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should you bring a guest? [Page 1 of 2]

If you're the best man at a wedding, you may have hitched in your own way - be it to a girlfriend, a fiancée or maybe even a wife. What happens if you're in the early stages of a relationship? Maybe you've been dating only for a couple of weeks or months. If you receive an invitation that says: "Steve, and guest", should you bring her along? What should you do if your girlfriend isn't on the wedding invitation?

There's really no clear answer and there's no hard and fast rule as to whom you should bring to a wedding, in which you are the best man. The first thing a best man should check, however, is the envelope of the frilly little wedding invitation in your hand. If it says something like this:

girlfriend not invited to wedding

Then it's just you, and not your girlfriend.

You may be wondering who, exactly, made THAT determination. Well, here goes: Wedding receptions are paid for based on a per-plate or per-head cost. As a rule, it's going to cost the lovely couple (or the bride's dad) anywhere from $50 and up, per plate. Extra guests are costly, and if the bride and groom set a guest list within their budget, it probably means that some acquaintances or even old friends of the groom and bride were left off the guest list. Keep that in mind if you're feeling kind of pissed that your girlfriend of four months ("Because we're getting a bit serious...") isn't invited. Capice?

You may have received an invite that looks like this:

invitation for best mans girlfriend

In that case, the bride and groom have budged you and your special lady friend into their wedding.

That said, if you received an invite that says "Steve, and guest", it indicates that the bride and groom may not actually know who you're dating. You may want to consider whether you and guest are serious enough to introduce her to the 150 other folks at the wedding. If you suspect that they just can't remember her name, or that's just the way the bride and groom have decided to address the wedding invitations, that's a little different. Read on. article continues...
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theknot.com is the best out there. It has SO many ideas. I haven't looked at The Knot Book of Wedding Lists, but it's the one I want to get. Also, I like mbyoddingworkweok.com for planning, particularly for the guest list. I have the free version. The Knot has online resources, so there may not be need to fork out the money for a book.
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Mon, May.10th 2010
Casey - I have the same problem, what did you decide?
Fri, May.7th 2010
My boyfriend is a groomsmen in a wedding and i was personally invited as his guest. now here is my problem. he is going in with the other groomsmen for a gift for the couple - i do not want to show up empty handed but do i get a gift from just me or do i put my boyfriends name on the card also?:
Tue, Nov.3rd 2009
Your Comments Where does the wife of the best man sit at the wedding? Main table with the best man...?

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