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guide to being a groomsman [Page 1 of 1]

After reading this list of groomsman duties, you will see that being a groomsman is no laughing matter. This is one wedding where you can't just slack off and party down with all the single girls the whole time(although you definitely might meet someone!)

You have a real role to play, so take it seriously. You should also know that your job as a groomsman will also require a monetary commitment.

You will be required to pay for your tuxedo rental, travel expenses, hotel accommodations and possibly even wedding day transportation. You will also be expected to contribute to the cost of organizing the bachelor party. And, of course, you must not forget the gift for the newlyweds.

If you don't think you are up for the challenge of being a groomsman or if you don't think you can afford it, then do the groom a favor and graciously decline his offer to have you in his wedding party. He'll appreciate your honesty. Nothing is worse than a great buddy who: 1) can't actually commit, 2) who commits but then pulls out, or 3) forgets to get fitted for his tux, shows up late or forgets the details. And hey, we can't blame you - a groomsman is a bit of a prop. You may be focused on hanging out with your other buddies at the wedding. But at least be a good prop!

Before you decide to be part of the wedding, you may first wish to peruse this list of duties.

Months before the wedding

  • Get fitted for your tuxedo
  • Help the groom and best man with their tasks
  • Help the best man organize the bachelor party
  • Start thinking about your wedding speech

Days before the wedding

  • If you are making a wedding speech, have you honed it to perfection?
  • Help set up and clean up after the bachelor party, rehearsal dinner and, of course, the wedding
  • Pick up your tuxedo on time and take care of any issues yourself
  • Help decorate the ceremony venue (e.g., church or synagogue)
  • Attend the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner
  • Be supportive - the groom needs you!

Wedding day

  • Get ready and follow the itinerary that the groom has given you – be on time for everything!
  • Be supportive - the groom needs you!
  • Greet and seat guests at the ceremony
  • Escort the mother of the groom to her seat
  • Escort the mother of the bride to her seat
  • Escort a bridesmaid down the aisle
  • Attend the photography sessions before, during and after the wedding ceremony
  • Sit at the head table during the reception
  • Dance with a bridesmaid at the reception
  • At the end of the reception, help clean up and possibly attend to the gifts
  • Return your tuxedo
[Page 1 of 1]
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Our wedding party including the groomsmen worked with my husband to give me a Dreamlines sketch of my wedding dress and his suit. It was so cool! I love it and all who helped. We have such great friends who made our day so amazing!
Christ himself
Fri, Sep.11th 2015
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I agree with most of this however my problem is I was only given 2 weeks notice to do all of this im disabled and don't make a lot of money and the suit rental was 180 dollars and now they want another 200 for bachelor party i have no way of coming up with anywhere even close to this amount I feel asking groomsmen for 200 dollars litterally 6 days before wedding Is very unfair im really upset about this if I would of had 8 months to save like a normal wedding I might of found a way but now I'm not sure what I'm going to do if anyone could help wif advice please email me at weetodd@safe-mail.net
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Wed, Jun.26th 2013
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The groom selects his best friend, cousin, brother to be the Groomsmen. What an honor! Now the groom must honor this person who went through a lengthy and costly process to stand at the grooms side on the big day. One way to honor the Best Man is to give him a gift to remember. I recommend a FLASK; which I bought for my Groomsmen at my wedding 4 years ago. http://www.dreamflasks.com/gifts-for...men-s/1854.htm Today they seem to have a sale going on. What a bargain!
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Scott
Sat, Jun.30th 2012
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So, I was not told I had to pay for tux rental to be groomsman, my mom told me it should be taken care of by wedding couple or family of bride. I showed up, got my tux and tux rental place said that will be $189.95 sir. I said what, I do not have that kind of money, I did not have a job at the time or even 20 bucks in my wallet. I was ticked at my buddy for not telling me and I walked out of the store did not pay for tux and did show for wedding. When I got the call, I simply said Dude, I don't have that kind of cash to get the tux you should have told me. He said I thought you new you had to pay. I said No Dude, good luck to you and Kim. I won't be there. He did not even offer to pay and me go get it so I could be included. He was a real good buddy too, I just think it was bad communication, but really, I could not even afforded it if he would have told me. I think this is wrong, because all people and family getting married here were very well off people, like they have a pool man and a gardner, and vacation in Hawaii every year. So, that was just rude!! Don't you think???? I don't plan on getting married any time soon, but if I ever do, I will pay for the dudes tuxes in my wedding and the chicks dresses, not going to have my friends pay for my day, that is just wrong. especially if they are such good friends!!!
NATASHA
Sat, Jun.30th 2012
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THIS WOULD BE "MODERN WEDDING Etiquette", 20+ YEARS AGO, THE WEDDING WAS COMPLETELY PAID FOR BY THE FAMILY OF THE BRIDE. NO TUX RENTAL BY GROOMSMAN WOULD EVER BE EXPECTED TO BE PAID; OR BRIDEMAIDS EXPECTED TO PAY FOR THEIR DRESSES EITHER, IT SHOULD ONLY BE PAID FOR BY THE FAMILY OF THE BRIDE OR THE ONES GETTING A MARRIED. IT IS RUDE AND SELF ABSORBED TO EXPECT YOUR ATTENDANTS TO PAY SUCH OUT RAGEOUS EXPENSES. WORD TO THE WISE; IF ASKED TO BE IN A WEDDING, SAY UP FRONT "WELL IF YOU ARE PAYING FOR TUX RENTAL OR BRIDESMAID DRESSES;SURE!" IF YOU ARE NOT, THEN SAY: "NO, SORRY I CAN NOT BE IN YOUR WEDDING, BUT THANKS FOR THE INVITATION TO SPEND ALOT OF MY MONEY ON YOUR DAY"
Jim
Wed, Jun.8th 2011
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Jeez, if I'd looked into this ahead of time I'd have never agreed to be a groomsman. Totally dreading it, hate dressing up in stuffy uncomfortable fancy clothes, don't know how to dance nor do I have the slightest interest in it, have zero interest in getting married myself. I've been to several weddings out of respect for my friends but found them incredibly boring. I'll suck it up and do my part out of respect for my friends, but never again. Bleh. As for owning a tux, I'm in my 30s and can't think of anybody I know who owns one. Most of my friends are engineers like myself, but even so, what does anyone wear a tux for besides a wedding?
Jim Waters
Fri, Nov.12th 2010
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I cannot believe how detailed you are with your posts about about being a groomsman. What did people do 15 years ago when the net was just a thing for geeks? Where would have gotten as much information about giving a Groom Wedding Speech. I was fortunate to use a wedding speech guide similar to what you have published on this site. I wrote about my experience in a blog. Feel free to visit http://groomweddingspeechexample.com for free tips on groom speeches.
JC
Wed, Aug.18th 2010
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I'm talking tux rentals, bridesmaids dresses, things of that nature.
JC
Wed, Aug.18th 2010
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If you ask someone to be in your wedding, you should pay. You shouldn't *expect* anyone to pay all that money just so you can have a large wedding. Who dictates etiquette? That's like charging your guests a cover fee even though YOU invited them. If you can't afford it, don't have it in your wedding. That's why my wedding was small. That's why we took so long to get married and to plan it. Proper Etiquette my hind end!
ian
Fri, Mar.19th 2010
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Your Comments Going to be a groomsmen today thanks for all the info i had no idea
Usher
Fri, Mar.12th 2010
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Groomsmen can act as ushers - of course! Before the wedding - there's at least 20 minutes of guests arriving where the groomsmen have nothing better to do.
Jenna
Wed, Nov.11th 2009
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I thought you had separate ushers? I haven't seen any groomsman act as ushers before!!
CK
Mon, Sep.28th 2009
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I went to a wedding 3 days ago. I did pretty much was told of me. of course I know how to dance to slow music but hip hop? nope. I went to dance with the bridesmaid and this hip hop started going. everyone dance but me and the best man! lol.
C
Sat, Sep.26th 2009
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Some of you guys are a joke. Any guy over the age of 25 who doesnt own a good tux is not a real man. Seriously it must be an american thing
Neil
Thu, May.21st 2009
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Going to a wedding tomorrow. Not in shape, don't care. Don't even really know the guy its hilarious that he asked me. Going bald if they don't want me don't ask me. People should not expect others to change their appearance for their wedding! People are way to vain. Dont lie the looks dont invite me.
Ryan
Wed, May.6th 2009
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Get your man into shape! It's easy to do...
quander
Thu, Mar.12th 2009
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i am getting married in 4 months and my fiance doesnt have a clue on what a groomsman is supposed to do. all he is thinking about is his best man. boy is he in for a surprise!!
Frankie
Sun, Dec.21st 2008
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MY BOY CARLOS A FRIEND IN HIGH SCHOOL IS ONE OF MY GROOMSMAN AND MY GOD BROTHER IS MY BESTMAN HOPEFULLY THEY GET MY BATCHULOTE PARTY RIGHT
Dave
Tue, Sep.16th 2008
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Yup.......sure sounds like a lot of work, but i'm honored to be a groomsman. In fact, for all those complaining about the cost.....I am doing this two weeks in a row for two of my buddies weddings. That's two stags, 2 fittings, 2 tux rentals, 2 rehersals, 2 hotels, 2 gifts. All in two weeks! But it will be fun
CU
Wed, Aug.13th 2008
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WOW!!!!! this is news to me. I always thought that the groom handled the tuxedo rentals.
Amanda
Thu, May.29th 2008
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These ideas are very helpful and informative to all us girls who need to plan in advance :) Amanda
alex
Thu, May.29th 2008
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great information and very helpful.
groomsperson
Wed, May.28th 2008
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What if you are a groomman who is actually a woman?
paul
Sat, May.24th 2008
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Lamin - you aren't probably going to be asked to give a speech. It's typically only the best man.
Lamin
Fri, Apr.11th 2008
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Do I have to give a speech on the wedding day or do they have to say anything about me.
Andrew
Sun, Dec.16th 2007
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JJ - I think you should totally take the opportunity to dance with the hot bridesmaid. It's very good training with how to be ballsy with women ;) Have fun!!! Be confident and forget the awkward thing.
JJ
Sun, Dec.16th 2007
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well, i'm still a teenager, so dancing with the bridesmaid at the reception might get a little aquward
ric
Mon, Nov.12th 2007
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Totally in agreement - number one thing is to take care of the tux - never complain about the colors or anything like that. Just take care of the tux and have it done early
II
Wed, Oct.31st 2007
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there actually is a lot to do as a groomsman. As a former groom and groomsmen in a few weeks, I can say the most important thing to reduce the stress levels of the bride is to get the tux long before the wedding.

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