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best man duties

best man as confidant

costs of being the best man

what to buy for the groom and bride

planning a mild bachelor party

planning a wild bachelor party

best man speeches

toasts for the best man

is it ok to bring a guest?

keeping your own date entertained

not crazy about the bride-to-be?

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 best man duties (and the speech)

Congratulations! You're someone's Best Man. It's a great honor, and is a lot of fun. The bad news is that you might not know exactly what you're supposed to do as a best man.

best man speech funny

To make life as a best man easier for you, the guys at GroomGroove.com wrote this article to provide a quick and easy grocery list of the best man's duties and offers some tips on your best man speech.

If you want more info on your best man duties, we highly recommend our best man duties book. And if you want to rock the best man speech, we highly recommend our best man speech book. We've been there, numerous times, and we've helped literally thousands of "best men" over the years.

We wrote it knowing that all of us would rather be watching ESPN.


Keep in mind that your buddy's wedding is going to have different elements and options. Indeed, all of this could change if the groom and bride are having a destination wedding, or a backyard wedding or a Star Trek-themed wedding. (Yes, really.)

    Months before the Wedding

  • Get fitted for your tuxedo, probably at a tuxedo rental shop. (It'll likely cost you some coin, upfront. More on that, later.)
  • Organize and execute the bachelor party, be it a mild bachelor party or a wild bachelor party
  • Help the groom with his wedding duties. (Familiarize yourself with them on GroomGroove.com)
  • Be a confidant of the groom - your buddy is guaranteed to be a bit nervous

    Weeks Before the Wedding

  • Ask the groom and bride whether you'll have the honor of being called on to make a best man speech
  • Start preparing that wedding speech (Because it won't work well if you do it off the cuff)
  • Volunteer to help keep the groomsmen organized

    Days Before the Wedding

  • Pick up your tuxedo rental. Make sure the groomsmen have got their tuxes, too. (Did a groomsman forget to pack black socks? Deal with it, and don't mention it to the bride!)
  • Attend the wedding rehearsal, paying attention to your duties, but also the duties of the groomsmen. (The rehearsal is usually held the night before the wedding, in the mid-afternoon)
  • Attend the rehearsal dinner, and maybe even help in the preparations of the rehearsal dinner, which is often a relaxing event. (Think beer and flip flops, rather than tuxes and uptight. But be prepared for something more formal, too.)
  • Help decorate the reception site with flowers, boughs and other frilly things that the bride came up with. Smile while doing it. Make friends with the Maid of Honor.
  • The night before the wedding, organize the decoration of the wedding transportation, if necessary. You know - "Just married" etc. Be classy, of course!

    The Wedding Day - The Ceremony

  • Help the groom get dressed in his tuxedo or suit, and make sure he looks great
  • Make sure the groom arrives at the wedding location on time (about 30 minutes before the wedding starts)
  • Keep the groom and brides' wedding rings until the ring exchange. (Don't lose them!)
  • Know when you'll be called upon to deliver the rings.
  • Stay awake, smile and meet the groom and brides extended family.
  • Sign the marriage license and act as a legal witness to the marriage

    The Wedding Day - Post-Ceremony

  • The couple may give you a sealed envelope with a donation to give to the Church, Synagogue or officiant
  • Help the photographer gather and organize the guests for any group shots. Say "Cheese!"
  • If it rains, have umbrellas ready to roll. Check the weather.
  • If the transportation does not arrive or is late, have a plan. Never let the bride or groom have to figure it out.

    • The Wedding Day - At the Reception

  • Work with the Wedding MC so that any hiccups get sorted out. The wrong course is about to be delivered? Jump up and sort it out. Bonus points if the bride never even notices.

  • Present a very classy, funny best man speech or toast to the groom
  • Politely and tactfully take care of anyone who has had too much to drink Go easy on the booze (just this once!) Have fun and celebrate!

    The Wedding Day: Post-Reception

  • Help load and transport and secure the wedding gifts from the reception site
  • Make sure that nothing is left at the reception site
  • If the transportation is not provided for by the bride and groom, you may be expected to drive the newlyweds to the airport, home or hotel
  • Return both your tuxedo and the groom's tuxedo to the rental shop

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Maggie
Sun, May.9th 2010
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To be the best man at your buddy or brother's wedding is indeed a honor but can be nerve-wrecking. My brother was a best man recently and he really got great help and resources on how to write a best man speech and funny best man speech jokes at http://www.weddingspeeechesandtoasts.net. Everyone loved his speech and it was a big hit!
Robert
Tue, Apr.13th 2010
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After reading this I am confident that I truly want to kill my brother for bestowing this "Honor" on me!!!!!!!!!!
recentlybrandedbestman
Sun, Jan.17th 2010
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Is it just a myth that if the groom dies before the wedding, that the best man marries the bride? Just wondering. Didn't know if it was just a myth or if it's a tradition.
best man
Wed, Dec.30th 2009
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bought the book, was VERY thorough. The jokes were good, In my speech I used half from the book, half from my own.
soon-to-be-bride
Tue, Dec.22nd 2009
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is it just me, or is there a lot of duties that the best man is expected to do that should be up to the bride and groom???
bill
Mon, Dec.14th 2009
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just kidding. the book is great!
Chris morgan
Sat, Oct.17th 2009
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I bought both books. VERY helpful. Good investment.
AWESOME
Wed, Oct.14th 2009
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Nicely done - a lot of great stuff.
kewl
Thu, Jul.2nd 2009
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Good speech guide. I would have liked a canned speech, but I guess I basically learnt how to do that with the book.
best man
Tue, Jun.23rd 2009
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Well worth it for the speech guide. thanks.
bm
Tue, Jun.2nd 2009
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It's a good book. thanks,.
Bride
Sun, May.24th 2009
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I don't caree if my husband's best man doesn't bring the rings - i just want his best man speech to be cool and not embarrasing.
best
Sat, May.23rd 2009
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Was good, thanks.
U2Fan
Wed, Apr.1st 2009
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Great resource as is BestManTraining.com
Joan Edwards
Sat, Mar.14th 2009
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What are the obligations of the parents of the grooms second wedding?
Jason luban
Thu, Jan.8th 2009
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Very cool. I also found The Best Man Bible to be a great help (http://www.thebestmanbible.com).
jig
Fri, Nov.21st 2008
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thanks for the info
David
Tue, Jul.15th 2008
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very informative, thanks had all my questions addressed
magoo
Tue, Jun.10th 2008
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yes thank you very much ive been going off my head wondering were to start, uve give me plenty of confident an i think i no were im starting off now
GroomGroove.com
Sun, Mar.23rd 2008
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Shaun - good catch. We actually have a ton on speeches and toasts. But it was overlooked. It's corrected now.
Shaun
Fri, Mar.21st 2008
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Your Comments One item overlooked... you may have to give a toast at the rehearsal/wedding reception... so be prepared. Great site!
a train
Mon, Mar.3rd 2008
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thanks so much this is what i was lookin for
Benj B. Lenard Sr
Sun, Feb.24th 2008
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I am truly excited about being the best man
Chingon65
Wed, Feb.20th 2008
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YES! I NEEDED THIS! As the "Best Man" I had no idea what to do or where to start! Thanks for this site! I am gonna' proceed with all that is suggested here. THANKS!!
ed l
Mon, Nov.19th 2007
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man this helped out alot. my big bro is gettin married soon and i didn't know where to begin....until now =)
G
Wed, Oct.31st 2007
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Yes - more than anything I agree the point is to be there for the groom. Jitters are a big time issue.
Getting married Paul
Mon, Apr.16th 2007
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Thanks for laying it out there. This plus the article about jitters (confidant) was very helpful.

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