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best man duties

best man as confidant

costs of being the best man

what to buy for the groom and bride

planning a mild bachelor party

planning a wild bachelor party

best man speeches

toasts for the best man

is it ok to bring a guest?

keeping your own date entertained

not crazy about the bride-to-be?

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not crazy about the bride-to-be? [Page 2 of 2]

The Preparation:

Depending on the mental state of the groom, the best man may have to do some heavy emotional lifting in the hours leading up to the ceremony - but more than likely, you're just there for some comic relief and to ease the nerves. Keep it simple and upbeat. The key to your role is to provide constant reassurance, not creeping doubt. Stay positive, even when his fiancée's heels come clicking in and her voice fills the room with shrill demands.

The Ceremony

Each wedding ceremony has a distinct and unique tone to it. In more formal settings, the best man is merely a prop - the silent keeper of the ring and a pillar of support. As long as you fulfill those duties with confidence, poise and a beaming smile on your face, you should be good.

In certain scenarios, you may be asked to read a written passage or some text, and unless you're illiterate, that should be easy enough. However, be sure to stick to the script and resist the urge to ad-lib.

The Toast

The wedding speech probably presents the most delicate maneuver for a best man who's not so wild about the bride. However, remember you are a representative of the groom himself. GroomGroove.com's Michael Arnot suggests that "if you're not crazy about the bride, move the focus of your toast squarely towards the groom and your relationship to him. Just leave her out other than a few pleasantries. It's the safest route." Keep in mind that the bride's got plenty of people in her corner!

The best man wears many hats throughout the entire wedding process: organizer, facilitator, confidant, and supporter. Above all, though, he must be selfless - especially when it comes to accepting the wife-to-be.   Eric Katz, 32, of Chicago and recent groom acknowledges this very personal conflict: "In this role, you need to put the feelings of the groom ahead of your own. If you can't do that for one day or one weekend, I can only describe it as selfishness." Now, we don't want to guilt-trip you into approving of your friend's marital decision, that's not the point. The choice must be your own. However, when you consider the significance of the groom's wedding and the importance of his happiness, the choice should ultimately be a simple one.



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Wed, Oct.29th 2014
My best friend is getting married. By far the best dude I've ever met. His fiancée is a complete bitch. Hates anything that has to do with him not being attached to her. She is over controlling and extremely negative. She can even be very mean at times. My best friend is one of the happiest funniest guys I know but has to completely change around her or she loses it. Her and I have got into it many times. She hates me and threatens his and my friendship. She's an evil witch but he's in love. Idk what to do. I can't imagine him being happy for life. She's such a negative being its just impossible. All advice helps.
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no jasne. su nejake ziisve, spontanne, zrejme pomohlo aj to perfektne pocasie, aj ked slnko nie je vzdy vyhra. ale tie s tou krajinou su famozne. take nema ani yervant. a keby mal, tak to pozadie aj tak uplne zatmavi a este si pamatam, ze prides zachvilu zase
Thu, Aug.25th 2011
Thank you so much for this arictle, it saved me time!
Sat, Jul.24th 2010
To the best man soon, It is your own decision how you treat this situation.If it was me and I had reason to dislike the behaviour of my brothers wife before the wedding and I knew it was justified,I would have no hesitation in having a private chat with my brother telling him I understood he was in love but here are my concerns.I would ask him if he knew how hurtful she could be and give him examples.I would also say perhaps your fiance has issues with the family that she would like to express,so it was all out in the open and things could be addressed and sorted before the big day.
best man soon
Tue, May.11th 2010
I am the best man in my brothers wedding this weekend. I really dont like my brother wife. She has said and did some terrible things to my wife and my family. My Brother works three jobs and his future wife sits home all day and doesnt work. She cant hold a job because she is lazy any advise
Fri, Jan.15th 2010
If my oldest and closest friend (I am best man in june) was marrying someone I couldn't stand and was the opposite of what i feel is suitable for him I think I would wonder if I actually knew the guy at all. Thankfully my friend is marrying someone who i will have no problem with about singng her praises on the big day. Oh and as someone close to the groom i would also have no problem telling him long before the proposal if I thought his partner was a looser. I would expect him to do the same.
bridezil'a best man
Mon, Jul.28th 2008
my nephew is marrying a TRUE bridezilla. I cant stand her. She even talked him into NOT inviting any of his family to the wedding (except me). What so I do..........I'll feel 2 faced if I "stand up" in their weedding to show my "love and support"
Fri, May.23rd 2008
ug. My younger brother and only sibling is getting married to a real two faced witch. No one (my entire family, including sweet grandma) likes her and in the 5 years they have been dating she has made no attempt to become part of our family. As he has lost most of his friends becuase he wont leave her side ever, i'm the best man. I am dreading this. He wants me to throw a big bachelor party for him, even though he totally skipped out on mine. He was my Best Man.
yeah but...
Tue, Nov.27th 2007
i agree you shouldn\'t tell the groom close to his wedding day, but telling her at all could cause a rift in your friendship. to each his own. some of us will never understand why these guys pick the women they do...
Tue, Nov.13th 2007
You absolutely cannot tell the groom that you think his bride sucks anywhere near wedding day. if you're that close to the groom, you should tell him the minute he finds this girl
best man
Wed, Oct.31st 2007
I totally understand the last post. Although my buddies bride is not quite to that extreme, we've never ever been friends, even when we all met in college. some people just will never get along or get close. but the groom knows that already!
Fri, Oct.26th 2007
Yeah. I figured as much. I'm the best man in just under two weeks. My pal and I have been close for nearly a quarter of a century. One of the most momentous things that he and I have in common is compassion, tolerance, understanding, simplicity, NON-materialism, and a certain populist approach toward life. And he's marrying a totally money-driven, silicon boob-implanted, judgmental, intolerant, bigoted, almost certainly homophobic Christian Conservative type with "God Bless America" and US Marine Corps (why??) stickers on her SUV. I'm going to be sick, but ... I'll do my bit. I guess I'll miss my dear old friend. There won't be much to talk about without pissing her off ;-)

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