest of my life with her." It's not a matter of problems, disagreements, or anything like that. We work those out and always grow stronger from it. MY tough part is.. she's finishing up college in a year and half. I want to ask her to marry me sooo badly.. but it wouldn't be right. I want her to finish college and TRULY be ready to do what she wants in life with me. Sooo.. I'm waiting, waiting.. :P
Blake
Wed, Jul.30th 2008
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I'm having some severe issues... I feel she's really selfish and immature... I love her, but I've been struggling with these feelings for like 3 weeks now. I am a very patient person, but I don't have infinite patience... I think she just has a lot to learn and when we are together things are a blast... but when we have anything serious to talk about, it's all about her. Her first reaction is always herself. I don't know if anywone else has noticed that?
Steve
Fri, May.9th 2008
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I think you cannot possibly know if it will ever work out, and I absolutely feel that you cannot be honest with your partner all the time. Answer me this - Why does the majority find the 'one' between approx 24-30? What a coincidence!
Andrew
Tue, Dec.11th 2007
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Hey The 1 - I personally think that when you're bickering, it's because you're spending WAY too much time together. That was a mistake that I made when I was dating my fiancee. We started to neglect all of our friends etc. and I think it was largely because we were spending all of our time together. that's when the mini arguments creep up - I don't want to eat there again etc. etc.
The 1
Mon, Dec.10th 2007
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I def. love her more than anyone else I've been with and we want all the same things. I think I'm sure, but I do have doubts from time to time when she does stuff that annoys me. We definitely bicker about stupid stuff sometimes. Is that normal? ANyone feeling the same?

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