An August 2006 article in Forbes magazine set off a firestorm. "Guys: a word of advice," wrote editor Michael Noer. "Marry pretty women or ugly ones. Short ones or tall ones. Blondes or brunettes. Just, whatever you do, don't marry a woman with a career." Is Noer's statement based on biased findings or is this some truly sage advice? GroomGroove.com makes the case for the former, but does believe there are certain key issues that need to honestly talked through before grooms and brides tie the knot.

The Argument

The crux of the Forbes article was that grooms who marry career women are generally unhappier than the norm, the offspring are screwed up, and the women are more likely to cheat and be soulless. Understandably, some men might not take too well to having their careers take a back seat to a high-powered CEO/wife of a major corporation. That said, we believe there is a fine balance that can be struck. After all, the 70s and 80s wiped out any notion that all women were meant only to make dinner, the bed, and children. While in 1970, according to the American Bar Association, women made up only10% of first year law students, by 2007, some 47% of first year law students were female. While this illustrates that many more men are able to find their soul mates at college or university, as well as in the workplace, it also means that there are more opportunities than ever for women to forge careers of their own, leading them up the corporate ladder, through the glass ceiling, and around the world doing so.

 Listen before you leap

GroomGroove.com believes that most major pitfalls of a career relationship can be avoided if you're willing to have a discussion about your individual careers and your life together in a frank way, long before you propose. While it is impossible to precisely predict a career path or trajectory, a conversation like this can reveal that your fiancée really does envision being the chief executive officer of the company where she's currently employed. Is this a surprise to you? Having this knowledge now will better prepare you for the years ahead. Equally so, if you foresee the potential to move from Midwestern city to Midwestern city over the course of your career, you need to be open with your fiancée about that. GroomGroove.com recognizes that a conversation about such a subject is about as exciting as Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day, however, disclosure and debate will land you and your girlfriend or fiancée on the same page before you make a lifelong commitment, eliminating the element of surprise down the road, even if you agree to disagree on some of the finer points for now.

Kids

Another important factor when marrying a career woman is children; "to have or not to have?" Beyond the if, when to have, if to have is the answer. Have you discussed whether your bride-to-be is interested in having children? If it is a sore point, you have some soul-searching to do. Women will invariably be the primary caregivers of new children, for a time, although you will have a large and important role to play. If you envision her raising your children and her giving up her career for a few years until the children reach elementary school, you'd be on the same wavelength. If your fiancée is a true career woman, she may wish to put off having children until she's reached a certain place in her career where she feels she's secured a good situation to return to.   She may also wish to return to work soon after giving birth, which will require you both to find care for your child. You may not be able to arrive at an arrangement that's perfect in both your minds, but consider the importance of your household income and your wife's fulfillment and overall happiness, too. Happy, fulfilled parents tend to equal happy children. If you're both determined to have a family, you'll find a way to make it work as a team. Just clarify before you exchange vows that this is something to which you're both committed.

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