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choosing your groomsmen
[Page 2 of 2] The Usual Suspects
Your Family No matter what your family or friends say, there aren't people who "must" be in the wedding party. Be sure to pick buddies you're close with - not guys you feel obligated to ask. If you loved beating up your brother, but he's not your "best man", don't let your mother force your hand. However, family typically comes first when it comes to the groomsmen. Unless there are some unusual circumstances involved (such as, for example, you aren't on speaking terms), if you have brothers, they're in the wedding party. That's one slot down, a few more to go. Her Family The same goes for her brothers. The two of you are going to be family soon, and including her brothers is a great way to start things off. This should be based on mutual agreement with your fiancee. If she is trying to force your hand and by picking her slightly annoying and boring brother, you are within your rights to ask Bridezilla to back off. It can be more challenging if your bride has two brothers who are equally qualified to be groomsmen. GroomGroove.com suggests that you either pick neither of them, or leave it for your bride to figure it out. There is no point in starting off on the wrong foot. Closest FriendsYour closest friends are great choices. But, remember, they have to be responsible guys. Just because you love to go out drinking with a guy on a Friday night doesn't mean he can handle the responsibility of being in the wedding party. He might be a great guy, but if he's going to show up late to the tuxedo fitting session, he's going to be a pain to keep in line. Let's face it: some guys just aren't wedding party material. If the first image that pops into your head when you think of a guy is him passed out and covered in permanent marker, he's probably not the right guy for the job. Great Expectations The basics include:
If this is manageable for your buds, then you're in business. A Short Word About Wedding CostsWeddings can be expensive affairs. You need to keep in mind that not everybody in your wedding party will have the financial means to buy a brand new suit with matching navy blue tie that you've picked out. Further, if a groomsman (and his wife and kids) are flying in from California and staying at a hotel, these costs add up. You are likely to be asking your groomsmen to shell out at least $250, not including transportation. And Finally... At the end of a smooth flight with a smooth landing, a cabin full of passengers will sometimes applaud. If you choose the right co-pilot and crew for your wedding, that allows you to focus on what you need to do to reach that altar, expect applause at the end of this flight. [Page 2 of 2]
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Banjo
Kewl you should come up with that. Excleelnt!
Rowdy
Haha. I woke up down today. You've cehreed me up!
ohhelp
Hi my fiance has a bit of a dilema - he really doesnt have anyone as his best man. He doesnt actually have many male friends outside of work, at least none that he wants for such a role. He hasnt kept in touch with aany of his mates from school (didnt even get invited to his former best friends wedding as the 'friend' moved out of the area) he only really has MY BROTHER to choose - would that just be weird though???
Groomguy
So I was the best man for my older brother, but i'm really unsure he can handle certain duties - specifically the bachelor party since he's now recovering from alcohol issues, and cannot be around for a night of drinking. I'm getting a little pressure to select him...any suggestions?
Kevin
I don't have a brother. My closest male cousins in age live 2 hours away and are 4 years away in age. I really don't have a "best" friend. Advice?
Justin
i have the same problem Rob has... all my other choices would end up drunk covered in majic marker...
J
Rob - If you can't think of anyone else at all who you are really close with, it is perfectly acceptable to have someone from her side in your wedding party (or vice versa - you can have a sister in her wedding party). Does she have a brother who she is close with? Siblings are almost always good bridal party participants because they know the bride/groom very well and can help relieve stress if they get along well enough. Also, they can be in charge of managing difficult family situations if the best man is not related to either party.
Rob
I have picked a best man and one groomsmen, I need one more but cant think who. Im not real close to anyone, I keep kinda busy with work and things. So I dont really get out much anymore, and I havent spoke to anyone from high school for 7 years. How do I decide who to pick?
groomsman
Hahahaha....I saw the picture on the second page. Indeed, it is good to be a groomsman!
Thanks
You guys pretty much covered it all.
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