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best man duties

best man as confidant

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best man speeches

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Aside from the laundry list of duties and costs involved with being the best man, perhaps the most important thing you can do for the groom is to "have his back" or be there for him emotionally. Yes, the big 'E' word.

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If you were handpicked by the groom, he already thinks of you as someone he can talk to and trust. Don't fail him in his darkest moments of doubt; think of yourself as advisor to his president. Make it your mission to see that he gets down that aisle without a bead of sweat on his forehead, and with a smile on his face. He'll remember what you did for him and he may be able to return the favor someday. (If he hasn't already.)

Quality Check

From the minute you accept the job of best man, to the day you wave to the newlyweds' getaway car, you should establish and maintain open lines of communication between yourself and the groom.   Ask him how he feels about entering into matrimony.   Listen to any concerns he might have about his choice, about the stresses of wedding planning, about his family and future in-laws.   By simply checking in with the groom throughout the process, you may enable him to release some of the doubt or frustration that might otherwise remain bottled up 'til further down the line. (And possibly be released at an inappropriate moment.)

Case of the Jitters

It's inescapable; when it comes to making a decision of this magnitude in front of tens - possibly hundreds - of friends and family members, emotions will be running high and nerves will be put to the test, especially as the Big Day nears. The groom may need to blow off steam ("Why can't I choose my Mother-in-Law?!") or just admit to someone how nervous he is ("Is it really only a day away?")

Your first job is to listen and facilitate listening.   If the groom starts showing signs of stress or simply starts looking like a deer in the headlights, it's up to you to stand close by and ask how he's doing and what you can do, if anything.   If pulling him aside for a minute is possible, a pep talk might be in order. Keep some good jokes and old stories in your back pocket also.   Sometimes, all a friend needs is a laugh and a pat on the back, and suddenly they're back in the game. article continues...
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