"Houston , We Have a Problem..."

There's a good reason it pays to prepare for the worst. That's because it just might happen on your watch.

Every now and then - and sometimes without warning - a groom has a change of heart about the whole wedding thing you've all spent months or years preparing for. The closer it gets to the actual wedding date, the tougher this will be on everyone involved.

The most important thing for you to realize, as best man, is that you don't get a vote. You may never have liked the groom's fiancée in the first place and the words "I don't think I can go through with this" might sound like music to your ears. The simple fact is that this isn't just breaking up; it's calling-off. And many emotions, including (but not limited to) embarrassment, guilt, anxiety, regret, fear, sadness, anger, confusion, and helplessness may result.   (Not to mention that a lot of money is probably involved.)   So have a heart-to-heart with the groom and try to isolate the source of the problem.

If nerves are the culprit

This is your opportunity to remind the groom that this is a gathering of people who genuinely care about his happiness. No one is expecting perfection, just a good time. And remember the honeymoon? That's coming right up! Put his focus back on the future.

If he's second-guessing his choice of bride...

This is the really tough one. This is not your opportunity to chime in and say "Hey, I'll marry her," or "Yeah, I never understood what you saw in her." This is your chance to really listen. If the groom decides after some real soul-searching that this isn't "The One" after all, you'll have to support his choice and ask if he'd like your help dispersing the news to members of the wedding party and other guests. Although it's not up to you to clean up his mess, you will want to remind him of any cancellations that need to be made for hotels, ceremony location, reception location, and honeymoon reservations.   This is not going to be an easy time for anyone, so try to think of yourself as press secretary to the president now, amidst a crisis. The less you say and the gentler you say it, the easier the letdown will be. First and foremost, support the groom during this difficult time. He'll probably be the recipient of a lot of flack for his decision and he'll need as much fraternal bonding as you can provide.

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