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[+] considerations for the prospective groom

- gut check: are you  sure you are ready to get married?

- how do i know she's the one?

[+] all the groom needs to know about engagement rings

- a groom's guide to engagement rings

- diamond-buying
guide

- do you need GIA-certified diamonds?

- buying an engagement ring online

- surprise ring or blank check?

- how much should a groom spend on an engagement ring?

- engagement ring price calculator

[+] popping the question

- should the groom ask the father-in-law for permission?

- popping the question

- wedding proposal stories

[+] "pre" marriage things

- the prenuptial agreement

- pre-marital counseling

- pre-marital financial planning

a second marriage for the groom?

engagement announcements

the engagement party

dealing with cold feet or wedding jitters

dealing with bridezilla

eloping

a las vegas wedding

the name change: how it will get done

backing out of your wedding: a survival manual

tax consequences of getting married

backing out of your wedding [Page 1 of 3]

There are times in life that call for sticking it out, seeing it through, rolling with the punches. Marrying someone you’re having significant second thoughts about is not one of these times.

What happened?
It could be that your relationship suddenly takes a turn for the worse, or that you have a nagging feeling deep down in your gut that this isn’t the right choice. Sometimes even the wedding planning process itself brings out a side of people never before seen by their partner.

While planning a wedding can be a stressful time, and a certain amount of friction is to-be-expected, an unmanageable level of friction spells trouble. Yes, there is the honeymoon at the end of it all, but the honeymoon is not a good example of day-to-day married life; it’s a great vacation. While life won’t always be as stressful as planning a wedding either, (while trying to work and live life simultaneously), it can be that stressful—and even more so—from time to time. Many married couples take significant steps forward in life together after their wedding. Some buy houses, cars, or property. Some have children and start joint bank accounts to pave the way for the rest of their lives together.

If wedding planning seems stressful to you and your fiancée, just imagine how stressful losing your job when your first child is on the way could be. Imagine dealing with your in-laws moving into the guest bedroom because their house was demolished in a flood. How you relate to each other and work together as a team pre-marriage is likely the same way you’ll operate post-nuptials, so take note and don’t ignore your instincts.

Other reasons for calling off your engagement:
- You still have feelings for an ex, or every girl that walks by.
- You are marrying her because it seems like the “right thing to do” (She’s pregnant but you wouldn’t otherwise want to marry her; you’ve been together so long it only seems right; she has given you the ultimatum of “marry me or we break up now.”)
- You don't have the same religious or spiritual beliefs and this is an insurmountable difference to one or both of you.
- You have different ideas of what constitutes a "family" (e.g., whether or not you want children).
- One seems averse to commitment, even at this stage of the game.
- Your would-be-bride comes with too much family baggage (Her father is going to micro-manage every aspect of your married lives).
- An important promise is broken (e.g., one of you promises that in X amount of time you'll move to location X, and then later someone changes his or her mind).
- You can't agree on whether both of you will be working to support the relationship or if only one of you will be the sole breadwinner.
- One of you loses interest in the other sexually.
- One of you has a major issue with trust.
- One of you is sleeping with someone else, or is likely to have issues with monogamy.
- You can't see yourself retiring in Florida with this person. You can't see yourself with this person in five years, in fact.

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Groom
Mon, Sep.17th 2007
Rating:
NICK! I think you should call it off or get counselling with her. otherwise you are GOING to end in divorce or get the book thrown at you when you cheat on her and she divorces you and the judge hates your guts!! Get out. Gotta be ballsy sometimes. There are plenty of women out there.
question
Mon, Jun.18th 2007
Rating:
Why let yourself get into this mess? If you are really thinking clearly, you don't pop the question and pull out later. just my 2 cents
bartttt
Sat, Apr.14th 2007
Rating:
getting the ring baack or not it still must be crappy
Zach
Sat, Apr.14th 2007
Rating:
Ziggy81 - I bet it happens with people who get engaged after a short period of dating time. Plus - in terms of the ring, you get to have it back. I think there's an article on this site about that. I think it's a marriage law question!
Ziggy81
Fri, Apr.13th 2007
Rating:
awkward situation...but how do you spend 3 month's salary on someone your'e not 100% sure on? I don't get that.

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