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bachelor
party guide for grooms
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Who's in Charge?Usually, the task of organizing the bachelor party falls to the best man. While you, as the groom, should be involved to some extent, you shouldn't have to do the bulk of the organization. After all, the whole point of the bachelor party is to show you a good time, not to test your planning skills. Aside from putting the whole shindig together, the best man is responsible for ensuring that you don't do anything that will jeopardize your impending nuptials. Whenever there is a combination of guys and alcohol, peer pressure comes back like a high school ex-girlfriend, so the best man needs to be on the ball to make sure you don't do anything too crazy. As if that's not enough, the best man is also in charge of making sure everyone is included and having a great time. It's a lot of responsibility, but it doesn't mean the best man can't have fun, too. After all, it is a party. When to have it?In the Spring or Summer. On a Leap Day or a Sunday or cold Tuesday in January. Any day at all, but under no circumstances will you allow your bachelor party be held the night before your wedding. Typically, the bachelor party is held 2-3 months in advance or on the Thursday night prior to a Saturday wedding. Mild versus Wild Long before the bachelor party, the groom and the best man should take some time to discuss the tone. With this guide, you, as groom, are merely along for the ride. Defining the tone in advance is important since it will not be possible to do so on the night of. At the end of the party, you want a party that's going to be a blast for you and keep you out of the dog house with Her Majesty. Keeping in mind that your best man isn't likely to know all of the attendees, setting the tone will also help the best man give guests a heads-up in terms of what to expect. A mild bachelor party and wild bachelor party are likely to start out the same. While your day may involve a poker tournament, golf or go-carts, you and the boys will invariably go out for a nice dinner. (FYI: Luckily for you, the groom never pays for himself.) What happens after dinner distinguishes this bachelor party from any other. We're going to leave it to your imagination. GroomGroove.com provides information here on planning a bachelor party for your best man. The GuestsYou and the best man should also sit down and hash out the guest list. As a general rule, twenty is a good number. Anything more than that, and it will be too difficult to control if things get out of hand. One of the easiest ways to coordinate the bachelor party is with an E-vite. That way, the best man can let everyone know what's on the agenda for the party. E-vites also help the best man keep track of who will be attending and print out the guest list, a vital, but often overlooked item. article continues... [Page 1 of 2]
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New Engaged
Women who comment on strippers - NO BIG DEAL! No touch, no foul. You should see the crap that goes on at bachelorette parties (dancing bear) - wow.
My fiance is secure and knows I wouldn't do anything stupid. I love it when she looks at porn once in a while, getting worked up makes us closer!
hayley
a dude ur really fucking idiotically fucked up the GROOM would be the cheater if a stripper comes up and starts to lap dance (WHICH WILL HAPPEN!!) and he dont do anything its cheating...ever hear once a cheater always a cheater because they didnt get caught so why not try it again obviously the groom is the jerk that has 100000 needles in his haystack
hayley
u should b ashamed no good 2 timin pricks i feel sorry 4 the wifes poor girls THEY DESERVE BETTER!!!!
hayley
i think all you men who plans on going to a strip club for ur party then alls that makes you is a straight up loser the fiance dont do what men do they cry n have a good time with their friends and respects that they think they have sum1 faithful..when clearly they dont...guys think before you get married is it what you want if it is dont do sumthin u wouldnt want ur lover 2 do.. if u have already cheated then u dont have a brain..ugh people who go 2 strip clubs or look at girls naked or has sex b4 a
a guy
Whats up with all the women on this page? You think that writing something up here is going to make your man not go to a strip club? No, it won't. You think any other man, including me, cares what you think is or isn't cheating? No, we don't. This is GROOMgroove.com so go bitch about your fiance somewhere else. I've been told by my future wife that she doesn't care if I go to a strip club, I don't really want to though.
Juantanimo
Guys, don't worry so much. I had strippers and hookers at my wedding. the wife still doesn't know. gawd I did some terrible things that night, and morning. It's not really cheating since we weren't married yet.
Common Sence
KO this message is for you sweetheart, its not beeing offended by the strippers themself its being offended that your fiance wants to go lust after another naked women who is pretty much degrading herself. you must be a stripper huh? or is one of thoes chicks that goes to the strip club with her guy,or U might not have a guy so U might not understand how that feels, I dont care how secure you think you are, thinking about our men looking and lusting at another naked women is VERY uncomfortable, not only uncomfortable but very disrespectful Men shouldn't Lust over another woman I dont care what anyone says ITS LUSTING and not only is it cheating but its also a sin. AND its also not the end of his world just because he's getting married, he can still go out and have fun with his boys, im sorry but I HATE when people say that "ITS THE LAST NIGHT OF BACHELORHOOD", cuz think about it you werent single when you asked her to be your wifey, what the hell were you doin before. OMG its Stupid, Its just an excuse for a man to do his dirty work I guess LOL
Pitiful
mr man
FOR Soon-To-Be-Groom, no it is not okay to invite friends to your party if they are not in the wedding, they should be invited they are your friends arent they? Invite your friends in the wedding.
2 sessy 4 u
display name on myspace is Jazmine Marie, someone stole my url but I love to talk about stuff like this, so if any questions hit me up on myspace
2 sessy 4 u
I know this is a guys page but this message is to all my women who feel insecure about their men going to the srip club before their wedding, I think you should go to your spouse and talk quietly, NO NAGGING, its probably why they go in the first place, But just sit them down and have a heart to heart, and tell them how you feel about the situation, if he's a good man he'll respect your wishes. But tell him your not okay with him starring at another"naked" woman, but make sure you are suttle and delicate, act like a lady and be very mature about the situation if he does decide to go then dont make to big a fuss. Just dont trip, I know its gunna kill you inside to hold your peace but DO IT you dont want a big fight before your big day. If he decides to go, when he leaves find something to do to occupy your time dont just sit at home and be miserable, think about yalls honeymoon and wedding and have one of your girlfriends come over and yall talk and have fun (dont talk about your business) but talk about something fun, even go out just keep your time occupied dont think about what he's doing cuz hes not thinking about you. But in all reality just because your guy is at a strip joint, dosent mean he dosent love you, we will never understand our men and they will never understand us, but your man loves you believe it or not, or else you would't have that FAT rock sitten on your hand, think about the good things he has done for you its hard for a real man to committ better yet get married so you MUST be somethin special. thoes NAKED strippers dont have nothin on YOU, Even though its seems messed up its reality and like I said we'll never understand MEN!! But be COOl NO FUSSIN or loud ghetto talkin be a lady and be mature!! www.myspace.com/2sessy
Cool Guy
To sum it all up, apparently its a big deal, there are more women commenting then men, just have good clean fun. It will all be still be memerable and worth it in the end, its just what you make of it Trust. Talk to your spouse if its cool then go for it and if shes not comfortable about it then plan something else there are other things to do with your boys to have fun,such as Casino, having a house party and playing X-Box and drinking, even going to the club is cool YOU DO have the say so, talk to your best man if he has a problem then OH WELL he's not getting married and he's not a good friend if he cant understand, he can go do what he does on his OWN time. Just have good clean fun guys and ladies ya'll aint so perfect either!! Women are probably more secretive and sexual then men, dont try to act all goodie to shoes!
reality101
Okay groom eventually your right on many things but everyone has insecurities, me as a woman would be so offended that my man wants to see a stripper shake her ass and biggo titties in his face its like what the hell man if you want a tease, go to your beautiful wife, make it rain on her, im sure SHE can use your hard earned money on some bills or a savings or something of that nature and thats another thing dont feed the strippers feed your kids dont give another woman your money give it to YOUR WOMAN! tease MY MAN, PLEASE you cant get over something like that its just not right, its totally uneceptabe, it crazy. how can that make a woman secure, knowing your man is lusting and looking at another woman, while we women sit a home waiting and wondering, and when you get there you wanna have sex, and while your having sex your thinking about the tits that were in your face earlier in the night, HELL NAW YOU GET OVER IT, THERE IS OTHER THINGS BESIDES NASTY NAKED WOMEN, HOW COULD A MAN BE SO FASINATED BY A WOMEN DEGRADING HERSELF, YOU SHOULD BE INTO A WOMAN WHO IS INDEPENDANT AND HAS MORALS, AND SMART. AND i BET HALF OF THOES STRIPPERS HATE MEN, WHY WOULD YOU WANNA GIVE YOUR MONEY TO THEM, THIS WORLD IS SO ASS BACKWARDS ITS REDICULOUS!!!
Reality101
And Kev out of all due respect you say no sex or nothing like that, Well let me ask you this, what is seeing a couple of titties doing for you? From my understanding that is something sexual, maybe not physical but mental, to me and I probably speak for others as well, there is NO difference, your mind needs to be pure of all sexual thoughts of other women its called lusting and thats cheating! Reality..... Not tryin to be an ass but think about that for real!
Jaz
Now if she approves and she does the same thing then hey, whatever floats your boat thats a totally different story, but I'll have to say at least 80% of women will not appreciate it too much, you can call it being insecure or whatever you may call it but its life, its reality. But Communication IS THE KEY, talk to your foxy lady about it and answer any questions she may have, make your soon to be wife feel secure protect her heart and her mind let her know she is the most beautiful woman in the world. That is why your getting married right? To be her provider and protector, Mushy but Reality!
Jaz
There is other fun stuff besides naked women, just have a party at the house and clown around, have an X-Box party and get drunk or something,go to the club or the Casino(dont spend up all your money)but bachelor parties are not all about seeing naked women there are other great things in the world, if you want to see boobies and booties go look at your wife!! And its not about "the last night of freedom" I hate that saying, if that was the case DONT BE IN A RELATIONSHIP, you stopped being single when you fell in love. I personally think its perverted Single guys its cool I understand but for men who are in a relationship its not cool especially if your spouse dosent feel comfortable. Come on lets be gentlmen and respectful.
Kev
My bachelor party is tonight and although we mights top at a strip joint or three, nothing out of hand will happen. No sex, no kissing, nothing that is considered cheating. We're just going to have a nice meal, drink some booze and check out some titties. No big deal. There is no reason to mess around with any ho/strippers now, I never did in the past. We're just going to have a good time, no sex or sexual crap. Last thing i want is to bring crabs home to my fiance.
Full House Poker Events
This was well written. Usually we get the groom's friends in a panic, not sure what to do next and how to plan anything. I think it is important to speak to your groom, and know what kind of party he really wants to have. Like some our Full House Poker Events and others don't. www.fullhousepokerevents.com
Dave
since freinds are in short supply me and my best man are going dirt biking the weekend before... she's being thrown a "toy" party and attire is stricked to langeray being all your alloud
groom eventually
Good article, it gave me some insight on what I should discuss with my best man.
The comments on here though are a little disturbing. First of all, this is a website for grooms, not for women who want to keep an eye on their grooms. I thknk you girls have over 1000+ websites out there you could rather be at.
Second, the bachelor party is a night of having fun with your guys without having to worry about the immense amount of stress you're about to feel (depending on the timing of the party and the wedding). We don't view it as our "last wild time". its a symbolic thing, much like a girl's "Sweet 16". Get over it. This is one of those events in a guy's life that are going to be worth remembering and absolutely must happen. What goes on at the party is up to the people who put it on. Obviously, having any sort of sexual contact with strippers/prostitutes/etc.. is wrong and I can totally agree that it would void the marriage. But a strippers job is to tease, and not have sex with your groom. No harm, no foul with the look but dont touch rule.
If your future wife isn't "happy" that you might be having a wild bachelor party, then you have problems beyond the party. That's insecurity, and you can't be happily married without totally trusting your better half. I understand if the groom to be has a bad track record with party decisions. However, the bride can't expect a groom to have to constantly worry about how she thinks of his decisions. There will be many more guys nights out to come.
soon-to-be-bride
I believe that the bride and groom should both have a guys' night and a girls' night with their friends that consist of dinner, drinks, and fun. Let guys be guys, and girls be girls. I don't believe that either should have strippers. In my eyes, it's cheating. If my fiance has anything in that category happen that night, then he can plan on being at the alter by himself. So why screw up everything in one night to just have a little fun? Go out and have a blast but be respectful of your partner and do what's right.
Scarlett
For Chris-- I heard about a golf course at the Rio in Vegas, where you can hire a caddy, but instead of some guy, they're cute girls who really know their golf. They also know some good inspirational tricks on the course :-)
Scarlett
guys, does the idea of your future bride having strippers at her bachelorette party bug you as much as it bothers us for you to have strippers at your boys night? I was shocked when I asked my fiancee if he wanted them there and he said "it was not up to him". PS- Valerie, I couldn't have said it better myself.
Opinionated
I cannot believe you people who think strippers are okay. And the comments about letting guys be guys...I'm sorry, but you are already committed, before you get married. That night, you are not a single guy. You may not be married, but the second you even enter into a relationship, you are no longer single. Get over it! and really, is marriage that bad? if so, why the hell are you doing it! And ladies, if a guy feels the need to watch some other woman get nude or whatever, you're not doing your job.
KO
As a woman, I am baffled by some of the comments that women have left here (and some of the men for that matter). You're offended by strippers?? Really????
Perhaps you've never been to a strip club before, but they are not all trashy places. Let men be men. This party is not only about the groom. It's also about the groom's friends, who are losing one of their single friends to family life, and want to enjoy one last night of bachelorhood with him.
Get a grip.
Also, I thought this was a really helpful article for best men, and I forwarded it to a couple I know who are planning a shindig.
Chris
So I live in the Portland, OR area and I am trying to come up with ideas for my bachelor party in July. The problem is though that my cousin who is one of my groomsmen is only going to be 20 at the time. Does anyone have any good ideas of what to do? Thanks
Kat
For the chicklets out there! The bachelor party is for the guys! As long as they play it safe (whether that be a designated driver or condoms) why should you care! Its not as if you (or your maid of honour) didnt think of getting a male stipper for your pre-martial party!
For the guys: Its some good advise, definitely make sure you have a place to spend the night! Walking in drunk (and you most likely will be drunk)at X'oclock in the morning is not the best idea. Have fun!
Laney
Excellent website.. im an aussie looking for ideas and this site is helping a lot.. some of the chicks thogh might need to pull their heads out of their asses!! bugger off and let the boys have some fun
a-dude
I thought this was a website that was here to give advice to GROOMS! So what are all these women doing on here trashing guys and their so called bad behavior? I would say that the majority of men are just looking to have a good time hanging out with their boys for their bachelor parties and if that includes going to a strip club then so be it. Just because guys enjoy seeing women naked does not mean that they are going to try to have sex with them. And if something like your guy going to a strip club makes you ladies that insecure that you think he's going to cheat on you then maybe you should recosider marriage because you obviously have some trust issues!
Adam
I read both articles and I like http://www.groomgroove.com/for_the_best_man/planning_a_wild_bachelor_party.php better!
Sue Ell.
WOW! It's pretty sad that guys even feel the need to prove their manhood to their friends. I can't imagine getting a bunch of my girlfriends together and feeling pressured into letting some guy grope me or doing sexual favors for me in order to prove to them that I'm a woman! What the he**? My man is planning on going to a notoriously sleazy strip joint for his buddy's 'last night free' and I'm not so sure that I will be able to look at him quite the same when he comes home. I'm not so sure that I'll break up with him or anything, but I can't guarantee that I won't think any less of him when he returns home. Maybe I'm just old fashioned, maybe I've been there and grown up...whatever the case, I think that any guy (or the friend of any guy) who feels that he needs a last night of proverbial freedom, needs to take a hard cold look in the mirror and decide who he is and what he wants. If he is so wanting to celebrate, why doesn't he celebrate the fact that there is one sweet woman who is going to stand beside him when he's old, fat, balding and has hair in all the wrong places? I think that's something worth celebrating!
Valerie
For Soon-to-be-groom if you see marriage as the 'electric chair or gas chamber' you should reconsider. Believe it or not a wife could be an asset, someone to stand by your side and support you through thick and thin. She may even be someone that you enjoy spending time with. However, there is nothing wrong with being single and enjoying the bachelor life such as strippers and having few responsibilities. If this is the life you enjoy then say so and move on. Remember, "to thine own self be true" and don't let anyone pressure you into marriage if it is not what you really want. Enjoy life and good luck.
LPJ
It is very unfortunate we live in a world where we have to worry about the people that are suppose to love us doing things they wouldn't ordinarily do around us. Are people really that afraid to be themselves? Most of the men in my life would have an affair with me, even the ones you think are nice, it is sincerely so disappointing. Not certain what to think, nor have I ever had a last minute fling before marriage yet remember this, birds of a feather flock together...Hey Soon to be Groom: I challenge you to bring integrity back to yourself and others and be yourself, that is if you know who that is...
StagWeb
for bachelor party ideas see stagweb.co.uk, Las Vegas is a must! amazing for that last night of being single.
hani
Your Comments just i want to say thank you
Sweetserenity
WOW...at one point, this was a good thing to read..just to know..but on the other hand..its frightening me. My fiance's friends are well, very sexual people and thats what maakes me scared...I mean, I guess every guy happens to be. but, if you go out to a Bachelor party and don't folow the rules you both, as a coupe had put forth..and have a lapdance, or 3!!! or...sex..or some sort of activity, i can tell you now , i am sure you future bride to be will not like it. Its only in the movies that guys get away with such a crude thing. Would you like your Fiance to go and get felt up by some guy in a club? (I am saying this as most male strippers are in fact gay, so i have to say about if your Fiance went to a club and danced hot with some guy and got all sweaty and rubbed on..) I am SURE you guys wouldn't approve of that, even if its her "last night of freedom". Which is a complete lie. Your last night must have been when you first met the women you fell in love with, otherwise why did you even bother getting into a relationship in the first place and then getting engaged? Only if your stupid enough to believe you could have gotten involved and still gone to strip clubs...thats what i call..well crude.
If my husband-to-be does in fact do anything, i'd be able to read it all over his face and or hear about it somehow*we all do!*, and I can tell you right now..there will be no wedding. and he knows that too! So be warned guys, hurt "her majesty!" and ...well, you'll be able to have a lot more of those nights with yourself and your porn. She won;t be around for it :) Thank you!
Rose
McMillan, thank you - that is what I as a woman wanted to hear! I disagree with the article in not telling the bride anything - if she spent her hen night making herself pretty in a spa, she would like you to share what you did as well. Hence, if you "don't you dare tell her a damned thing about how it all went down. She's only looking to feel jealous. " this is the biggest mistake, made before the wedding. Because in her head, she is imagining you in a harem...
Tell her the truth, lie to her, anything, but keep her in the dark. And respect her wish not to see strippers, you can do that any other time...
McMillan
The article is great, I agree with most points. In my case, most of my friends want a sexual night out. I'd rather a wild night out, with fun 'male' activities. What they want is strippers and maybe sex. I understand them, but my future wife is getting shocked by the comments and suggestions. Thus, I am preparing it myself. There must be consideration, and respect, and communication. In the end, look at it from her perspective - how would you like it if you heard that your partner was in the arms of some bodybuilder guy and then disappeared for half an hour. That is what women perceive from stag nights. As far as I am concerned, I'd rather we had a party together with her, and went wild and hot on the dancefloor together.
And the 'soon to be groom' metaphor of the prison - dude, call the wedding off, save your woman a court date in 10 years time. If that.
Soon to be Groom
Better before the wedding, than after. Wild or not, this is the man's last time to be himself. After the wedding, himself is no more. Its like the last dinner for an inmate before the electric chair or gas chamber. He should have whatever he wants.
Groom Groove
We kind of disagree with Destiny. If you're planning a wild night out, and you're bride isn't going to be happy with it, that's a signal you shouldn't be having such a wild night out.
Phill
I agree with destiny, just talk to your future bride about what she's comfortable with (you should already have a vague idea), but the whole relationship should be based on communication. you don't want to start off on a bad foot, so just talk to her about it, and if she's really against something that you've been looking forward to since before you met her, try to calmly explain that to her. Our bachelor party is the equivalent to their wedding showers, or the actual wedding day. guys don't always plan out every detail of the wedding in advance, but we do daydream about the bachelor party.
Destiny
Wow, so many guys think this is their last time for a wild time. I'm actually disgusted at the fact that who ever wrote this thinks it's cool to start a marriage out with lies that begin right before the wedding! If you are planning on having a "wild" night out, tell the bride to be. She may be ok with it, she may not. It's a respect thing. If you have that little respect for her, maybe you should think again about making the life long commitment to her.
Andrew
Soon-to-be-Groom - Pqfeople understand that weddings are more intimate things these days. Some of my co-workers are great and we go for drinks all the time, but that doesn't mean that I want to shell our $100 a plate for them!!! We're having a small wedding, so that probably works for us...
Soon-to-be-Groom
Is it okay to invite friends to the bachelor party who are not invited to the wedding?
Craig
Very classy guide guys.
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